It's quite a strange "coincidence" -if you wish to believe in coincidences that you may called it as like that- I say coincidence but it's not exactly a coincidence but don't know how or what else to call it..So, let me tell you the story from the beginning - not the very beginning tho, just how it all started - I wrote this paragraph/short essay on 23th of Feb at 8:37 pm:
"Our unhealed wounds brought us here today and today is already gone, already lived, already past..and we're just too afraid too close our eyes, to not re-live, to forget, to heal..we're the soldier of pain, waiting for sorrow to make stars cry..pain that we have, it doesn't exist in same matrix with you, not in the same realm of your reality.. everything is just a dream that you can't find the door to close..Don’t forget in this dreamland you're the ‘dream weaver of your kind’..once upon a time, our timeline crossed and we shared a few feelings, thoughts, insights that we can't not articulate anymore..and once we pretend to forget, and our mind put things in a sacred closet..then you'll be reminded within same wound, over a lifetime that took you to create..good night the dream weaver of your kind; paint it blue, paint it green, paint it you, your colour, 'the colour' that take my eyes off, shed some light on me, and makes me home again..home where I can be any colour I want.."
and then on 27th of Feb 5:40 am:
"5:27 Train. The train that is between of places..The train that takes me from home..apart me, divide me into two, one is already there and one is already gone..one is painting houses that never been invited and one is watching sky that never been seen, touched, kissed..who I am? as Lana says I'm a big time believer..A blind one, the one that everybody can fool around, vulnerable and weak and inhumanly treated..Here and there, always somewhere, Floating, riding through the stars..They're my friends..Friends that I never had and I never will have..every night my north node star salute me with shiness, brightness, brilliance and love..Love that I can't articulate and she doesn't want to be painted, remembered, or forgotten..She is my light and only mine..Only exist for me and I believe in her..
Today I woke up and for while, had a feeling on my heart like distress, heavy, and someone was trying to squish it..and my magical beautiful train; still waiting..still waiting to arrive me..maybe all my life passed on with waiting..uncertainty in certainty..Hope that's making me stale and dull.. me big time believer I'm always between in timelines, the planets that you cant see with bare eyes, can't touch with bare hands..it's potent, it's magic, it's alchemy..Big time believer me, born to fail..born to experiment the failure in different dimensions and outside of your reality..My reality is not in Venus, or Jupiter, or whatever the planet that you live in..wherever your home is..it's inexistent in your timeline..Me I'm not from same planet as you're and will never be..But I'm here and there..In between of you..In between of everything and nothing.."
and then the very next day, 28th of Feb I got on my 5:27 am train to office, and started to read this book called: "The book thief by Markus Zusak"..
and first sentence in the book:
“First the colors.
Then the humans.
That’s usually how I see things.
Or at least, how I try.”
and then few highlighted quotes that I wanna show - and yet I couldn't go back to book to read..
“The question is, what color will everything be at that moment when I come for you? What will the sky be saying?”
“—an expert at being left behind.”
“...despite all of the colors that touch and grapple with what I see in this world, I will often catch an eclipse when a human dies.”
And why it's strange to me because, venue of this book is train, train in Munich and I live in Hamburg..and I write on 'Train'..and author of the book is Australian-German..I'm moved from Australia to Germany..and I didn't know this author or this book before..and I'm afraid, more like scared...Feeling like there is a connection between me, this book and the author..but can't figure out what exactly it's..I'm afraid for some reason, I can't touch the book again..maybe overthinking, or putting too much meaning on it..but my brain can't make sense of it, and my intuition is afraid and I'm following it..
March 2, 2025 9:57 pm.