Just a Substitute Teacher.....

School has been in session for a week now and the teachers are, evidentially, healthy as Olympic athletes. No calls for a substitute yet.

The old school car, “Sally”, has found a new home. Needless to say, “Craig’s List” is my new best friend. As soon as my asking price for the old Saturn SL2 hit rock bottom, the phone was ringing off the hook…the day after I sold the car.

I know a lot of people who name their cars. I have a friend who calls her Honda Odyssey van “Homer” and her husband named his Mini Cooper “Marge”. He also has an old GTO named “green machine” or just “the goat” since EVERY GTO is known as “a goat”.

We kinda tried to name our cars at one time. But we hardly ever use the chosen names and usually fall back to make or style descriptions as a reference.

It’s usually:
“I’ll take the Saturn to school. We need a Costco run, so let’s take the van for the big stuff. The weather’s great, let’s take the sports car and put the top down.”

Hardly ever:
“I’ll take Sally to school. We need a Costco run so let’s take the van (we never really named the Caravan) since we need big stuff. The weather’s great, let’s take Silky and put the top down”

The new car may have to be the exception. It begs to have a name other than -- YARIS.

“The Toyota” has too many syllables for such a tiny car and “YARIS” sounds like some kind of demented pirate with a speech impediment.

“Avast, me hardies! Captain “YARRRRRR-HISSS” is on deck!”

So far, every woman has used the phrase “It’s SO cute”. So…we’ve started calling it “Cee-Cee”. Claudette says it stands for “chick car” or “cute car”.

Claudette has forbidden me to use the phrase “Clown Car”, but it really DOES remind me of one of those tiny cars in the circus that disgorges streams of endless clowns!

So it’s official. Our new “Toyota Yaris” will be hence known as “Cee-Cee”!

(…the “clown car”)

Incoming new replacement...




...for the, hopefully, outgoing "Old" School Car.

It might be completely dead this time. Don’t know for sure yet.

School resumes a month from today and it’s been almost exactly one year since I hoped to get one more year out of the “school car”. The car spends most of its time parked on the side of the driveway during the summer.

Then it began last week. I noticed that the battery indicator light was on when took it out to get gas at the local Costco. It’s been sitting idle for most of the summer so maybe the battery is just weak from non use. I’ll start driving it on short trips to at least keep the battery charged. Not a biggie.

A few short out and back trips didn’t persuade “school car” to extinguish the battery indicator. Well the battery IS five years old, so maybe it’s time for a new one. Note to self: pick up new battery on next trip to Costco. No biggie.

Uh, oh! Now I have “battery” AND “anti-lock brake” indicators showing. Coincidence? Can I make it until the weekend? It still runs and the brakes still work so hopefully not too much a biggie…right?

Yesterday, I agreed to baby-sit for my grandson and there is a Costco nearby. The plan is to take “school car” and pick up a new battery on the way back. Half way to my daughter’s house I notice that I have “battery”, “anti-lock brake” and now “air bag” indicators on…

I’m thinking it’s starting to look like a biggie…

With the grandson down for a nap and the baby monitor moved to the garage, I used son-in-law’s tools to dismantle the “way too complicated” battery cover and mounting bracket to get at the battery and terminals. Topped off the water levels, tightened all the connectors and re-started the car. No change.

Leaving my daughters place, I still have all three indicators on but now the car is idling at twice the normal rate. Half way to the Costco, the turn signals stop working.

It’s a biggie!

Plans to stop at Costco are now abandoned. Now I’m hoping to just make it to the Saturn dealer a few miles further down the road before the wheels fall off.

Two miles from the dealership, the engine is racing and ALL the engine indicators are on, no turn or emergence flasher signals work and I can’t roll down the power windows to attempt hand signals to make turns.

I’m almost hit twice for changing lanes without signaling. I’m glad I can’t read lips, but I know the intent of silent shouts I see in the review mirror.

Miraculously, I make it to the dealership, coast to a stop in the service driveway and shut the engine off. Everything electrical in the car is dead. Even the dome light doesn’t come on when I open the driver’s door.

They were pushing the car into the service garage when I left. I’m tempted to just hand them the keys and walk away.

-- Sunday July 27 update --

Heard back from the Saturn dealer yesterday. The conversation was something like a bizarre automotive version of "There was an old woman who swallowed a fly"

Dealer Guy: Well, we located the problem with your car.
Me: ok...

DG: The battery is completely dead. (...my original thought exactly)
Me: And?

DG: and...the cause was traced to the alternator. It's completely failed. (...good call Law and Order Teacher-- see the comments section)
Me: Anything else?

DG: Well, it appears that the power steering pump was leaking fluid onto the alternator that caused it to fail.
Me: Ouch! ...how much is this going to cost me?

DG: Uhh...(long pause)...we have to special order the power steering pump, alternator for your model year and a new battery it's going to run...(sounds of keyboard typing in the background)...Uhh, looks like $2150. We'll need your authorization before we proceed.
Me: Uhhh...Mmmm...$2150?...Uhhh...That's more than the car is worth!...Uhhh....ok?

So now the car is running again. My wallet is much lighter. Now I have to wonder if this is the end of major repairs for a while or just the start of a never ending litany of unknown problems to come.

(BTW: We looked at a Toyota Yaris while we were in the neighborhood)

It's amazing what engineering can do to maximize driver safety...



...and the follow up interview

I thought that hard top convertibles were something until I saw this!
My next school car!...

The new school year starts 8/27 and it’s time to gear up to be ready for it.

By “gear up”, I mean that in the literal sense. I was hoping to make it through at least one more year with “school car”, but in the last month or so I seem to have lost 40% of the gears on my manual stick Saturn and it also, desperately, needs new tires.

Try accelerating from the stop light when it goes green while the guy behind you starts honking because you stalled it trying to start in 3^rd gear.

I finally took it in to the local mechanic this week to see just how much damage to the bank account it was going to take to restore 1^st and 2^nd gears.

My dilemma comes down to deciding if I should dump the required cash for repairs to keep it going for another year or attempt to replace it with someone else’s decent ride that might be in better condition for about the same money? If I have transmission problems I know that’s BIG bucks. (…and not FUJI bucks, either)

Luckily, the problem turned out to be a broken shifter. The transmission and clutch are still just fine. It looks like the $250 to get it back functioning is still worth keeping it.

Now I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that “school car” doesn’t get a flat before the first new school year subbing check shows up at the end of September.

If I can hold out for a while maybe I can get me a NEW cheap Tata Motors putt putt.

A teacher I subbed for a couple of times last year called and asked if I would take his class of 31 fifth graders. With that call, my first official substitute assignment for the 2006/07 school year will be on Friday 9/1.

Today I took “School Car” in for a free oil change (w/coupon) and of course it wasn’t actually free. The oil change WAS free but the list of “other” suggested repairs wasn’t included.

The “School Car” is a twelve year old Saturn four door with 135,000 miles on the clock.

The ignition key sometimes jams in the ignition and can’t be removed without significant effort and repeated shots of “Liquid Wrench”.

The head liner in the rear half is separating from the roof and flaps when the windows are down like a sideways flag.

The transmission has a tendency to howl a bit at speeds above 40mph. It does wet itself in the driveway with what appears to be oil, tranny fluid, and maybe a hint of coolant.

At least two of the tires have had repeated shots of “flat fixer” over the last few years to try and stem the loss of overnight tire pressure. The tires are showing “worry line” age cracks in the sidewalls.

As a result, “School Car” is no longer allowed to meander more than about ten miles from home anymore.

So I wasn’t surprised or unbelieving when the service guy called with a litany of several “other” pressing maintenance items that should be taken care of.

The “suggested repair” bill would have totaled maybe twice what the car was worth IF it were in better condition. So we opted for just ONE of the more pressing repairs.

With that, I’ll have to work at least two solid weeks of Kinders to pay it off. With some luck and a traveling virus or two, I might earn enough subbing during September before the credit card bill arrives.

I don’t know when “School Car” will finally succumb to ravages of time and friction but I hope to make it just one more year.

…then maybe one more year after that.

I’d really hate to risk “School Car’s” younger sister to the possible abuse of the school parking lot.