Just a Substitute Teacher.....

I got the following notice enclosed with my tax refund...


Pardon my skepticism in taking any financial advice from an organization that's over $14 TRILLION in debt.

Might I suggest that we can eliminate all demonstrated, ineffective "commissions" like the Federal Financial Literacy and Education Commission as a minuscule step in the right direction?

I recognize other subs, if not by name, by sight fairly often after a year or two on the job. So when he entered the staff lounge at lunch time and I hadn’t seen him before, I assumed that he must be relatively new.

I invited him to share the table as we exchanged the customary first time meeting introductions. It turns out that we have very similar histories in how we both arrived in the role of a substitute teacher.

We are about the same age; both came from computer programming backgrounds and ended our careers in much the same manner. The only difference was, his was a layoff five years ago while mine was seven.

I was a bit surprised to find out, since I hadn’t seen him before, that he’s been on the subbing list for this school district for most of those five years and yet we hadn’t run across each other until now.

I originally enrolled in three districts when I first started and quickly reduced that to only a single one after a couple years. I assumed incorrectly that he must have been working other districts and just recently signed for this one.

In comparing “assignment frequency”, he was surprised to hear that I’m averaging 2-3 days a week in this single district we both share while he is having problems getting 2 days a week despite working for four separate districts. Next year, his plan is to enroll in one additional elementary district that has a reputation (not a good one) but has a higher pay rate to increase his assignment chances.

With several newer-hired subs and last year’s change in assignment procedure priorities to favor unemployed teachers, I’m surprised that I’m still working about the same frequency as normal but at fewer schools.

His parting comment: “Doesn’t seem to make any sense…must be a popularity contest.”

Spring break ended two weeks ago. My personal “Spring break” continued for an additional week as there were no calls.

With only 20 days left in this school year, I should take all the assignments I can get before the summer income drought begins. So of course, as fate dictates, the first call this week is…Kindergarten!

Now, normally I wouldn’t take this particular class for one reason. This Kinder teacher is the only one I’ve encountered (so far) that has “painting” as a free choice activity at the end of the day. The before class preparation is a time consuming and messy process with the added bonus that some combination of shirt, pants and/or shoes will not escape an inadvertent color makeover before the end of the day.

The tri-sided art station, containing six color pots on each side, meant replacing all 18 pots of paint and cleaning all 18 brushes while attempting to avoid ending up looking like a cast member in a production of “Joseph and the Multicolor Dreamcoat”

As per lesson plan instructions, I discarded the 18 old plastic bags of paint and grabbed the box of new plastic bags…There were only four Ziplock bags left in the box!!!

I suddenly realize that I’m at a crossroad with two choices. Do I persistently scour all the cabinets in the classroom looking for a new box of plastic bags or employ the old standard “…can’t find the pencil/book/homework in plane sight” student excuse.

There was no “free choice art” activity today.

From my online interview questions for the high school tag team bloggers Phil & Ted 

1) At what point in your academic (pre-academic?) career did you realize that you had a talent for writing?


2) Do you write for any other media other than the blog? (School newspaper, English composition class, paid essay-writing services for fellow students, wall graffiti...)


3) Why blogging? Class assignment, experimentation, fame, fortune, just for fun...?


4) Any goals to turn this into a future career and if so, what area?


5) (Just curious...) How are your grades in the other non-literary subjects?


6) Any questions you might have for me?


From me:


7) ...and finally, is there really a "Ted"? If so, his writing style is indistinguishable from yours. Very suspicious.


8) Is there anything Ted would like to contribute to the interview or would he rather stay the silent partner?

The high school blogger team of Phil & Ted offers the following: 100 tips For The Substitute Teacher

It’s really, really long but I have personally used #’s 1, 2, 3, 26, 30, 34, & 84.

(Note: I might have Phil and/or Ted as guest bloggers, so your comments would be useful in determining that decision.)

...Don't mess with the U.S. Navy Seals!

My last assignment for the month was a Title 1 school, second grade class the day before “Spring Break”! (Ugh)

I know, I know…not the wisest move on my part, the last day before a holiday. I know I’m going to have problems, but I am short days this month. It’s the last opportunity to add to an already anemic April paycheck.

The class was as difficult as expected. Not “terrible out of control” difficult just the “wearing me out” difficult getting them to do class work instead of tattling, whining and the constantly goofing off that comes with kids this age. No surprise there.

The end of day bell could not come soon enough for me as I dismissed the class to get backpacks from the coat closet and go home. Just when I thought I’d heard it all, three girls came running out to tattle on some boys for “opening doors”.

Having no clue what “opening doors” in a coat closet could possibility mean I had to investigate.

Now, I know the classrooms are small and outdated but I just have to wonder who had the bright idea of installing the high voltage electrical circuit breaker panels in a closet the teacher uses as a combination, backpack, coat, and outdoor play equipment room.

Sure enough, a couple boys have the kid height access panels to the high voltage circuits open and are flipping breaker switches! Fortunately there are no exposed circuits, but still…

Since the lights in my classroom are still working, I had no idea what the breakers controlled but I wouldn’t be surprised if some teacher in another classroom must be wondering if there are poltergeists haunting his/her classroom.

(…The original title of this post was "Spring Break", but then I realized I had a better title!)

"I have dream!" .vs. "I have a plan!"

Success vs Failure explained...
(It's long but worth every minute)



HT: CarpeDiem for the find

(I’m probably going to get flamed for this but…)

The Individualized Education Program (IEP), mandated by the “Disabilities Education Act”, is supposed to address kids who have delayed skills or other disabilities that make learning or functioning in a school environment difficult.

I’ve subbed classes with IEP kids before and I truly feel for the well behaved 4th grader that tries real hard to do the “individualized” 2nd grade math problems and still doesn’t “get it”. The more serious disruptive behavior cases often have a personal aide that attends class with them and will handle the issues that come up.

But, like any government program, I suspect that the “IEP” can be misused as an excuse for just plain lazy, careless work.

I just completed a 2-day stint with group of friendly, good natured, cooperative 5th graders at the country club school. But there always seems to be at least one “goof ball” who isn’t quite with the program. Let’s call him “Dave” for anonymity reasons.

Dave is also friendly, cooperative, and good natured but doesn’t do any work. If pressed, he can do the work with constant prompting but on his own, when my back is turned, he spends his time in class drawing posters. He has an IEP.

His IEP (briefly explained on the lesson plan) allows him to complete only about half the homework and/or class work. The problem with Dave is that he hasn’t done even the half he is supposed to do.

Now I’m only guessing but given the nature and make up of the school, I suspect that Dave’s low performance isn’t up to the expectations of his highly successful parents and therefore it must be a bad school or some medical condition as a reason for their son’s poor performance. Since the school is one of the highest rated schools in Calif, the problem must therefore be “medical”.

No one is simply allowed to fail anymore.

For more on (possible) misuses of the IEP program, check out the Untouchables on Buckhorn Road

Every job I’ve had included some sort of  “performance review” process to let you know where you stood in the ranks of fellow job holders. The results of the review determine pay raises, bonus, a promotion or in some cases a layoff notice. As far as I know, the only profession(s) where this doesn’t happen is the self employed and substitute teachers.

But then again…

(Found this on the desk after the 3rd graders left for the day...)

Here’s a tip for beginning substitute teachers.

When arriving at a school for the first time and you are looking for the school office, look for a flagpole.

The school office is most likely located in the building nearest to it. The office door is most likely the door nearest the flagpole.

There are exceptions. I arrived to check in with 2 minutes to spare for a 5th grade class last Friday to find that the school office was missing. I’ve been to this school numerous times over the last five years and the school office was always right there behind the flagpole. The building was still there but the front desk, phones, computers, furniture, filing cabinets, school principal and office staff…all gone!

It took me another five minutes to locate the “temporary” school office in one of the unused Kindergarten classrooms.

It seems that they had just begun remodeling the “old office” to be turned into the new teacher’s lounge and resource area. The “new office” will relocated to a building at the other end of the parking lot.

I wonder if they’ll move the flagpole?

Winner update:
Congratulations Lisa of Columbus, OH! She is the winner of the DVD combo pack of the Disney movie "Tangled"
(Winning selection was made using the latest online random number technology available and verified by a real church secretary to guarantee an unbiased result.)


In a shameless attempt to drive traffic to the blog and promote the DVD release of the Disney movie "Tangled",  the promotions people have offered me some freebie giveaways. One of which is a DVD of the movie.

To enter for a chance in the random drawing, email with your name and return email address to: [email protected]  (One entry per person, please)

The cutoff date for contest entries will be midnight March/31 . Winner will be posted here (First name only) on or about April 2

Promoters update(s):
3/24: "...winner's DVD is being upgraded to a BLU-RAY COMBO PACK!!"
3/24: "...if people take pictures of themselves doing the Tangled talents  (Rapunzel hair, cooking, lanterns, etc), we'd love to see them forwarded to us..."  (If there are any, I'll forward them on...)

Entries submitted to date: 20  (odds are good!)

The school district pay period for substitute teachers runs from the 26th of one month to the 25th of the next with the check issued on the 10th of the third month. When you factor in unpaid school holidays and breaks, this works out to an average of 20 possible working days a month. A good paycheck for me is little more than half that.

The reason that it isn’t 20 of 20 days every month is that the district doesn’t call every day. When the system does call, I’m might not have been at home to take the call. If I am home to take the call, it might be for a school/class I’d rather “gift” to someone else if you know what I mean. Then there are the calls that I let go just because I need a break. Subbing lots of elementary assignments in a row tends to fuel more of those “just need a break” occasions.

Since I added a couple middle schools to the list of 13 elementary schools I sub, the system has been calling almost every day. My trepidations about working with 7th and 8th graders hasn’t come to pass (yet) as I’m tending to actually prefer the middle school assignments over elementary.

For the pay period Feb/March, I worked 7 days at the elementary schools and 8 at the middle school for a total of 15 working days.

Just in time for tax day April/15.

I sure could have used this when I was in school but the internet wasn't invented yet...

Try it out here -> http://www.khanacademy.org/

I had an ART class assignment at the middle school Friday. In addition to the lesson plan there were four detention referral forms.

Pre-filled out with student names!

But…didn’t have to use any of them.

The emergency alarms went off Monday morning about half way into first period Language Arts class I was subbing at the Middle School.

We excited (danm dose spel chexers) exited the building and assembled with rest of the school at the far edge of the athletic field and waited. At some point, school administrator(s) tour all the rooms to make sure everyone has left the buildings. When complete, classes are then dismissed one at time back to class and lessons resume.

I’ve been through these drills before and except for the district wide earthquake drill, it usually takes no more than 15-20minutes out of the school day.

After 20mins had passed and there was no indication of anything happening, I approached a group of other teachers to find out what was happening and how much longer it might be before they called “all clear”.

There were discussing the same thing. No one knew what was happening. It was obvious this wasn’t an earthquake drill and there didn’t appear to be any sign of smoke in the air to indicate a real fire.

About 30mins later, after spotting a few police cars in the parking lot, we were told that an anonymous call was made indicating there was a bomb on campus. We were instructed not to tell the kids anything and not to let them back into the school until the search of the school was complete.

It was now obvious to the almost 1000 students on the athletic field that this was no drill as evidenced by the numerous police and school maintenance people poking around trash cans, bathrooms, classrooms and behind the bushes on campus. “But I gotta go BAD!” complaints became more and more frequent from the students standing in line. My advice to “hold it” was not well received.

By the time the police issued an “all clear”, second period was long gone. The school issued a short announcement about the bomb threat and that all kids should skip 2nd period and report to their 3rd period class instead.

The teachers at lunch told me that they’ll probably know who was responsible for the anonymous call in 2-3 days. They explained that it’s most likely a student at the school that made the call. The guy (they knew that much from the phone call) most likely has friends he’ll brag about it to. His friends will have friends and after that, word will spread to the school staff.

I was back at the school Thursday for 8th grade Algebra. The school and police had the name.

No one was surprised…

Miracle - Girl
Contessa - Girl

One big difference between subbing middle school and elementary is that every now and then I get to learn something new.

Subbing in middle school science class,  they were watching a video about the differences between butterflies and moths.

• In certain cultures, butterflies in the house are a sign of bad luck.
• In medieval times butterflies were sometimes consumed by pregnant women to insure a healthy baby.
• There is variety of moth called the “Vampire Moth” that pierces the eyes of farm animals to drink blood.

But the biggest reaction from students was when a man picked a caterpillar off a plant branch and ate it…raw.

The middle school called for an assignment Friday. Unlike the usual recognizable assignments like Math, Science, PE and (shudder) SPEC-ED this one was for a subject called “Quest”. I accepted it and immediately called the school secretary to ask what this assignment is. If it was going to be a repeat of last week's experience, I could always go back, “decline” it and throw it back in the job assignment pool.

I asked: “Knowing how my day went with that last week's SPEC-ED class, would you think this something I would go for if I knew what it was?”

She assured me that it’s a regular class that covers something vaguely called “life skills dealing with the real world”. It still sounded a bit suspicious but she said it would be “ok”.

My “quest” assignment was to have the students watch the video documentary titled “The Children's March” about the young people of Birmingham, Alabama that braved the fire hoses and police dogs in 1963 that brought about the end of institutionalized segregation in the U.S.

During the first period viewing of the video, I was impressed that the actual video footage included the uncensored rough language that would normally be cleaned up by the censor “bleep” button. Hearing the “n-word” used in a classroom setting was a bit surreal but it fit the context of the documentary. Real life is sometimes pretty ugly.

It was during the 3rd or 4th viewing that I realized that I was the same age as some of the youngest students from 1963!  I’m now old enough to be theoretically included in a middle school documentary lesson!

Feeling tired now…

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2011/03/10/teen-survives-plunge-off-golden-gate-bridge/
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This first week back after the winter break started calm enough. I had a two day assignment in 5th grade at the “Country Club” school near the house. Great class, very organized plans, great kids.

Then the call cane this morning at Oh-Five-Dark-Thirty for a Spec-Ed class at the middle school down the road. I hung up and went back to sleep. They called back at 06:30 for the same class. Being more awake, I took the assignment figuring that it shouldn’t be that bad on this “minimum day Thursday”. Even if I did get a stinker or two in class, I only have to endure it for that particular 40min period.

My first disappointment came upon arriving at the school for check in to be told that they “don’t do minimum day Thursdays” at the middle school level.

The second disappointment came when I got the attendance sheets for all five periods and saw all the same names listed for ALL five periods. Still, trying to be optimistic, I recalled my experience at the elementary school with SPEC-Ed  and hoped for the same.

Arriving at the classroom I couldn’t seem to find any kind of lesson plan. Oh-Oh!

The office called before the first bell with news that the teacher had emailed the lesson plan and they would get it to me shortly. Well that should be fine since the class aide would know how the day starts and could direct me in what should be done until the lesson plan arrived.

Fortunately the plan arrived before the first bell and I had just enough time read that the aide for this class doesn’t show up until 30mins after school starts. Whew! That was a close call. No plan, no aide… disaster avoided!

How did my day go from there? Not really great. The leader of the pack, “She-Wolf”, is a 14yr old girl taller and heavier that me. Her attitude was that she could sit anywhere, do anything, SAY anything, slap her “friends” and be a general pain in the ass without consequences.

The aide wasn’t reacting except to instruct “She-Wolf” to stop it. In a NORMAL class, I would have called down to have her removed immediately for this behavior, but it IS Special-Ed. The aide, now in class and running some of the assignments didn’t seemed phased by the activity so I went with the plan until between periods.

It was then I approached the aide to ask if this was normal and expected behavior for “this class” or could I write a detention slip and eject “She-Wolf” in the hope that the rest of the class might settle down.

“She-Wolf” must have overheard because she shouts out: “YEA! I WANNA GO OFFICE!”

I guess the aide was waiting for me to take the lead because she immediately agreed and made the call while I wrote the detention slip. The principal arrived, instructed “She-Wolf” to pack up. As she was leaving, WannaBeGangster, sitting in front must have made some kind of snide comment I didn’t hear because the principle turned on him, pointed and said: “You! Pack it up and come with me”.

I like this guy…

With those two gone, the rest of the day was still difficult but much better than before. I’m glad it’s over and I won’t be accepting any more late morning calls for SPEC-ED/Middle School in the near future.

A Public Service Announcement...

From: Egyptian man names daughter "Facebook"

School is out this week for winter break so that leaves idle time to check out other sources and ideas that might help in the classroom. The website “Super Substitute Teachers!” is where I recently came across the “Coffee is not your friend” for substitute teachers tip:

“As coffee is a diuretic, it can be dangerous to drink before school starts…it can be hard to plan a bathroom breaks.”

I learned this tip the first few weeks of the job. Unlike the office job I had before, you just can’t stop work and take a restroom break whenever “nature calls”. The first thing to find out at a new school is where all the nearby restrooms are and the scheduled breaks to make use of them

Substitute any caffeinated drink of choice in place of coffee in the above statement and the warning still holds true. I’m not a coffee drinker. My morning wakeup beverage of choice is Diet Pepsi. It’s also my drive to work choice, my lunch, break and after school down time choice. I drink a LOT of Diet Pepsi as any of my friends will attest.

I'll probably be spending some additional time on the site for tips I can take back to the classroom starting Monday.

When I heard the news about thousands of teachers missing school to attend protest rallies outside the Wisconsin State Capitol, I thought "Wow! must be a full employment day for substitute teachers". Not so. I read that they just closed all the schools for lack of teachers. It's just one less potential "payday" for all WI substitute teachers.


How does one just skip work without a valid excuse and not get fired? Here's how the Madison teachers did it:

Is just me or does anyone else have a hard time locating stuff in the Teacher Edition (TE) subject manuals?

The problem is compounded when the TE is actually two separate volumes. Then multiply that by two again for a combo class of 4th and 5th grade math evaluations. Now multiply the situation by thirty students at different grade and ability levels needing to check the answers of 4 and 5 skill-check problems each.

It didn’t take long before I gave up juggling the four TE’s trying to find the correct skills page with answers for each student waiting in line.

After waiting line reached 4-5 kids and getting longer by the minute, I chucked the manuals entirely and just did the mental math to see if their answers were correct. If I detected an erroneous answer, I carefully redid my own work to make sure I hadn’t been the one in error.

There is nothing more humbling than telling a 4th grader he’s got the wrong answer when in fact he/she does have it right.

...explaining the differences.



(HT: Carpe Diem)

I’m not sure if it’s a state wide, district wide or just this school where all 5th graders do a “State Report”. They collect research, data and illustrations on one of US states for compilation into a handmade book. They are allowed to use any resources before refining as a finished product for grade.

My job today as a roving sub ended in a 5th grade class where one student was designing, in pencil, the title and illustrations for the front cover of his book. I noticed an error and being a helpful substitute teacher that I am, suggested that he recheck the spelling of “Noth Dakota”.

I’m almost positive he was kidding when he showed me the corrected title: “Moth Dakota”

“YOU are going to sub for 8th grade ART?”
Friends who know me are well aware that I know very little about art or how to “teach” it. They were curious why I took the assignment. Short answer: “Because they called me.”

“What are you going to do?”
I won’t know until I get there. Like all subbing assignments, I don’t really know what’s waiting for me until I get to the classroom to read and figure out what’s on the lesson plan before the first period students hit the door.

“What if there isn’t a lesson plan?”
I’m screwed! Fortunately, that didn’t happen today.

Lesson plan:

1. Take roll
2. Show video of a famous artist I’ve never heard of.
3. Pass out worksheets about the famous artist I’ve never heard of and have them complete it in class.
4. …and repeat (for the next 4 periods)

In the middle of those “working” intervals, I got a 50 minute “planning period” which didn’t have any planning, followed immediately by a 10 minute “break period”. Add to that, a half hour lunch around noon and my day is complete.

Of course it helps if the students are mature enough not to explode into all out party mode when a substitute is in for the regular teacher. So far I’ve lucked out three times in a row for this year.

…I just jinxed myself, didn’t I

This isn't true for most schools, but every school year there seems to be at least one that is...



(HT to Darren for the find)

This year’s restriction by the school district not allowing teachers to request favored subs in their classrooms has had the unintended benefit that I’ve had a few more calls from the middle school. My personal inclination and schedule didn’t mesh with my taking any last minute, middle school P.E. assignments, but when an 8th grade science assignment came up, I accepted.

While I haven’t encountered any of these kids for the last two or three years, still about a third of them in each of the five periods remembered me from their elementary school days.

The teacher had seating charts with photos for each period that made taking roll five times a lot quicker than wasting time calling names. It was a bit social (ie: noisy conversation) at times but as long as they did the work I didn’t mind.

It was a good day and I realized that teaching the same subject to five different classes is much easier than teaching five different subjects to one class. By the time the 2nd or 3rd period shows up, I have ready answers to anticipated questions from the previous periods.

Switching topics, my wife and I have attended the same small church for more than 25yrs. In that time we’ve observed many changes. It is most noticeable in the changes the kids go through from infant to functioning adult.

Evidently one of these, now a 7th grade teenager, attends the middle school I was at last Friday. As she didn’t attend any of the elementary schools that I work, she only recognizes me in the context of “church”. When her mother approached me Sunday morning to ask if I was at her daughter's school on Friday, I was amused.

Her daughter had come home and related that she thought she had seen someone who looked exactly like me walking across the campus on the way to the teachers' lounge. She wasn’t sure if it was me or not. And if it was, why would I be at her school on a Friday afternoon?

I guess it can be a bit freaky to encounter someone “out of context” on a weekday.

I can't even imagine how this COULD have happened...TWICE!
(At least it wasn't a substitute teacher in the class..)

"...A teacher at an East Oakland elementary school has been placed on leave as officials investigate accusations that two of his second-grade students engaged in oral sex in the classroom and that some ran around without their clothes on, a district spokesman said Friday."

I really, really like black licorice. Not the sweet “black vine, movie theater” stuff but the good, strong anise extract stuff. Our Finnish exchange student from 20yrs ago still sends me 3-4 packages of the stuff for Christmas every year. But like too much of any good thing all at once, it can make you ill. That’s why I try to apportion my stash as long as possible to thoroughly enjoy it.

Kindergarten is like that. Good in small doses but not so much all at once.

I turned down five of seven Kinder assignments so far this month. One assignment I turned down twice the same night as I guess the subsystem didn’t find any takers the first time around.

I’ve come to believe that Kindergarten teachers are a special breed. They have to have that slow, calm, special “voice” when speaking with Kinders. And to keep it every day in class is truly amazing.

It’s a bit startling to hear Kinder teachers outside the classroom using an adult voice to realize they are great actresses to stay “in character” while in the classroom and can switch it off to become “real people” outside.

It’s really impressive to witness.

1. 5432 – 2345 = 3087
2. 8730 – 0378 = 8352
3. 8532 – 2358 = 6174
4. 7641 - 1467 = 6174

(Hat tip to Darren at http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/2011/01/how-would-someone-figure-this-out.html)

Recently, I have been receiving inquiries from others to "guest post" here. I haven't previously entertained any interest in accepting these proposals until now. Since the year is starting off kinda slow and I personally don't have anything worthwhile to say yet this new year, let me introduce you to Sarah Casey who researched and wrote the following first ever "guest post" for JAST:

Use the comments section or the "Reactions" check boxes at the bottom to record your feedback. If this goes well, I may entertain the idea of other "guest bloggers" in the future.

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The State of Substitute Teaching In The United States

If you can read this, thank a substitute teacher, if you can find one. Substitute teaching is one of those thankless jobs that require a huge amount of patience be on call and ready to go when needed. It is also a job that can be very rewarding and allows people who love to teach an opportunity to do so, once you can figure out the requirements your state and school district are looking for in a substitute.

The requirements to be a substitute teacher vary greatly from state to state, and school district to school district. The one requirement that the majority of states do agree on is that substitutes must have a high school diploma or a GED.

Substitute Teacher Shortages

According to a study by the Substitute Teaching Institute at Utah State University, substitute teachers are in over 270,000 classrooms in this country every day. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the need for regular teachers will increase about 12% by 2016, as the need for regular teachers increase, so will the need for substitutes. As most states are struggling with full time teacher shortages, the substitute shortage is even worse. Some of the ways different states and/or school districts are trying to deal with these shortages is by offering higher wages and even offering substitutes the same benefits as regular teachers, once they work so many hours for the same school district. Some are even creating permanent substitute positions, allowing their substitutes to work in other administrative areas when they are not needed in the classroom. With the budget shortages that many states are facing today, however, these options are limited.

The main reason for the shortages of substitute teachers, surprisingly, does not include wages, although in some districts this can be a factor. According to the website, PayScale.com, substitute teachers make an hourly rate of 9.84 to 15.16 an hour, depending on their level of education, experience, skills and the amount of hours worked. Poor training and very little respect by school personnel and students are two major reasons substitutes cite for deciding not to go back to teach in certain districts.

Almost all school districts do provide training to substitutes, but not enough, which is one area many experts agree needs to be improved on if they want to find and keep quality substitutes. Training not only builds confidence, it gives the substitute a blueprint of what the school district expects from them as teachers. It helps them in classroom management techniques and empowers them to step into the classroom armed with what is required of them, as well as what is required of the students. Finally, many substitutes have complained about the quality, or lack thereof, of the lesson plans left for them by the absent teachers. Too many times the substitute ends up being just a babysitter because sufficient information is not given to teach the students effectively, and that is not what they signed up for when accepting the job.

Because there are so many shortages in every state for substitute teachers, many school districts have been forced to loosen up their policies and requirements for substitutes. Some districts have even resorted to pulling their special education teachers into the regular classes to sub. This means that the special education classes for that day may have to be cancelled, and the parents of these special needs children become extremely upset, and rightly so, that their children are put on the back burner during these times. Many times students are herded into the cafeteria or auditorium and given an impromptu study hall or movie viewing because no substitute could be found.

Requirements for Substitute Teaching

As far as what type of education and/or training a person is expected to have in order to even qualify to become a substitute teacher, one would expect that they at least have a two-year college education. However, not all states make that a requirement.

States that do require two to four years of college, some of which also require at least some of the credit hours be in education, are Arizona, California, Connecticut, Delaware, D.C., Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa (a regular teaching certificate is required), Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska (must be a BA in Education), Nevada, New Jersey, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Washington State, West Virginia, Wisconsin (a regular teaching certificate is required) and Wyoming,

Some of these states, however, will waive the college requirements if the person has appropriate work experience, or, in emergencies, for short-term assignments. Many states are governed by districts, some of which require college, others, different types of certifications, while still others, background checks and fingerprints.

Even with the issues surrounding what it takes to be a substitute, it can be a very rewarding, part-time career, and can help those who want to teach full time get a step closer. There are many good online schools for teaching that a substitute teacher, who may want to teach full time one day, can check out. States are constantly looking for better ways to fill their substitute coffers with quality people, and the demand is high, so the outlook is good for anyone seeking this career.
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Bio: Sarah Casey is a lover of education and is always educating herself! In her free time she is a freelance writer for onlineschools.org

The Christmas break is over and a new year begins. Well…should begin as soon as I get that first call for 2011.

One of the last classes I covered before the Christmas break was a 5th grade class. Of course the lesson planned, end of day video listed wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Fortunately, I had in my bag a DVD video of the new movie Flipped that the publicist for the production company sent me as a freebie for mentioning the movie in a previous blog post. Since I hadn’t viewed the movie beforehand, I consulted with another grade level teacher to see if it would be ok to use as a substitute. She really liked the idea as they had just finished reading the book as a class a couple weeks earlier.

Just before lunch, I told the class that I had a movie that they hadn’t seen before (it was released a few weeks before) and when I told them the title, they were excited…well most of them anyway. One girl told me that she had already seen it on Netflix, PPV or some such like video service. Fortunately, she was the only one to have seen it as the rest were really interested to see the movie adaptation of a book they knew so well.

Normally, classroom movies are hit and miss attention wise. I don’t require students to actually watch the movies as long as they aren’t disruptive for those who do. This was the first movie I’ve shown in class where almost everyone was engrossed in the story line. Unfortunately, the movie had about 15 minutes left when the end of school bell rang. But that didn’t result in the expected mass exodus of kids storming the exit before the movie ended. Most of them lingered as long as possible until about a third of the class who didn’t have a bus to catch or parents waiting, stayed to see the end.

From the first and single viewing with the class, I guess I’d have to call the movie a “hit”!

Have a safe and sober drive home for the New Year 2011!!

Did you make your New Year's Impositions List yet?

The first half of school year 2010/11 is done and I’m surprised to report that my initial reservations about the unavailability of work didn’t come to pass. The frequency of assignments is about the same but I’m pretty much working at only 20% of the schools in the district instead of the usual 85%.

I wasn’t expecting to work the last Friday before Christmas break so the call from one of the two elusive 15% of schools I never get calls from was a double surprise. I of course took the 6th grade assignment.

The two schools that represent the “elusive 15%” are two of the higher performing schools in the district (API scores of 950+ each). They rarely have teacher absences and when they do occur, I’ve been told, they arrange for their own preferred substitutes. They rarely had to access the “random substitute” line.

Since the office rarely had to deal with the substitute line, they never instituted a priority list of preferred substitutes for the system to work from when the list of fired teachers was exhausted. I was lucky enough to be the random pick that day.

In the classroom, the teacher’s lesson plan was addressed to “Dana”. That told me that either this school HAD found away to get around the new calling rules or that “Dana” was a RIF’ed teacher that she had somehow arranged to have work for her today.

While going over the lesson plan, the teacher in the room across the hall walked in to introduce herself and ask if I had everything I needed. It took a few seconds to realize that we both recognized each other.

“Hey, Aren’t you the guy the kids call Mr. Homework?”

I had worked for her a number of times when she was at a different school several years ago. After exchanging several brief exchanges of “what happened to old acquaintances”, she left to get ready for her own class.

The rest of my day went well, the kids were well behaved, and their teacher came in just before the end of day bell. She introduced herself to me and asked how my day went. I handed her my end of day report which she read silently while the kids watched intently.

“Well, according this report it looks like you guys did really well! Merry Christmas and you’re dismissed!”

As I was leaving, the teacher I met before school today came over to ask how things went. I told her it went well. She told me that she had gone and talked with the office secretary to put in a good for me and get me placed on their priority substitute short list.

Does this mean I’ll get more work at this school the 2nd half of the school year and possibility next? Only time will tell if the unintended consequence of the limited access rule to assignments will turn into an unintended benefit for me next year.

I hope it does.

December 19, 2010

It’s Christmas time again? Where did 2010 go? Our 2010 was the year for changes.

Claudette and I went with some friends on vacation to Kauai, Hawaii. I always like upgrades on vacation but not this time.

Claudette promptly sprained her foot within 20min after checking into the hotel. The next day, we spent some time at the urgent care facility on the island to have the “sprain” upgraded to a “fracture” which pretty much kept her out of the water for the duration. It’s hard to swim strapped into a toes to knee length black “walking” boot. This didn’t prevent the guys from doing a little deep sea fishing which provided us with a few nights of BBQ’d Ahi and Ono while the women relaxed in the warm Hawaiian sun.

Upon our return, Kaiser Hospital re-examined the foot and upgraded the black walking boot to a solid purple cast for a month. It seems the fracture is now upgraded to a special kind of fracture that required a cast, then a period back in the boot and finally back to shoes once again.

Now, personally, I’m not fond of change. As long as something still works, why change? That argument works great for staying with the same partner for 40yrs but doesn’t work so well for not getting new carpet just because it’s outdated. It’s ONLY 35yrs old! Sure it’s rich rust color is more like faded orange now, but it still covered the plywood floors and prevented splinters in my feet, right?

Well, the carpet WAS pulled up in a few places, repaired in a few others with my trusty staple gun and, as we discovered later, a habitat for a few termites near an outer wall in one of the bedrooms.

Claudette wins. We NEED new carpet. But first we need to deal with the termite problem. But before we can deal with the termites, the termite inspector informed us that we needed to get rid of, what he thought was, opossums living under our house. 

Just when I thought he was done, he informs us: “While you’re at it you should block the access vents with screening in the attic because birds have been nesting in the insulation up there”. Evidentially, bird waste in the insulation calls for removal and installing new insulation. 

So…animals under the house and birds in the attic banned and screened, contaminated insulation replaced, termites killed, new carpet installed, Claudette on two feet again.

All done, right?

Claudette: “You know…the old, crappy baseboard looks pretty shabby against the new carpet and wouldn’t some crown molding in the bedrooms look REALLY nice with new drapes?…”

Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!

…Mark & Claudette

I think I could have used this feature a few years ago in a 2nd grade bilingual Spanish class...

Hello! My name is Mr. Homework.

Substitute teachers are encouraged (if not required) to leave an “end of day” status report to let the teacher know how the little darlings behaved (or not). One of the first things I announce at the beginning of the day is that I do make notes about how the day is going and that…I make a list.

“Kinda like Santa does with his ‘Naughty and Nice’ list and you don’t want to be on my ‘naughty’ list at the end of the day”, I warn.

As it turns out, I discovered that I’m on a few lists also:

Is climate change more about the science or...politics?  You decide.

To read more click here:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/12/08/cop16-attendees-fall-for-the-old-dihydrogen-monoxide-petition-as-well-as-signing-up-to-cripple-the-u-s-economy/

Everyone performs better at an assignment IF they like doing it. Getting kids interested in reading and writing to enjoy doing it is no exception.

I remember one part of the CBEST qualifying exam for my substitute teaching credential was to submit a timed writing sample about my thoughts of “cheating by high school students on exams”. Needless to say my rambling, full page, written response could have been better said in three short sentences: “I’m not for it. Cheating is bad. Don’t do it".

I don’t like writing under deadline pressures or on subjects I know nothing about. I remember an essay in college that I failed miserably because I could not “imagine a day in the life of an Eskimo boy”

With that digression introduction, I was working in a 4th grade classroom when the next item in the lesson plan listed: If they finish early and have extra time they are allowed to read a book or do "PenPals".

“PenPal time” is writing a letter to anyone in class about anything, stuffing it in a large mailing envelope, addressing it and putting it in the outgoing mailbox. This teacher had one of those huge rural route roadside sized mailboxes on a table in the front of the classroom. Periodically, when the “Mailman of the Week” student noticed the red flag up on the mailbox, he could then deliver the mail to the Pen Pal addressee.

Even I got mail:


I assume that spelling, punctuation and grammar will follow as the year progresses. I’m sure Sophia will learn to spell “substitute” before she gets to 6th grade…

Ever wonder what would happen if Santa ever needed a substitute for the big night? Well it might go something like this:

From: The Blog O'Cheese

The following is an excerpt from a speech by a She-Claus mom to the elves just before she embarks on her Christmas Eve night - delivering toys to the good girls and boys around the world. 

"Attention Elves! [Echo: Elves... elves... elves]  I SAID, ATTENTION ELVES!

I am NOT going to ask you to be quiet AGAIN!  Do you understand?

First things first: Do these flannel pants with white cotton cuffs and added padding in the buttocks make my butt look big?

Nevermind, nevermind. Don't answer that.  Now, let's get down to business...."

Click the link->  to read the rest 

I was working in a 4th grade classroom and in the middle of a lesson when a tiny Asian boy came up and asked to go to the office.

Me: Can it wait till recess?
Kid: No, I stapled myself.

Now, I’ve had enough experience with almost all kinds of excuses to take a little walk to the office for every known “imagined trauma” known to kid-kind. This sounded like the “I got a paper cut, call the EMTs!!” variety.

I wasn’t going to annoy the office because of a minor “injury” like this. A cursory look showed it wasn’t even bleeding. Though one end of the staple was still sticking in the end of his finger, I was sure that simply pulling it out wouldn’t hurt and he’d be fine.

Me: Why are we playing with the stapler? We are supposed to be reading a story.
Kid: I thought it was broken and tried to fix it. I need to go to the office.

The kid is starting to appear a bit pale as I took a closer look at the injury. He had not only stuck himself in the finger with a staple, he had managed to put the staple completely through and out the other fleshy side of his finger! The boy is quivering and looking a bit green. I think he’s gonna faint on me!

Me: Go! Go now and take a friend with you.

The last thing I wanted was for the kid to faint half way to the office. I called to let them know the situation and that I had sent someone to go with him to make sure he got there.

At recess, I received an update call from the office letting me know that the staple was successfully removed by the school nurse and that the grandparents were coming to take him home. The grandparents wanted also to stop by the classroom to “inspect the stapler”. I could only wonder what answers to questions they might have from examining a common kid sized stapler.

My guess was the grandparents actually wanted to “inspect” the incompetent substitute teacher that would let their grandson become mutilated by negligently operating dangerous industrial office machinery.

So, after inspecting the kid sized finger sticker, the grandparents and the boy had a short discussion in native dialect. The boy didn’t want to go home and convinced his grandparents he could stay the rest or the day.

Tomorrow’s lesson: “Electric outlets and metal paperclips – a no, no!”

Here's wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving with lots of good stuff to eat and be thankful for!

We're partaking in the traditional dinner at the grand-kids house in town. For me I'm just thankful that I won't have to repeat the hunt for turkey parts from a few years ago. My job yesterday was simply obtain the last few ingredients for the apple pie that Claudette is preparing as I write this. The only hard thing to locate yesterday was a parking spot at the local Costco.

 P.S. I can say without reservation that Claudette makes THE BEST apple pie ever and that's not bragging. It's just a fact.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie had a face to face discussion with the head of the Bergen County Education Association about a teachers union’s memo that included a "prayer" that suggested it was time for him to die.

Christie's response:



Email excerpt:
“Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor.”

Tipped from Darren over at http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/

You would think that an average college graduate with a BS degree in math and more than 30yrs of professional computer software programming experience, WITH an unrelated additional six years of experience substitute teaching at all elementary grades from Kinder through sixth grades would be able to handle any 3rd grade worksheet without too much difficulty. Yea, that was my personal misconception up until this week in a 3rd grade classroom.

The science lesson was to complete a worksheet on “The Parts of Plants” which include classifying, identifying parts of plants, what each part does and finally coloring plant pictures with crayons.

Guess which part was my downfall.

“What color is fuchsia?” the boy in a Raiders t-shirt asked. I didn’t have a clue. In fact I thought fuchsia WAS a flower, not a color.

“Uhhh, let me see the worksheet” is my standard stalling tactic when they have me stumped. The sheet pictured four plants and a numbered coded color diagram to indicate what colors to use.

Red, green, blue, peach and even red-orange are pretty straightforward. But there at #11 was “Fuchsia”. I was hoping to get a clue when I see that the plant part for #11 was the flower part and not something easy like the bark of a tree (brown). I sent him off to ask some buddies in class to see what color THEY might decide to use.

Next came two girls lugging a huge plastic bin with what looked like a couple thousand loose crayons asking: “What color crayon is cerulean? We can’t find it in here.” I sent them off as well. The kids eventually DID find the “cerulean” and “fuchsia” crayons in the big box.

I used them to mark a copy of the worksheet (below) to bring home and ask if this was supposed to be common knowledge among the average, intelligent, unbiased adult female that happens to be married to clueless male.

Turns out, it IS!

What do kids willingly read in school? The Harry Potter books were the top contender a couple years back before the shift toward vampires and werewolf tales. I don’t know if the movies enticed the kids to read books or whether the books made the movies blockbuster hits with kids.

One other book I have frequently seen in the classroom since I started substitute teaching six years ago is titled “Flipped”. It’s a story about a young boy who moves into a new neighborhood and meets a local girl. The book alternates between parallel story lines of the two main characters as they get to know each other in a he-said she-said style.

Will the book make a good movie? Check it out…

That’s what a lot of substitute teachers call it. What is it? It’s the sum total of everything a substitute teacher thinks he/she might need to teach an unplanned lesson for the day. It manifests itself in various forms. I’ve seen the “Bag of Tricks” in the form of backpacks, canvas tote bags, duffle bags, briefcases, small suitcases and even a small rolling filing system.

My bag of tricks is more a survival backpack. It’s actually a “manly” diaper bag that my daughter let me have at her garage sale last year. This is my third after two previous bags wore out.

My bag contains a three ring binder, clipboard, pens, pencils, markers, notepad paper, day timer, calculator, condensed dictionary, some educational nature videos, basic first aid supplies, sunglasses, baseball cap and a whistle.

The binder contains blank report forms, maps of all the schools in the district, lists of completed and future assignments, and the current year substitute handbook and any other paperwork worth carrying around.

Except for the 2-3 nature videos I carry, I do not carry emergency substitute lesson plans, assignments, prize bribes, candy or fun busywork activities as some other subs do. If I did, I would have to drag a filing cabinet around to be that prepared. If I have to improvise an assignment, I try to make do with what I find in the classroom.

There is nothing of value in my bag. No phone, no iPad, or expensive electronics of any kind. No wallet, no keys or anything that would be of any value. At least that’s what I thought up until the day my bag went missing.

It was one of those “roving substitute” assignment days where I have 20-40 minute assignments in five or six different classes. After visiting the first four classes, I knocked on the door my next assignment. There was no one in the unlocked classroom. Since the classroom was unlocked and empty, the teacher and the kids must be at recess or getting books in the library.

I didn’t want to lug my bag all over campus looking for my lost class, so I set my backpack on the teachers chair in the back of the room and decided to first try the library located one building over.

The library was where I found the class. The teacher handed over the class and went to her meeting. My “assignment” for her was to finish library checkout and take the class back to the classroom for a math lesson on fractions. Upon the teacher’s return after the meeting and I went to get my backpack to leave.

My blue backpack wasn’t where I left it.

I then realized I hadn’t recalled seeing it since I returned from the library. I searched the entire room until the office called to tell me I was late for the next teacher conference. I told them I was missing a backpack.

Between my final two assignments, the principal asked for a description of my backpack and if it contained anything of value. A veteran in situations like this, he said he would have the janitor check the trash cans, roof areas of the school and ask the teachers to be on the lookout for it. Ten minutes before the final bell, there the office broadcast a “check your room for a missing blue backpack” announcement.

I left the office depressed and disappointed walking out to the parking lot sans backpack. I was wondering how much effort it was going to take to replace my “stuff of no value” when the school secretary called me back to the office. A teacher called to say that she found a black backpack in her room after all the kids had left. She was bringing it to the office to see if it was mine. It’s the wrong color but I waited until she arrived…with MY backpack!

She said she returned from her recess break and found the backpack in her desk chair. She thought one of the students left it there and moved it to the pile of student packs near the coat lockers. When the class let out, it was the only one left. I searched the bag and found nothing missing. It turns out that her unlocked classroom is next door to the one I substituted for today.

I realized then that I must have walked into the “wrong" classroom this afternoon, left my bag, went to the library and returned with the kids to the “right” classroom. I also realized that I didn’t know what color the backpack I’ve been carrying around for more than a year actually is. It’s the interior vinyl lining of my bag that’s “baby blue”.

I left that day feeling relived and a bit stupid at the same time. I also realized that I do care about my “worthless stuff” more than I thought I did.