I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but being around lots of kids in a classroom sometimes seems to fine tune the subconscious brain’s alert system into high gear at the weirdest times.
In the last class of 2nd graders I taught this week, I thought I heard:
“Lemon Yellow Pee…”
ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ALERT, LOCATE, ISOLATE…until the small sing song voice continued:
“…Q, R, S, T, U, V…”
Emergency alert canceled…
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Final Tally: 2010-2011
No calls on this final day before the summer break. My last day was yesterday for a late morning, half day 2nd grade assignment to close out the school year.
Final totals:
This year 2010/2011 I worked 87 of 180 days in the classroom.
Last year 2009/2010 I worked 80 of 180 days in the classroom.
It seems that my doubts about not having as much work this year because of teacher layoffs and the changes to the resulting assignment rules did not come about.
Now, I DID add subbing at the middle schools as part of “willing to do” preferences. It turns out that it isn’t all that different from elementary and in some cases, much easier.
Final totals:
This year 2010/2011 I worked 87 of 180 days in the classroom.
Last year 2009/2010 I worked 80 of 180 days in the classroom.
It seems that my doubts about not having as much work this year because of teacher layoffs and the changes to the resulting assignment rules did not come about.
Now, I DID add subbing at the middle schools as part of “willing to do” preferences. It turns out that it isn’t all that different from elementary and in some cases, much easier.
Monday, June 06, 2011
Reindeer Games …
The phone rang at oh-six-dark-hundred this morning and that could only mean one thing.
Fumbling in the dark, I answered and accepted a half day subbing assignment starting at noon, then happily went back to sleep until 09:00am.
My three hour assignment commenced at the start of lunch for the 3rd grade class. That meant a quiet 40min paperback reading period for me. A book to read in any spare moment is one of the subbing essentials I carry in my backpack.
The lesson plan for the remainder of the day was very light. With only four days until summer break the day was shortened even more by a final hour break for the whole school to attend the annual, end of year “Teachers .vs. 6th Graders” kick-ball/baseball game.
That cut my “in class” assignment to little more than a single hour. What could be easier?
At the appointed time, I had the class pick up their chairs and haul them out to the ball field as every other class was doing. My class quickly disappeared into the mix of other classes lining the field. The teachers not playing in the game were monitoring the boundaries to thwart anyone from wandering off school property or onto the playing field during the game.
The teams gathered on the sidelines and it was immediately apparent that something was wrong. There were only seven teachers on the field. The teachers were outnumbered by a factor of almost 4-to-1.
There was an announcement calling for one or two more teacher “volunteers” to play that went unheeded. All the male staff, including the principal, were already on the field. Some of last year’s female players were on the sidelines in various stages of pregnancy or injury.
Now, substitute teachers are kinda like Rudolphs. We usually aren’t invited to play in any reindeer games with the rest of the herd and I’m happy with that arrangement. I have about 20yrs “advantage” over the oldest of the teacher players. Sitting on the sidelines enjoying the warm sun is AOK by me. But, it wasn’t to be.
I was gently coerced and eventually agreed to play the catcher position to minimize any “running” participation in the game. The teachers then drafted one of the sixth graders to act as pitcher and fill out the rest of the team.
The rules of the game seemed to be a bit free form and biased in favor of 6th graders. The rules are:
Three outs and done for the teachers. The 6th graders get one pass through all of their players and at least three outs before switching sides.
Teachers had eight playing positions including me as catcher.
The 6th graders had twelve outfielders (four in each field), two on every infield position and the rest sprinkled throughout the rest of field.
The game was tied nine each when time was almost gone but the teachers had “last ups”. The principle suggested ending it in a draw, but the guy teachers overruled him to play out the rest of the inning.
Teachers prevailed -- 10-9.
Fumbling in the dark, I answered and accepted a half day subbing assignment starting at noon, then happily went back to sleep until 09:00am.
My three hour assignment commenced at the start of lunch for the 3rd grade class. That meant a quiet 40min paperback reading period for me. A book to read in any spare moment is one of the subbing essentials I carry in my backpack.
The lesson plan for the remainder of the day was very light. With only four days until summer break the day was shortened even more by a final hour break for the whole school to attend the annual, end of year “Teachers .vs. 6th Graders” kick-ball/baseball game.
That cut my “in class” assignment to little more than a single hour. What could be easier?
At the appointed time, I had the class pick up their chairs and haul them out to the ball field as every other class was doing. My class quickly disappeared into the mix of other classes lining the field. The teachers not playing in the game were monitoring the boundaries to thwart anyone from wandering off school property or onto the playing field during the game.
The teams gathered on the sidelines and it was immediately apparent that something was wrong. There were only seven teachers on the field. The teachers were outnumbered by a factor of almost 4-to-1.
There was an announcement calling for one or two more teacher “volunteers” to play that went unheeded. All the male staff, including the principal, were already on the field. Some of last year’s female players were on the sidelines in various stages of pregnancy or injury.
Now, substitute teachers are kinda like Rudolphs. We usually aren’t invited to play in any reindeer games with the rest of the herd and I’m happy with that arrangement. I have about 20yrs “advantage” over the oldest of the teacher players. Sitting on the sidelines enjoying the warm sun is AOK by me. But, it wasn’t to be.
I was gently coerced and eventually agreed to play the catcher position to minimize any “running” participation in the game. The teachers then drafted one of the sixth graders to act as pitcher and fill out the rest of the team.
The rules of the game seemed to be a bit free form and biased in favor of 6th graders. The rules are:
Three outs and done for the teachers. The 6th graders get one pass through all of their players and at least three outs before switching sides.
Teachers had eight playing positions including me as catcher.
The 6th graders had twelve outfielders (four in each field), two on every infield position and the rest sprinkled throughout the rest of field.
The game was tied nine each when time was almost gone but the teachers had “last ups”. The principle suggested ending it in a draw, but the guy teachers overruled him to play out the rest of the inning.
Teachers prevailed -- 10-9.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Winding Down...
After a week off for a short vacation in Las Vegas and only nine school days left in the school term before summer, I was doubtful about getting much work in the classroom.
I was wrong.
I missed three calls Tuesday night (I’m not at home Tues nights before 9:00pm) but did get a history class assignment at the middle school for Wednesday and two 1st/2nd grade combo-classes for the rest of the week.
The “history” assignment was pretty much a do nothing day. It seemed like half of the entire school was gone on the “Honors Fun Field Trip” to the beach. I was told that “honors” is considered grades “B” or better.
The left behinders were assigned to write a class/teacher evaluation followed by movies for the remainder of the period. The only thing “history related” about the movies was when they were last viewed in theaters.
Very low stress assignment for me but pretty boring for everyone else involved.
I was wrong.
I missed three calls Tuesday night (I’m not at home Tues nights before 9:00pm) but did get a history class assignment at the middle school for Wednesday and two 1st/2nd grade combo-classes for the rest of the week.
The “history” assignment was pretty much a do nothing day. It seemed like half of the entire school was gone on the “Honors Fun Field Trip” to the beach. I was told that “honors” is considered grades “B” or better.
The left behinders were assigned to write a class/teacher evaluation followed by movies for the remainder of the period. The only thing “history related” about the movies was when they were last viewed in theaters.
Very low stress assignment for me but pretty boring for everyone else involved.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Memorial Day - Joe Convey
While on our visit to Red Rock Canyon last week, it was the flash of red on a desert background of brown and green that drew my attention. I walked out to pick up what I assumed was a bit of visitor dropped litter. The "litter" was a small red, white and blue American flag.
So it was quite by accident that I came across this memorial plaque and flag for war veteran Joseph Convey. I don't know who Joe was or how he came to be at this final resting place but I think it's fitting to share the following images on this Memorial Day - May 30, 2011
...rest in peace Joe and thanks for your service.
So it was quite by accident that I came across this memorial plaque and flag for war veteran Joseph Convey. I don't know who Joe was or how he came to be at this final resting place but I think it's fitting to share the following images on this Memorial Day - May 30, 2011
...rest in peace Joe and thanks for your service.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Differences...
I haven’t been online lately because Claudette and I drove to Las Vegas for a five night “kinda free" vacation deal.
One of the advantages of working as a substitute teacher is that I don’t have to ask for or get approval to take time off. I’m just “not available” to the calling system.
As we aren’t frequent visitors to Vegas (this trip makes twice), it’s always interesting to note differences from our usual environment.
The world didn't end as predicted the day before we got there
One of the advantages of working as a substitute teacher is that I don’t have to ask for or get approval to take time off. I’m just “not available” to the calling system.
As we aren’t frequent visitors to Vegas (this trip makes twice), it’s always interesting to note differences from our usual environment.
- Don't take any cards from strangers on the street -- especially if your wife is with you.
- Alcohol seems to impair hearing because drunk people talk loud.
- Buy tobacco stocks, there doesn't seem to be any shortage of smokers.
- I played $3 in the slots. Lost it all. Maybe it's a rip off.
- There appears to be more pawn shops per square mile than anywhere else in the country.
- People seem a lot more normal as distance from the Vegas Strip increases.
- There really IS a desert out there. Red Rock Canyon is beautiful this time of year.
- Almost everything is a dam joke at the Hoover Dam.
- Dam that bridge is high. We walked across it both ways. We had to. The eastern end is a dead end.
The world didn't end as predicted the day before we got there
Friday, May 20, 2011
Odd Sub Types...
The following is a guest blog submission from the freshmen H.S. team bloggers Phil & Ted and their take on "odd substitute teacher types" -- Mark
------------------
You walk into class. All of a sudden, you’re back outside class. You walk in again. Then the same thing happens. In the class is a teacher. It’s not your teacher. Then, you wake up, but you’re still in class. Then you wake up again [to a clock radio], and again. It turns out you’re falling off a bridge. Then you wake up again, and you realize the point of this lengthy introduction was to make fun of the movie “Inception.”
But what if you’re teacher didn’t show up for the day? What if it was someone else? In that case a substitute teacher takes over. While most subs are normal, there are basically five slightly less-normal substitutes. They are detailed in this scholarly article (along with common introductions).
The Musically-Oriented Substitute Teacher
“Hello, students [Gmajor7] isn’t the world just full of [changes to a C chord] music? [Breaks into “The Hills are Alive...”][Catches self] Ooo-oooo-ooops [hits D, F#, and A on the “oops”], I forgot to take attendance! [Breaks into “My Favorite Things”].”
This substitute teacher loves music. The classic give-away is carrying an instrument case or in extreme situations, yodeling. The best way to handle this substitute is to play some popular music, which will thoroughly ruin any sense of rhythm and melody the sub possessed previously.
The Inexperienced Substitute Teacher
“Hi, it says here...introduce self...introduce self?...um, my name is Mrs. Someone-needs-to-show-me-the-
“Hello, students [Gmajor7] isn’t the world just full of [changes to a C chord] music? [Breaks into “The Hills are Alive...”][Catches self] Ooo-oooo-ooops [hits D, F#, and A on the “oops”], I forgot to take attendance! [Breaks into “My Favorite Things”].”
This substitute teacher loves music. The classic give-away is carrying an instrument case or in extreme situations, yodeling. The best way to handle this substitute is to play some popular music, which will thoroughly ruin any sense of rhythm and melody the sub possessed previously.
The Inexperienced Substitute Teacher
“Hi, it says here...introduce self...introduce self?...um, my name is Mrs. Someone-needs-to-show-me-the-
Now-please, don’t do that, I think the lights are supposed to stay attached to the ceiling (although it isn’t clear in these directions)-who wants to take attendance?”
Due to rising oil prices, some schools grab substitute teachers from their posts at the gas station (…except in Texas, where people stick a tube in the ground to fill up their car. There, schools grab inexperienced subs from college, because, after all, if they got that far, they might as well stop). Needless to say, this sub has no idea what to do, and begins to worship the teacher’s directions, which often include complicated words such as “cabinet” and “desk drawer” (unless, of course, they accidentally picked up the attendance sheet, in which case they worship Andrew Anderson, or whoever else is at the top of the list).
The Last-Minute Sub
“[Panting heavily] Hey, students [breath], sorry I’m late, there was a six-car pileup in my garage. When the helicopters tried to get the news footage, they crashed into my house, so I had to stop and save my California Condor pet, which was glued to the set in the living room watching Fox News. I didn’t get the call to come in until last month, so it was kind of last-minute.”
These subs can be identified by their tie which is suspiciously, meticulously tied in a .5673 Windsor knot (conflicting with their story of being ‘last-minute’. Clearly, they weren’t in traffic, they were stuck in front of a mirror).
The Cheerful Mentor
“Hiya, students! So glad to see your bright and shiny faces. Just for kicks and giggles, let’s be great friends! I’m supposed to take attendance. Do you guys like attendance? No? Then let’s not take attendance. What’s that, you say? Tuesday is always graffiti practice day? Let’s do it!”
Contrary to popular belief, these subs are not extremely happy. Instead, it is their extreme fear of the students that drives them to attempt to befriend the students (these are the people who attempt to respond to all of their 6,743 Facebook friends every week).
The Story-Teller
“Good morning, students. Oh, speaking of students (and good mornings), did I ever tell you about the time I was caught in a Chilean Mine? No? Well-oh, I have to take attendance first. Speaking of attendance (and first), there was this one week of my life where I got my arm caught in the toaster, seven consecutive days in a row!”
When growing up as a child, these subs had the type of parents who always listened to their child, because, after all, they were “special”. When tossed into the real world (on March 14th, 1987, for you readers keeping track), these subs naturally assumed that everyone would love to listen to them.
These are the five oddest types of substitute teachers. Remember, though, that these are the exceptions, and the substitute that's the norm is more-well, I'm not going there.
Due to rising oil prices, some schools grab substitute teachers from their posts at the gas station (…except in Texas, where people stick a tube in the ground to fill up their car. There, schools grab inexperienced subs from college, because, after all, if they got that far, they might as well stop). Needless to say, this sub has no idea what to do, and begins to worship the teacher’s directions, which often include complicated words such as “cabinet” and “desk drawer” (unless, of course, they accidentally picked up the attendance sheet, in which case they worship Andrew Anderson, or whoever else is at the top of the list).
The Last-Minute Sub
“[Panting heavily] Hey, students [breath], sorry I’m late, there was a six-car pileup in my garage. When the helicopters tried to get the news footage, they crashed into my house, so I had to stop and save my California Condor pet, which was glued to the set in the living room watching Fox News. I didn’t get the call to come in until last month, so it was kind of last-minute.”
These subs can be identified by their tie which is suspiciously, meticulously tied in a .5673 Windsor knot (conflicting with their story of being ‘last-minute’. Clearly, they weren’t in traffic, they were stuck in front of a mirror).
The Cheerful Mentor
“Hiya, students! So glad to see your bright and shiny faces. Just for kicks and giggles, let’s be great friends! I’m supposed to take attendance. Do you guys like attendance? No? Then let’s not take attendance. What’s that, you say? Tuesday is always graffiti practice day? Let’s do it!”
Contrary to popular belief, these subs are not extremely happy. Instead, it is their extreme fear of the students that drives them to attempt to befriend the students (these are the people who attempt to respond to all of their 6,743 Facebook friends every week).
The Story-Teller
“Good morning, students. Oh, speaking of students (and good mornings), did I ever tell you about the time I was caught in a Chilean Mine? No? Well-oh, I have to take attendance first. Speaking of attendance (and first), there was this one week of my life where I got my arm caught in the toaster, seven consecutive days in a row!”
When growing up as a child, these subs had the type of parents who always listened to their child, because, after all, they were “special”. When tossed into the real world (on March 14th, 1987, for you readers keeping track), these subs naturally assumed that everyone would love to listen to them.
These are the five oddest types of substitute teachers. Remember, though, that these are the exceptions, and the substitute that's the norm is more-well, I'm not going there.
Monday, May 16, 2011
A Government Offer...
I got the following notice enclosed with my tax refund...
Pardon my skepticism in taking any financial advice from an organization that's over $14 TRILLION in debt.
Might I suggest that we can eliminate all demonstrated, ineffective "commissions" like the Federal Financial Literacy and Education Commission as a minuscule step in the right direction?
(Click to enlarge)
Pardon my skepticism in taking any financial advice from an organization that's over $14 TRILLION in debt.
Might I suggest that we can eliminate all demonstrated, ineffective "commissions" like the Federal Financial Literacy and Education Commission as a minuscule step in the right direction?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Is Subbing a Popularity Contest?
I recognize other subs, if not by name, by sight fairly often after a year or two on the job. So when he entered the staff lounge at lunch time and I hadn’t seen him before, I assumed that he must be relatively new.
I invited him to share the table as we exchanged the customary first time meeting introductions. It turns out that we have very similar histories in how we both arrived in the role of a substitute teacher.
We are about the same age; both came from computer programming backgrounds and ended our careers in much the same manner. The only difference was, his was a layoff five years ago while mine was seven.
I was a bit surprised to find out, since I hadn’t seen him before, that he’s been on the subbing list for this school district for most of those five years and yet we hadn’t run across each other until now.
I originally enrolled in three districts when I first started and quickly reduced that to only a single one after a couple years. I assumed incorrectly that he must have been working other districts and just recently signed for this one.
In comparing “assignment frequency”, he was surprised to hear that I’m averaging 2-3 days a week in this single district we both share while he is having problems getting 2 days a week despite working for four separate districts. Next year, his plan is to enroll in one additional elementary district that has a reputation (not a good one) but has a higher pay rate to increase his assignment chances.
With several newer-hired subs and last year’s change in assignment procedure priorities to favor unemployed teachers, I’m surprised that I’m still working about the same frequency as normal but at fewer schools.
His parting comment: “Doesn’t seem to make any sense…must be a popularity contest.”
I invited him to share the table as we exchanged the customary first time meeting introductions. It turns out that we have very similar histories in how we both arrived in the role of a substitute teacher.
We are about the same age; both came from computer programming backgrounds and ended our careers in much the same manner. The only difference was, his was a layoff five years ago while mine was seven.
I was a bit surprised to find out, since I hadn’t seen him before, that he’s been on the subbing list for this school district for most of those five years and yet we hadn’t run across each other until now.
I originally enrolled in three districts when I first started and quickly reduced that to only a single one after a couple years. I assumed incorrectly that he must have been working other districts and just recently signed for this one.
In comparing “assignment frequency”, he was surprised to hear that I’m averaging 2-3 days a week in this single district we both share while he is having problems getting 2 days a week despite working for four separate districts. Next year, his plan is to enroll in one additional elementary district that has a reputation (not a good one) but has a higher pay rate to increase his assignment chances.
With several newer-hired subs and last year’s change in assignment procedure priorities to favor unemployed teachers, I’m surprised that I’m still working about the same frequency as normal but at fewer schools.
His parting comment: “Doesn’t seem to make any sense…must be a popularity contest.”
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I Hate Paint…
Spring break ended two weeks ago. My personal “Spring break” continued for an additional week as there were no calls.
With only 20 days left in this school year, I should take all the assignments I can get before the summer income drought begins. So of course, as fate dictates, the first call this week is…Kindergarten!
Now, normally I wouldn’t take this particular class for one reason. This Kinder teacher is the only one I’ve encountered (so far) that has “painting” as a free choice activity at the end of the day. The before class preparation is a time consuming and messy process with the added bonus that some combination of shirt, pants and/or shoes will not escape an inadvertent color makeover before the end of the day.
The tri-sided art station, containing six color pots on each side, meant replacing all 18 pots of paint and cleaning all 18 brushes while attempting to avoid ending up looking like a cast member in a production of “Joseph and the Multicolor Dreamcoat”
As per lesson plan instructions, I discarded the 18 old plastic bags of paint and grabbed the box of new plastic bags…There were only four Ziplock bags left in the box!!!
I suddenly realize that I’m at a crossroad with two choices. Do I persistently scour all the cabinets in the classroom looking for a new box of plastic bags or employ the old standard “…can’t find the pencil/book/homework in plane sight” student excuse.
There was no “free choice art” activity today.
With only 20 days left in this school year, I should take all the assignments I can get before the summer income drought begins. So of course, as fate dictates, the first call this week is…Kindergarten!
Now, normally I wouldn’t take this particular class for one reason. This Kinder teacher is the only one I’ve encountered (so far) that has “painting” as a free choice activity at the end of the day. The before class preparation is a time consuming and messy process with the added bonus that some combination of shirt, pants and/or shoes will not escape an inadvertent color makeover before the end of the day.
The tri-sided art station, containing six color pots on each side, meant replacing all 18 pots of paint and cleaning all 18 brushes while attempting to avoid ending up looking like a cast member in a production of “Joseph and the Multicolor Dreamcoat”
As per lesson plan instructions, I discarded the 18 old plastic bags of paint and grabbed the box of new plastic bags…There were only four Ziplock bags left in the box!!!
I suddenly realize that I’m at a crossroad with two choices. Do I persistently scour all the cabinets in the classroom looking for a new box of plastic bags or employ the old standard “…can’t find the pencil/book/homework in plane sight” student excuse.
There was no “free choice art” activity today.
Monday, May 09, 2011
HS Intern Interview...
From my online interview questions for the high school tag team bloggers Phil & Ted
1) At what point in your academic (pre-academic?) career did you realize that you had a talent for writing?
2) Do you write for any other media other than the blog? (School newspaper, English composition class, paid essay-writing services for fellow students, wall graffiti...)
3) Why blogging? Class assignment, experimentation, fame, fortune, just for fun...?
4) Any goals to turn this into a future career and if so, what area?
5) (Just curious...) How are your grades in the other non-literary subjects?
6) Any questions you might have for me?
From me:
...and so my life as "Just a Substitute Teacher" was born.
7) ...and finally, is there really a "Ted"? If so, his writing style is indistinguishable from yours. Very suspicious.
8) Is there anything Ted would like to contribute to the interview or would he rather stay the silent partner?
1) At what point in your academic (pre-academic?) career did you realize that you had a talent for writing?
While I’d love to capitalize on the “pre-academic” part and say that I actually wrote a few pieces while I was still in the womb, I don’t think you would believe me. Basically, I’d have to say that I started to seriously develop my writing due to my fourth grade teacher. Then, in seventh grade, I had a very funny English teacher, so I began writing humorous pieces. Recently, as a high school freshman, I started publicizing my humor writings in many ways, and was told that my writing, in terms of amusement, was just below watching a cat chase a laser pointer (so, of course, I started a blog). I suppose some of you would call this a talent, but for all I know I can blame both this and my bad teeth on genetics.
2) Do you write for any other media other than the blog? (School newspaper, English composition class, paid essay-writing services for fellow students, wall graffiti...)
Yes, there is a portion of the US federal tax dollars that is allotted to professional graffiti artists, and I think I have really found a niche in train boxcars. Ha ha, not really. So far, I’ve only written for my English class, speeches, my school’s annual literary magazine, and my blog. I would love to write for many other venues, such as my school paper, community paper, and marketing venues (such as advertisements. Something like, “This product has been recommended by your doctor/dentist/favorite celebrity, and is everything you need in life [insert guy, talking fast, with legal disclaimer] except for the various upgrades and other products we sell”).
3) Why blogging? Class assignment, experimentation, fame, fortune, just for fun...?
Well, one of my various classes used a blog, and when I participated, I thought, “Wait, this is online? So, like, anybody could read this? Like, even the life forms that may or may not exist on Mars could read this (assuming that they have a cafe with free wi-fi)? That’s horrible! We must have totally ruined our galactic reputation!” So, naturally, I set out to remedy this (using the principle that too much of a bad thing will eventually become a good thing). It’s an enjoyable experiment, because it provides readers for my writings and uses all sorts of technological skills. I’d love the fame and fortune, but unless the aliens are controlling our minds and don’t mind being the butt of jokes, I don’t think that is too likely at this point (except for, “Alien spaceship descends, fries teenage blogger, and leaves!”).
4) Any goals to turn this into a future career and if so, what area?
I have no definite goals for my career as of yet (aside from not being a technical writer, but, as you, Kauaimark, pointed out, the pay is good), but I would certainly enjoy making humor writing, or another aspect of original humor, a career (such as comedian, author, or politician. You know, “I promise to fix the federal deficit,”-what a knee-slapper).
5) (Just curious...) How are your grades in the other non-literary subjects?
Well, I’m not sure if I should tell you this, but my school adopted a system where all of the grades start with an A: Amazing, Above average, Almost above average, Average, A bit below average, A fair amount below average, and Are you joking?
Seriously, though, I have a 4.0, and I’m in some pretty difficult classes (such as: P.E., DA (department assistant or district attorney, I forget which), and lunch).
6) Any questions you might have for me?
Well, I noticed you started blogging way back in 2004. How old ar-I mean, what got you to start blogging, and why/how have you kept it going for so long? On a different subject, what are three things I absolutely have to do before I leave high school?
From me:
Well the exact number isn't important but there are enough clues in my blog to guess that I'm older than your parents but probably younger than your grandparents.
When I got married (to my H.S. girlfriend, BTW) after graduating college, I started a handwritten journal of our life together. I think the journal lasted a couple weeks and forgotten after a couple months. Too many other things happening with life, work, kid on the way, etc.
Fast forward 30 or so years and I received an invitation to try out something called "Blogger". At the time I was just checking what "blogging" was. It's turns out that "online journal" was an apt description. My original attempt was to revive the personal journal concept when life happened again and I wandered into a totally alien career change.
When I got married (to my H.S. girlfriend, BTW) after graduating college, I started a handwritten journal of our life together. I think the journal lasted a couple weeks and forgotten after a couple months. Too many other things happening with life, work, kid on the way, etc.
Fast forward 30 or so years and I received an invitation to try out something called "Blogger". At the time I was just checking what "blogging" was. It's turns out that "online journal" was an apt description. My original attempt was to revive the personal journal concept when life happened again and I wandered into a totally alien career change.
...and so my life as "Just a Substitute Teacher" was born.
On a different subject, what are three things I absolutely have to do before I leave high school?
1) If you haven't already, learn how to use credit cards responsibly. If you can't pay the balance(s) at the end of the month, don't use the any credit cards until one month after you've repaid all the balances in full. Pay with cash or go without. It will save you loads of grief in the future. Trust me!
2) Realize that your parents are probably smarter than you think they are. Don't think you can't ask for and get good advice.
3) Everything else should be pretty well covered by #1 & #2
7) ...and finally, is there really a "Ted"? If so, his writing style is indistinguishable from yours. Very suspicious.
Yes, there really is a Ted. I, Phil, run the technical aspects of the blog, but Ted is a great humor writer that I knew of from school, so I brought him to the blog, and, rather than creating another blogger account and author, simply added his name to mine to keep things simple. Normally, I would have entertained your theory, but I could come up with no motive for taking on two pseudonyms. It’s hard enough remembering that have to sign comments and e-mails as Phil, and I’m sure I’d mess up if I had a third name to keep track of.
8) Is there anything Ted would like to contribute to the interview or would he rather stay the silent partner?
Hello world. It is I, Ted. I exist, and stuff…Well, I considered ending it right there, but I guess I have a little more to say. My story ismuch the same as Phil’s. I really began to enjoy writing during elementary school.
Additionally, I have always had a hunger for some good humor (I mean, those guys on C-SPAN are the best comediansaround. They can keep me entertained all day). Soon, I realized thatif you mix writing with a little humor, you get something that people(or at least toddlers, family dogs, vegetables, etc.) like to read.Therefore, I thought Phil had a great idea when he mentioned creatinga humorous blog about high school. So I joined in as a co-writer, and,since then, it has been my goal to write deeply philosophical pieces regarding the important issues of high school life. However, I do not quite have Phil’s prioritization skills nor ability to write substantial amounts of work at high speeds, so I am a rare compliment to the rest of the blog. But looking forward, I hope to write much more, especially considering that millions of people around the world spend their time clicking the refresh button on our blog-page. So that’s me, but please, just call me Ted.
This is also from Ted, but is not part of his answer to the question:
Thank you for taking an interest in our blog! I have had a lot of fun looking around your blog, and I'm glad someone enjoys reading Some High School Blog as much as I enjoy writing for it.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Tips for a Substitute Teacher…
The high school blogger team of Phil & Ted offers the following: 100 tips For The Substitute Teacher
It’s really, really long but I have personally used #’s 1, 2, 3, 26, 30, 34, & 84.
(Note: I might have Phil and/or Ted as guest bloggers, so your comments would be useful in determining that decision.)
It’s really, really long but I have personally used #’s 1, 2, 3, 26, 30, 34, & 84.
(Note: I might have Phil and/or Ted as guest bloggers, so your comments would be useful in determining that decision.)
Monday, May 02, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Spring Breakers…
My last assignment for the month was a Title 1 school, second grade class the day before “Spring Break”! (Ugh)
I know, I know…not the wisest move on my part, the last day before a holiday. I know I’m going to have problems, but I am short days this month. It’s the last opportunity to add to an already anemic April paycheck.
The class was as difficult as expected. Not “terrible out of control” difficult just the “wearing me out” difficult getting them to do class work instead of tattling, whining and the constantly goofing off that comes with kids this age. No surprise there.
The end of day bell could not come soon enough for me as I dismissed the class to get backpacks from the coat closet and go home. Just when I thought I’d heard it all, three girls came running out to tattle on some boys for “opening doors”.
Having no clue what “opening doors” in a coat closet could possibility mean I had to investigate.
Now, I know the classrooms are small and outdated but I just have to wonder who had the bright idea of installing the high voltage electrical circuit breaker panels in a closet the teacher uses as a combination, backpack, coat, and outdoor play equipment room.
Sure enough, a couple boys have the kid height access panels to the high voltage circuits open and are flipping breaker switches! Fortunately there are no exposed circuits, but still…
Since the lights in my classroom are still working, I had no idea what the breakers controlled but I wouldn’t be surprised if some teacher in another classroom must be wondering if there are poltergeists haunting his/her classroom.
(…The original title of this post was "Spring Break", but then I realized I had a better title!)
I know, I know…not the wisest move on my part, the last day before a holiday. I know I’m going to have problems, but I am short days this month. It’s the last opportunity to add to an already anemic April paycheck.
The class was as difficult as expected. Not “terrible out of control” difficult just the “wearing me out” difficult getting them to do class work instead of tattling, whining and the constantly goofing off that comes with kids this age. No surprise there.
The end of day bell could not come soon enough for me as I dismissed the class to get backpacks from the coat closet and go home. Just when I thought I’d heard it all, three girls came running out to tattle on some boys for “opening doors”.
Having no clue what “opening doors” in a coat closet could possibility mean I had to investigate.
Now, I know the classrooms are small and outdated but I just have to wonder who had the bright idea of installing the high voltage electrical circuit breaker panels in a closet the teacher uses as a combination, backpack, coat, and outdoor play equipment room.
Sure enough, a couple boys have the kid height access panels to the high voltage circuits open and are flipping breaker switches! Fortunately there are no exposed circuits, but still…
Since the lights in my classroom are still working, I had no idea what the breakers controlled but I wouldn’t be surprised if some teacher in another classroom must be wondering if there are poltergeists haunting his/her classroom.
(…The original title of this post was "Spring Break", but then I realized I had a better title!)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Difference Between MLK and BHO
"I have dream!" .vs. "I have a plan!"
Success vs Failure explained...
(It's long but worth every minute)
HT: CarpeDiem for the find
Success vs Failure explained...
(It's long but worth every minute)
HT: CarpeDiem for the find
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
No One Fails Anymore…
(I’m probably going to get flamed for this but…)
The Individualized Education Program (IEP), mandated by the “Disabilities Education Act”, is supposed to address kids who have delayed skills or other disabilities that make learning or functioning in a school environment difficult.
I’ve subbed classes with IEP kids before and I truly feel for the well behaved 4th grader that tries real hard to do the “individualized” 2nd grade math problems and still doesn’t “get it”. The more serious disruptive behavior cases often have a personal aide that attends class with them and will handle the issues that come up.
But, like any government program, I suspect that the “IEP” can be misused as an excuse for just plain lazy, careless work.
I just completed a 2-day stint with group of friendly, good natured, cooperative 5th graders at the country club school. But there always seems to be at least one “goof ball” who isn’t quite with the program. Let’s call him “Dave” for anonymity reasons.
Dave is also friendly, cooperative, and good natured but doesn’t do any work. If pressed, he can do the work with constant prompting but on his own, when my back is turned, he spends his time in class drawing posters. He has an IEP.
His IEP (briefly explained on the lesson plan) allows him to complete only about half the homework and/or class work. The problem with Dave is that he hasn’t done even the half he is supposed to do.
Now I’m only guessing but given the nature and make up of the school, I suspect that Dave’s low performance isn’t up to the expectations of his highly successful parents and therefore it must be a bad school or some medical condition as a reason for their son’s poor performance. Since the school is one of the highest rated schools in Calif, the problem must therefore be “medical”.
No one is simply allowed to fail anymore.
For more on (possible) misuses of the IEP program, check out the Untouchables on Buckhorn Road
The Individualized Education Program (IEP), mandated by the “Disabilities Education Act”, is supposed to address kids who have delayed skills or other disabilities that make learning or functioning in a school environment difficult.
I’ve subbed classes with IEP kids before and I truly feel for the well behaved 4th grader that tries real hard to do the “individualized” 2nd grade math problems and still doesn’t “get it”. The more serious disruptive behavior cases often have a personal aide that attends class with them and will handle the issues that come up.
But, like any government program, I suspect that the “IEP” can be misused as an excuse for just plain lazy, careless work.
I just completed a 2-day stint with group of friendly, good natured, cooperative 5th graders at the country club school. But there always seems to be at least one “goof ball” who isn’t quite with the program. Let’s call him “Dave” for anonymity reasons.
Dave is also friendly, cooperative, and good natured but doesn’t do any work. If pressed, he can do the work with constant prompting but on his own, when my back is turned, he spends his time in class drawing posters. He has an IEP.
His IEP (briefly explained on the lesson plan) allows him to complete only about half the homework and/or class work. The problem with Dave is that he hasn’t done even the half he is supposed to do.
Now I’m only guessing but given the nature and make up of the school, I suspect that Dave’s low performance isn’t up to the expectations of his highly successful parents and therefore it must be a bad school or some medical condition as a reason for their son’s poor performance. Since the school is one of the highest rated schools in Calif, the problem must therefore be “medical”.
No one is simply allowed to fail anymore.
For more on (possible) misuses of the IEP program, check out the Untouchables on Buckhorn Road
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Substitute Teacher Performance Reviews...
Every job I’ve had included some sort of “performance review” process to let you know where you stood in the ranks of fellow job holders. The results of the review determine pay raises, bonus, a promotion or in some cases a layoff notice. As far as I know, the only profession(s) where this doesn’t happen is the self employed and substitute teachers.
But then again…
(Found this on the desk after the 3rd graders left for the day...)
But then again…
(Found this on the desk after the 3rd graders left for the day...)
Monday, April 04, 2011
Look For The Flagpole…
Here’s a tip for beginning substitute teachers.
When arriving at a school for the first time and you are looking for the school office, look for a flagpole.
The school office is most likely located in the building nearest to it. The office door is most likely the door nearest the flagpole.
There are exceptions. I arrived to check in with 2 minutes to spare for a 5th grade class last Friday to find that the school office was missing. I’ve been to this school numerous times over the last five years and the school office was always right there behind the flagpole. The building was still there but the front desk, phones, computers, furniture, filing cabinets, school principal and office staff…all gone!
It took me another five minutes to locate the “temporary” school office in one of the unused Kindergarten classrooms.
It seems that they had just begun remodeling the “old office” to be turned into the new teacher’s lounge and resource area. The “new office” will relocated to a building at the other end of the parking lot.
I wonder if they’ll move the flagpole?
When arriving at a school for the first time and you are looking for the school office, look for a flagpole.
The school office is most likely located in the building nearest to it. The office door is most likely the door nearest the flagpole.
There are exceptions. I arrived to check in with 2 minutes to spare for a 5th grade class last Friday to find that the school office was missing. I’ve been to this school numerous times over the last five years and the school office was always right there behind the flagpole. The building was still there but the front desk, phones, computers, furniture, filing cabinets, school principal and office staff…all gone!
It took me another five minutes to locate the “temporary” school office in one of the unused Kindergarten classrooms.
It seems that they had just begun remodeling the “old office” to be turned into the new teacher’s lounge and resource area. The “new office” will relocated to a building at the other end of the parking lot.
I wonder if they’ll move the flagpole?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tangled...and the winner is:
Winner update:
Congratulations Lisa of Columbus, OH! She is the winner of the DVD combo pack of the Disney movie "Tangled"
(Winning selection was made using the latest online random number technology available and verified by a real church secretary to guarantee an unbiased result.)
In a shameless attempt to drive traffic to the blog and promote the DVD release of the Disney movie "Tangled", the promotions people have offered me some freebie giveaways. One of which is a DVD of the movie.
To enter for a chance in the random drawing, email with your name and return email address to: [email protected] (One entry per person, please)
The cutoff date for contest entries will be midnight March/31 . Winner will be posted here (First name only) on or about April 2
Promoters update(s):
3/24: "...winner's DVD is being upgraded to a BLU-RAY COMBO PACK!!"
3/24: "...if people take pictures of themselves doing the Tangled talents (Rapunzel hair, cooking, lanterns, etc), we'd love to see them forwarded to us..." (If there are any, I'll forward them on...)
Entries submitted to date: 20 (odds are good!)
Congratulations Lisa of Columbus, OH! She is the winner of the DVD combo pack of the Disney movie "Tangled"
(Winning selection was made using the latest online random number technology available and verified by a real church secretary to guarantee an unbiased result.)
In a shameless attempt to drive traffic to the blog and promote the DVD release of the Disney movie "Tangled", the promotions people have offered me some freebie giveaways. One of which is a DVD of the movie.
To enter for a chance in the random drawing, email with your name and return email address to: [email protected] (One entry per person, please)
The cutoff date for contest entries will be midnight March/31 . Winner will be posted here (First name only) on or about April 2
Promoters update(s):
3/24: "...winner's DVD is being upgraded to a BLU-RAY COMBO PACK!!"
3/24: "...if people take pictures of themselves doing the Tangled talents (Rapunzel hair, cooking, lanterns, etc), we'd love to see them forwarded to us..." (If there are any, I'll forward them on...)
Entries submitted to date: 20 (odds are good!)
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