Just a Substitute Teacher.....

Working at the middle school level, I immediately discovered that my standard substitute teacher report needed a total overhaul. After a a few tweaks, here's what I came up with...



Fortunately I have a double sided printer to fit it on the front and back of one 8 1/2" x 11" page.

Again, as with the elementary school version anyone is free to steal, copy, edit, adapt, adjust, duplicate, replicate or photocopy mine for their own use. Also available in MS/Word format via email.

After a week off for a short vacation in Las Vegas and only nine school days left in the school term before summer, I was doubtful about getting much work in the classroom.

I was wrong.

I missed three calls Tuesday night (I’m not at home Tues nights before 9:00pm) but did get a history class assignment at the middle school for Wednesday and two 1st/2nd grade combo-classes for the rest of the week.

The “history” assignment was pretty much a do nothing day. It seemed like half of the entire school was gone on the “Honors Fun Field Trip” to the beach. I was told that “honors” is considered grades “B” or better.

The left behinders were assigned to write a class/teacher evaluation followed by movies for the remainder of the period. The only thing “history related” about the movies was when they were last viewed in theaters.

Very low stress assignment for me but pretty boring for everyone else involved.

I had an ART class assignment at the middle school Friday. In addition to the lesson plan there were four detention referral forms.

Pre-filled out with student names!

But…didn’t have to use any of them.

The emergency alarms went off Monday morning about half way into first period Language Arts class I was subbing at the Middle School.

We excited (danm dose spel chexers) exited the building and assembled with rest of the school at the far edge of the athletic field and waited. At some point, school administrator(s) tour all the rooms to make sure everyone has left the buildings. When complete, classes are then dismissed one at time back to class and lessons resume.

I’ve been through these drills before and except for the district wide earthquake drill, it usually takes no more than 15-20minutes out of the school day.

After 20mins had passed and there was no indication of anything happening, I approached a group of other teachers to find out what was happening and how much longer it might be before they called “all clear”.

There were discussing the same thing. No one knew what was happening. It was obvious this wasn’t an earthquake drill and there didn’t appear to be any sign of smoke in the air to indicate a real fire.

About 30mins later, after spotting a few police cars in the parking lot, we were told that an anonymous call was made indicating there was a bomb on campus. We were instructed not to tell the kids anything and not to let them back into the school until the search of the school was complete.

It was now obvious to the almost 1000 students on the athletic field that this was no drill as evidenced by the numerous police and school maintenance people poking around trash cans, bathrooms, classrooms and behind the bushes on campus. “But I gotta go BAD!” complaints became more and more frequent from the students standing in line. My advice to “hold it” was not well received.

By the time the police issued an “all clear”, second period was long gone. The school issued a short announcement about the bomb threat and that all kids should skip 2nd period and report to their 3rd period class instead.

The teachers at lunch told me that they’ll probably know who was responsible for the anonymous call in 2-3 days. They explained that it’s most likely a student at the school that made the call. The guy (they knew that much from the phone call) most likely has friends he’ll brag about it to. His friends will have friends and after that, word will spread to the school staff.

I was back at the school Thursday for 8th grade Algebra. The school and police had the name.

No one was surprised…

One big difference between subbing middle school and elementary is that every now and then I get to learn something new.

Subbing in middle school science class,  they were watching a video about the differences between butterflies and moths.

• In certain cultures, butterflies in the house are a sign of bad luck.
• In medieval times butterflies were sometimes consumed by pregnant women to insure a healthy baby.
• There is variety of moth called the “Vampire Moth” that pierces the eyes of farm animals to drink blood.

But the biggest reaction from students was when a man picked a caterpillar off a plant branch and ate it…raw.

The middle school called for an assignment Friday. Unlike the usual recognizable assignments like Math, Science, PE and (shudder) SPEC-ED this one was for a subject called “Quest”. I accepted it and immediately called the school secretary to ask what this assignment is. If it was going to be a repeat of last week's experience, I could always go back, “decline” it and throw it back in the job assignment pool.

I asked: “Knowing how my day went with that last week's SPEC-ED class, would you think this something I would go for if I knew what it was?”

She assured me that it’s a regular class that covers something vaguely called “life skills dealing with the real world”. It still sounded a bit suspicious but she said it would be “ok”.

My “quest” assignment was to have the students watch the video documentary titled “The Children's March” about the young people of Birmingham, Alabama that braved the fire hoses and police dogs in 1963 that brought about the end of institutionalized segregation in the U.S.

During the first period viewing of the video, I was impressed that the actual video footage included the uncensored rough language that would normally be cleaned up by the censor “bleep” button. Hearing the “n-word” used in a classroom setting was a bit surreal but it fit the context of the documentary. Real life is sometimes pretty ugly.

It was during the 3rd or 4th viewing that I realized that I was the same age as some of the youngest students from 1963!  I’m now old enough to be theoretically included in a middle school documentary lesson!

Feeling tired now…

This first week back after the winter break started calm enough. I had a two day assignment in 5th grade at the “Country Club” school near the house. Great class, very organized plans, great kids.

Then the call cane this morning at Oh-Five-Dark-Thirty for a Spec-Ed class at the middle school down the road. I hung up and went back to sleep. They called back at 06:30 for the same class. Being more awake, I took the assignment figuring that it shouldn’t be that bad on this “minimum day Thursday”. Even if I did get a stinker or two in class, I only have to endure it for that particular 40min period.

My first disappointment came upon arriving at the school for check in to be told that they “don’t do minimum day Thursdays” at the middle school level.

The second disappointment came when I got the attendance sheets for all five periods and saw all the same names listed for ALL five periods. Still, trying to be optimistic, I recalled my experience at the elementary school with SPEC-Ed  and hoped for the same.

Arriving at the classroom I couldn’t seem to find any kind of lesson plan. Oh-Oh!

The office called before the first bell with news that the teacher had emailed the lesson plan and they would get it to me shortly. Well that should be fine since the class aide would know how the day starts and could direct me in what should be done until the lesson plan arrived.

Fortunately the plan arrived before the first bell and I had just enough time read that the aide for this class doesn’t show up until 30mins after school starts. Whew! That was a close call. No plan, no aide… disaster avoided!

How did my day go from there? Not really great. The leader of the pack, “She-Wolf”, is a 14yr old girl taller and heavier that me. Her attitude was that she could sit anywhere, do anything, SAY anything, slap her “friends” and be a general pain in the ass without consequences.

The aide wasn’t reacting except to instruct “She-Wolf” to stop it. In a NORMAL class, I would have called down to have her removed immediately for this behavior, but it IS Special-Ed. The aide, now in class and running some of the assignments didn’t seemed phased by the activity so I went with the plan until between periods.

It was then I approached the aide to ask if this was normal and expected behavior for “this class” or could I write a detention slip and eject “She-Wolf” in the hope that the rest of the class might settle down.

“She-Wolf” must have overheard because she shouts out: “YEA! I WANNA GO OFFICE!”

I guess the aide was waiting for me to take the lead because she immediately agreed and made the call while I wrote the detention slip. The principal arrived, instructed “She-Wolf” to pack up. As she was leaving, WannaBeGangster, sitting in front must have made some kind of snide comment I didn’t hear because the principle turned on him, pointed and said: “You! Pack it up and come with me”.

I like this guy…

With those two gone, the rest of the day was still difficult but much better than before. I’m glad it’s over and I won’t be accepting any more late morning calls for SPEC-ED/Middle School in the near future.

“YOU are going to sub for 8th grade ART?”
Friends who know me are well aware that I know very little about art or how to “teach” it. They were curious why I took the assignment. Short answer: “Because they called me.”

“What are you going to do?”
I won’t know until I get there. Like all subbing assignments, I don’t really know what’s waiting for me until I get to the classroom to read and figure out what’s on the lesson plan before the first period students hit the door.

“What if there isn’t a lesson plan?”
I’m screwed! Fortunately, that didn’t happen today.

Lesson plan:

1. Take roll
2. Show video of a famous artist I’ve never heard of.
3. Pass out worksheets about the famous artist I’ve never heard of and have them complete it in class.
4. …and repeat (for the next 4 periods)

In the middle of those “working” intervals, I got a 50 minute “planning period” which didn’t have any planning, followed immediately by a 10 minute “break period”. Add to that, a half hour lunch around noon and my day is complete.

Of course it helps if the students are mature enough not to explode into all out party mode when a substitute is in for the regular teacher. So far I’ve lucked out three times in a row for this year.

…I just jinxed myself, didn’t I

This year’s restriction by the school district not allowing teachers to request favored subs in their classrooms has had the unintended benefit that I’ve had a few more calls from the middle school. My personal inclination and schedule didn’t mesh with my taking any last minute, middle school P.E. assignments, but when an 8th grade science assignment came up, I accepted.

While I haven’t encountered any of these kids for the last two or three years, still about a third of them in each of the five periods remembered me from their elementary school days.

The teacher had seating charts with photos for each period that made taking roll five times a lot quicker than wasting time calling names. It was a bit social (ie: noisy conversation) at times but as long as they did the work I didn’t mind.

It was a good day and I realized that teaching the same subject to five different classes is much easier than teaching five different subjects to one class. By the time the 2nd or 3rd period shows up, I have ready answers to anticipated questions from the previous periods.

Switching topics, my wife and I have attended the same small church for more than 25yrs. In that time we’ve observed many changes. It is most noticeable in the changes the kids go through from infant to functioning adult.

Evidently one of these, now a 7th grade teenager, attends the middle school I was at last Friday. As she didn’t attend any of the elementary schools that I work, she only recognizes me in the context of “church”. When her mother approached me Sunday morning to ask if I was at her daughter's school on Friday, I was amused.

Her daughter had come home and related that she thought she had seen someone who looked exactly like me walking across the campus on the way to the teachers' lounge. She wasn’t sure if it was me or not. And if it was, why would I be at her school on a Friday afternoon?

I guess it can be a bit freaky to encounter someone “out of context” on a weekday.

Today I took a bold step into the unknown. I subbed a half day, pre-algebra class in middle school.

Up to now, I have limited my subbing experience exclusively to the lower grades (k-6th). Seeing how 6th graders act at the end of the school year, I could just imagine how bad they’d be as 7th and 8th graders. This year I toyed with the idea of just trying out to see how different it might be to sub in the upper grades.

This assignment was perfect for getting a taste of what subbing was like at this level. A half day assignment in the afternoon that included a prep-period had me exposed to only two sections of pre-Algebra class.

Since I hadn’t been at this school before, I arrived early, checked in and went out to my classroom already in progress. The knock at the door was answered by a face that displayed the expressions of surprise, incomprehension, confusion and a blurted “What are YOU doing here”?

With that comment the rest of the class turned to see who the kid, that I know as a “troubled leader” since the 3rd grade, was talking about.

About half of the class recognized me and greeted me with “Hi! Mr. Homework!!” while the other half suddenly seemed very curious and perplexed about this stranger with the odd name.

Now that I had unintentionally interrupted the class, I signaled that they should pay attention and get back to work. After they had been given a math quiz to start, the teacher came over to go over the lesson plan for the day.

“I guess a lot of these kids already know you Mr. Homer?” She said in greeting. I introduced myself as Mr. P while correcting and explaining the misheard nickname.

While the class quietly worked, she went over the lesson plan and answered the few questions I had about how to do the roll since I didn’t have access to the online roll system the teachers use. At the end of the period, she and the class exited the room and I waited for my first introduction to a middle school class.

Both classes were clones of each other.

The first few kids arriving early expecting to see their regular teacher instead saw a “Blast from the Past” as Mr. Homework was standing at the front of the classroom. A few even did double takes before a smile of recognition appeared.

I knew about half of the kids in each period and of course the other half wanted to know what the deal was. Even though I had written my real name on the board, “my” kids kept referring to me as Mr. Homework. A few of the new kids asked about the name but time constraints didn’t allow the telling of the full story. I replied that they should ask one of “my kids” to tell the story after school and left it at that. Both periods ended really well. I had no problems and the kids didn’t act up at all.

I think I like middle school…so far.