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Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, November 02, 2007
No TPing!
So I did go ahead with my plan for selective candy giving. I had a big plastic bowl filled with Twix and Nestle Crunch bars, and inside that, a tiny little cup with candy corn inside it. To answer one person's question, I had no problem giving good candy to the older kids, as long as they were in costume. Though I felt a bit awkward seeing the kid in the orange m&m costume who appeared to be 18, who came up to my door alone and said, "Twick o tweat!"
One group of about 7 kids approached, and I gave out Twix, Nestle Crunch, Nestle Crunch, Twix, Twix, Nestle Crunch, one candy corn. Six little kids in costume and one teenager in street clothes with a plastic grocery sack. When I put the single piece of craptastic candy into his bag, he glared at me and said, "Man, that's all I get??"
I replied, "Yep, that's all you're dressed for."
On the radio this morning, I heard a story about a high school social studies teacher who would ask the kids geography and government questions when they came to his door on Halloween. The kids who answered correctly walked away with candy. The kids who said Ronald Reagan was our first president walked away empty handed.
I might have to break out the spooky multiplication tables next Halloween...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
'Twas the night before Halloween
Tomorrow night is Halloween, which means a lot more to me now as a homeowner than it ever did as an apartment dweller. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved Halloween -- dressing up, going to haunted houses, eating so much candy that you beg someone to kill you -- but I never got any trick or treaters at my apartment, whereas I get a ton of them at my house.
So I've made all the preparations for this year. By that, I mean I've gone to the store and bought candy. Name brand candy, thank you very much, none of this knockoff stuff. One of my colleagues was talking about how she went to the dollar store to get candy and came away with a bunch of really cheap, imitator brands. I can just imagine kids coming to her door and receiving packages of n&n's, Smickers, and Swete Tarts.
None of that for me! I've got Twix, Nestle Crunch Bars, and Jolly Ranchers at my disposal. Of course, my plan is to give these precious candies ONLY to the little kids who come dressed in costume this year.
For the past two years, I've enjoyed seeing all of the little tykes in their Halloween getups. What I have NOT enjoyed is the roving bands of teenagers who come -- in no perceivable disguise -- knock on the door, and mutely hold out a pillow case. They're not even going to the effort of saying the words, "Trick or Treat!!!"
So this year, I have a plan for that. And I love it when a plan comes together. Along with my tasty goodies, I bought a single bag of candy corn. I know there are some people out there who love candy corn, but personally, I think it is one of the most disgusting candies ever, second only to those really nasty orange circus peanuts that have the look, feel, and taste of Styrofoam packing peanuts. I'm pretty sure that's what they are, just spray-painted radioactive orange.
So tomorrow night, when I open my door, if it's a group of little kids in costume, I will happily place a Twix bar or other delicious treat into their bag. But when I open the door to find some punk, trying to capitalize on October 31, he/she will receive one single candy corn.
Eat up, bucko, that's all you're getting from me. Be glad it's not a toothbrush or a walnut.
On a completely unrelated note, if anyone has any recommendations for de-toilet papering trees, please let me know...