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Sunday, October 16, 2005

Speaking English Is No Longer Necessary

We have fewer ESL students than we used to after 9/11, perhaps 40% fewer. Still, we ought to be able to come up with a reasonable method of testing their English.

In New York City, we had a test called the LAB that was used for 20 years. It had a version A, and a version B. For ease of scoring, the answers to both versions were identical. As the test was never updated, students started stealing it, and several told me that they’d received the answers via email. That explained the students I had who spoke no English, yet somehow passed.

After 20 years, some wise individual decided to revise the test. Unfortunately, the new test is extremely basic, and I’d say any student with one year of study could pass it. This was highly problematic until it was supplanted by a NY State exam called the NYCESLAT, and please don’t ask me what that stands for.

The new state test shared the low level of the city test, but the folks in NY State arranged it so you seemed to need a perfect score (at least) to pass it. This resulted in a highly critical column in the NY Times written by my favorite education columnist, Michael Winerip. The state was upset by this, so in a relatively short time (2 years) they revised the standard. Now, like the LAB, it's far too easy to pass.

The NYCESLAT, for reasons never explained to me, though, can only be given in the spring. Therefore, students who arrive at other points in the year (the majority) are given the LAB test.

Last year, I taught Transitional English, the last ESL course we give, in which I taught novels. I had one young girl who did no homework, no reading, and never participated in class. One day I informed her that if she did not start doing the homework and the reading, she would fail. At this, the girl ran crying from my class to her guidance counselor, who placed her elsewhere.

The girl was right to be upset. The test falsely indicated that she was ready for advanced English. It doesn’t take forever (as some “bilingual” programs seem to advocate), but it takes a few years for teenagers to acquire a second language. It really behooves state and city officials to get off their collective keesters and design a valid test.

My test?

“What’s your name?”

“Where are you from”

“How long have you been here?” or ungrammatical but simplified:

“How long are you here, in the United States?”

Beyond that I’d want to see writing samples.

Students who lack mastery of such basic verbal English should not be placed beyond level 2 of basic ESL. Talking is a huge part of language, and to place kids who can’t speak in classes where they’re expected to study Shakespeare does no service to the, or indeed anyone.

Why can’t all those smart people in Albany and Tweed figure that out?

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Democracy, UFT Style

If you’re a high school teacher, you don’t get to select the vice-president representing you. You used to, but you don’t anymore.

Michael Shulman, representing New Action, won that post once. The UFT called a special re-vote, and he won by a larger margin. This disturbed the folks at Unity, as it threatened their monopolistic hold on power. What could they do?

Well, in 1994, they changed the constitution, so that all members could participate in the selection of all vice-presidents. This meant that elementary teachers, who outnumber high school teachers, and who largely tend to vote Unity, could drown out those nasty folks voting for the opposition.

So, if you’re a high school teacher wondering how the hell the UFT expects you to balance your current workload, plus the 37 minute sixth class, plus lunchroom duty, it’s not that hard to understand. The UFT has pretty much precluded your input by denying you representation.

When the UFT claims 90% of the vote in the executive board meetings, bear in mind that votes are not counted, but estimated. That’s why both sides tend to interpret votes in their favor, and it’s also why we, the members, never find out what really happened. Ballots are not even secret, so those of our representatives who are beholden to Unity for jobs or perks are not free to vote their beliefs.

Karl Rove could learn a lot from this system; if you don’t actually count votes, you don’t need a Katherine Harris to certify the results before they’re counted.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Vivian

I’m in the department office, correcting papers and congratulating myself that I have only 5 million more to go when Vivian bursts in, crying hysterically. I try to calm her down, and ask what’s wrong. Vivian, an incredibly conscientious student who arrived from China only months ago, thrusts a paper in my face and begins to cry even louder.

It’s in Chinese. Between sobs, she sputters she got a D on her composition, and apparently, it’s all but ruined her young life.

“I’m sorry, Vivian, but I can’t understand Chinese. Did you ask the teacher why?”

“Yes.” (sob, sniff….)

“What did he tell you?”

“I don’t know.” (cry, sob)

“What do you mean?”

“I c-c-can’t understand his Chinese.” (sniff, sniff)

“Come on, Vivian.”

“NO! NOBODY understand his Chinese!”

“Well, you must understand it better than me...”

“I ask him five time, and I don’t understand. Finally, he tell me in English….” (sob, cry, cry…”)

“What did he tell you, Vivian?”

“He tell me in English ‘It suck!.’ “ (serious bawling)

Well, as criticism goes, it’s certainly concise.

Later, I look for her teacher and find him. Unfortunately, I find his English utterly incomprehensible. That’s unusual for me—my job involves regularly dealing with people who speak little or no English. I have a Chinese-speaking colleague call Vivian’s parents on my behalf and tell them what a wonderful kid she is and how well she’s doing in my class.

It probably won’t help.

Tired of Kids Tossing Desks out the Window?

Great classroom advice from Tim Fredrick.

Thanks to Nancy at Se hace camino al andar.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Top Ten Edwize Headlines

10. The Joy of Lunchroom Duty

9. Why Merit Pay is a Good Thing Even If Base Salaries Are Far from Competitive

8. Find Fulfillment by Teaching Six Classes for the Price of Five

7. How Losing the Right to Grieve Letters in My File Improved My Sex Life

6. 37½ Minutes to Paradise

5. If We Approve It, It Must Not Be Merit Pay

4. Less is More: Why It’s Better to Have Fewer Options at the Workplace

3. Become a Complete Person by Spending Less Time with Your Family and More with Klein’s Flunkies

2. Why, Despite Years of Evidence to the Contrary, Your Principal Will Probably Not Abuse Power

1. The Contract Is Good Because We Say It Is

Essential Reading

From reality-based educator:

UFT Spin Guys Come Around for a Propaganda Session

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Real Value of Lunchroom Duty

I remember reading a column in the New York Times by then-education columnist Richard Rothstein entitled “The Secret Value of Lunchroom Duty.”  In the lunchroom, Mr. Rothstein wrote, you could get to know the students in an informal setting, and surpass the restrictions of the classroom, or something like that.  It seemed a very fine idea.

However, having actually done the job, I can tell you Mr. Rothstein’s musings bore little resemblance to reality.  

The last time I was assigned to the lunchroom was upon arrival to a brand-new school.  The dean, the guy in charge, posted me at the front door to check student programs and challenge the kids who didn’t belong.  He posted himself way in the back, by a locked door, where he could peruse the Daily News to his heart’s content.

Despite Rothstein’s presumptions, in a school with thousands of kids, almost none turned out to be my students.  The only kids I got to know really well were those who regularly stole or borrowed programs in order to spend their math periods in the lunchroom.  That’s right—I met the proverbial boy named Sue, and furthermore, I confiscated his phony program.  

Out of sheer boredom, I started asking kids what their third period classes were, what their birthdays were, or who their English teacher was.  Many had no idea, and my collection of programs grew and grew.  Had I known about all the zero percent raises the UFT had in store for me, I might have considered a tidy little business selling them.

Another important job was keeping careful count of the bathroom passes, and making sure you took a valid program for each pass you issued.  There were very particular rules about these passes, but I don’t remember them anymore.  With luck, I won’t need to learn them again.

Sometimes a fight would break out.  As a teacher, I’d learned, I’m not authorized to break up fights, and if hurt trying to break one up, I’d have to pay out of pocket for any and all injuries.  I wrote a long essay on the NTE about this, to describe something I learned outside of the classroom, but will spare you the details for now.  

Sometimes food fights would occur, bringing the dean from behind his Daily News to where the action was.

“Who started it?”

“I have no idea.  I was checking programs.”

The real truth about lunch patrol?  If you love teaching, you’ll hate it.  It’s a mind-numbing waste of time.  You can’t get any work done, because too many things are going on.  You can’t really help any kids, because few, if any, need your help eating lunch.

There’s absolutely no reason school aides can’t do this job as well as teachers.  We’re here to help kids learn, not to police their lunch trays.  I never, ever had the remotest opportunities to get to know kids in the lunchroom.

If you want to get to know kids, have them write regularly in your classroom.  Carefully read everything they write, comment on it, and return it.  This sort of correspondence will let you know things about kids you’d never have suspected otherwise.  You’ll also be able to offer them real grownup advice, which some of them sorely lack.

Unfortunately, this is difficult when you have the highest class size in the state.  It will prove even more difficult when your time is spent teaching a sixth class, the mysterious “small-group instruction,” and a lunch patrol, in which you may expect to complete no work whatsoever.  

With the inevitable full sixth class in our next contract, you can expect this job to cut even further into your “free” time.  And if you can’t see that full class coming, you need your eyes examined.

Me, I’ll probably move away from essays, and toward multiple choice tests to be pushed through scantrons.  How can I read hundreds of papers on a daily basis when I have two other jobs, precious little time to do so, and, apparently, no one in Tweed or the UFT who thinks it’s of any value?

In any case, if any of this has piqued your interest in lunch patrol, you should probably vote “yes” on this contract.  

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Break out the Rubber Stamps

I just heard the UFT Delegate Assembly approved sending the contract to rank and file this afternoon.

Now we get to tell them what we think of this contract. On October 21, if I recall correctly, the ballots will be available.

Vote early. vote often, vote NO!

News and Rumor

First, a colleague informs me that this blog was quoted on News 4 last night in a story about the contract's chances. "Money comes and goes, but lunchroom duty is forever." It's still true too.

The NY Daily News today took a step back on the "kiss of death" story, suggesting that a contract vote would be close, but predicting it would pass. It also ran an editorial strongly endorsing this contract. In case you haven't noticed, the Daily News likes nothing that's good for teachers. That, in itself, is a compelling reason to vote no after tonight's Delegate Assembly rubber stamps sending it to the rank and file.

Oh, yes--the rumor. A teacher in my building knows some big shots on the UFT who are visiting schools. He says they're regularly astonished by the volume of anti-contract sentiment they see. Let's keep it up and stop this thing from degrading and demeaning the job we love.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Kiss of Death?


In today's NY Daily News, Randi Weingarten reveals doubts the new contract will pass rank and file.

She attributes them to this photo, and Klein's boasts about having won so much in this agreement.

Unfortunately, Klein is absolutely right to boast about buying the UFT off so cheaply. Hopefully, Ms. Weingarten will soon recognize it's more than a kiss that makes this contract undesirable and unacceptable for NYC's 80,000 working teachers.

(With thanks to posters Reality-Based Educator and Dismayed.)

Unity Visits Your School

Welcome everyone.  I’m very glad to see you’ve all come here.  First of all, despite the whining of a small but vocal minority of chronic malcontents, I’d like to point out that, under our guidance, teacher salaries have more than doubled over the last 20 years.   Doubled!  That’s quite impressive given the current geopolitical context, and if you have any sense, you’ll be quite impressed, as we all are.

Let’s first talk about the 37.5 minute “small group instruction.”  This is most definitely not a sixth teaching period.  It is instruction, not teaching, and anyone who can’t tell the difference is clearly ignorant.  Everyone with any sense knows that teaching can be stressful at times, but instruction is an effortless pleasure.  Furthermore, those high-achieving students who ask difficult and troublesome questions will have already left the school, so you won’t have to deal with all their nasty curiosity and thoughtfulness.  We at Unity find those qualities distracting as well. That’s why we discourage such vulgar individuals from working for us.

Now, some of our detractors are complaining that the “lead teacher” position is “merit pay.”  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  “Merit pay” is when the administration selects teachers to be paid more than other teachers.  A “lead teacher” will be chosen by the administration to receive additional compensation.  Anyone who can’t tell the obvious difference has not read the official UFT fact sheet, which Ms. Finch is now passing out.

And now we come to the issue of lunch patrol.  If you remember, it was our hard work that got you out of the lunchroom, and we were very proud of that.  It was a tough year and no money was available, so we got you out.  This year, not only did we achieve a raise, but we got you back in at no additional charge to you, or any of your UFT colleagues.  And furthermore, many of you will not serve lunchroom duty, since you’ll be returned to homeroom.  Yes it’s true we got you out of that in the past, in exchange for a zero, but this year we got you back in, once again, with no additional charge.  That was some tough negotiating, but we rolled up our sleeves, put our heads together, and had the chauffers garage all the limos till it got done.

Now a lot of teachers are complaining that the police and corrections officers received 10.25% over two years, while we got 14.25 over four.  Well, you only need to look at those statements to realize how much better our deal is.  We got 15, and they only got 10!  15 is five more than ten!  Do the math, people!

Furthermore, police cadets will receive a drastic cut in salary for their first six months.  I’m proud to tell you that, under this historic contract, student teachers will receive the exact same salary they always have, and their rate of pay has not been reduced at all.  There’s also a lot of loose talk about how they’re getting 12,000 for two years of back pay, while you’re only getting up to 5,000 for four.  All I can say is do the math!  If you take that 5,000 and multiply it by 5, that’s $25,000, which is more than double what the corrections officers got!  Do the math!

Finally, with this historic contract, we have promised to agree in principle that teachers with 25 years service will be able to retire in 25 years.  That’s something that we might get for you in the future, if it’s possible.  Is anyone else promising they might get that for you?  No?  Well, I’m here to tell you that if you vote yes for this contract, you might get that in the future.  Furthermore, under this contract, if you spend one dollar of that raise we got you, you might win the lottery and live a life of luxury in Hawaii, where girls with grass skirts play ukuleles, and bring you drinks in coconuts on the beach.  Who else is saying you might get those things?  No one!  Keep that in mind. Remember, if you vote “no” you might not win the lottery!

Remember, this contract is the best we could do.  If you vote no, the next one will be even worse.  Also, we will immediately go on strike, be replaced permanently by scabs, you will be unable to pay your bills, removed from your home, and forced to live in a pickup truck opposite your school, with access only to gas station and student bathrooms.  Is that what you want?  Remember, don’t let our detractors’ sleazy fear tactics sway you into voting no!

Any questions?  Yes? I deeply regret I will be unable to answer questions at this time.  Unfortunately, I have a rhumba lesson in fifteen minutes, and the teacher has a strict policy about lateness.  As teachers, I’m sure you all can understand that.

Before I leave, let me express my deepest thanks to the silent majority of teachers who support Unity, and this historic contract.  God bless you all, and God bless the United Federation of Teachers.

Thank you, and I’ll see you all again when the next contract comes up for ratification.  Let’s go, Ms. Finch.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Vital Advice

If you have a kid, know a kid, or have ever been a kid, you must immediately go see Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

"Something wicked this way hops."

A Dialogue

Here’s a post Leo Casey left on Ms. Frizzle's site:

I will not respond to the personal attacks.

I can’t blame Mr. Casey for that. There’s really no need to indulge in personal attacks. Let’s focus on the contract, and Mr. Casey's ideas about it.

Mr. Casey is very visible on the front page of Edwize, defending the contract. I’m encouraged that he’s venturing out into the blogosphere, because that indicates that those who professionally spin this contract feel the need to further get the word out. Mr. Casey continues:

I do need to point out, however, that if the people who are now pronouncing with absolute cetainty that the extra ten minutes will produce a sixth teaching period were right in the past, when they made similar pronouncements with equal certainy, it would be the eighth or ninth teaching period we were discussing, not the sixth. As a matter of fact, it was not that long ago, when Circular 6R was first negotiated, that the very same folks were saying this is a sixth teaching period, and it does not matter how you say you are going to implement it. Now, they shout from the rooftops, "Don't surrender Circular 6R."

Yes we were born, but it wasn't yesterday.

Circular 6R, if I’m not mistaken, is the document in which teachers select their professional assignment. Please feel free to correct me, as I’m very likely to be wrong. In my school, we have the option of planning for three preps as an assignment. This works well for me, because I’ve had three preps for the last 12 years. (Note—while it sounds otherwise, I’m not complaining.)

In any case, here’s my response:

The distinction between lunchroom duty and being in charge of kids in a classroom has evidently escaped Mr. Casey. Nonetheless, I am indeed opposed to placing teachers in lunchrooms. It's degrading, unprofessional, and will do little to halt the exodus of new teachers.

Unlike Mr. Casey, I've performed lunchroom duty, and I can tell you it's the worst task I've ever been forced to do as a teacher. Despite his bold words, Mr. Casey, I fear, will not be joining us in the lunchroom.

The UFT was proud when it (lunchroom duty) was eliminated, gleefully selling us a new contract. They now seem proud to have gotten it reinstated, gleefully selling us a new contract. How does Mr. Casey explain that?

It's remarkable that having ten students in a room for 37 minutes is not a teaching period. Did everyone understand Mr. Casey's contention?

When I teach college at night, I sometimes get groups of ten people. And I, lacking Mr. Casey's apparent expertise, actually organize materials and teach. Perhaps Mr. Casey will be kind enough to share with us his preferred approach.

Perhaps Mr. Casey will further enlighten those of us too ignorant to discern the difference between "small group instruction" and "class."

As a teacher and a parent, it's my view that no conscientious educator would allow ten kids to sit and waste their time for 37.5 minutes a day. Doubtless Mr. Casey has a better approach.

I eagerly await the moment he shares that approach with us.

Do UFT muckety-mucks think they can tell us being in charge of a group of students, expressly for the purpose of "instruction" is not teaching? What do they take us for? Could it be that they think we were born yesterday?

Your responses are encouraged. Have a great Sunday, everyone. And enjoy Columbus Day, which seems to have survived this round of negotiations.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

The Piano

They came into the auditorium, two guys in white jumpsuits, and announced “We’re here for the piano.”  Someone pointed to it.

Then they wheeled it out, the grand piano, and loaded it onto a truck.

No one ever saw that piano again.

Friday, October 07, 2005

I Was a Teenage UFT Transfer, or Why You Might Need the Current Contract One Day

Well, perhaps I was a little older, but I was teaching in a pretty bad school. Discipline in the halls was virtually non-existent. We’d had a very tough principal who actually took action against troublesome students, but he was replaced by a Board of Ed. hack with a moustache. He had a great smile, his moustache would move up and down, and words would come from his mouth, but they rarely signified much. He was very careful not to offend any member of the community, so for kids, there were no longer significant consequences for anything they did.

My classroom was different. I terrorized the kids by phoning their parents in Spanish and reporting absolutely everything that happened in the class, along with grades, absences and lateness. It was simply not worth acting out in my ESL classes.

Next door to me was Mr. Mudd, the Spanish teacher. Mr. Mudd spoke with a very thick accent that was by no means Spanish. He had been the principal of a school in his home country, and expected absolute unquestioning obedience from his students. He did not receive it.

For some reason, Mr. Mudd was assigned five Spanish 1 classes, including three composed of native speakers. The natives in particular found Mr. Mudd’s Spanish laughable, and delighted in torturing him with all sorts of juvenile pranks: tacks on the chair, verbally imitating his empty threats, spitballs and such. Every day, he’d send scores of uncooperative kids to my supervisor, inconveniently tearing her away from whatever it was she did in that little office. I never threw kids out of class, figuring time spent with me was punishment enough.

One day, Mr. Mudd found a regulation somewhere stating that if a student had previously failed a teacher’s class, that student did not have to repeat that class with that teacher. This was a great opportunity for Mr. Mudd, since he had failed virtually everyone in all of his classes. He started sending names to the supervisor, who then had to re-assign all the students out of Spanish one.

At the end of the semester, I was called into the supervisor’s office. She had a cunning plan. She knew I then had a second job that began at 3:30, and informed me that the following semester I, an ESL teacher, would be teaching all Spanish 1 classes. If I declined, I would receive the only late class in the department, and be forced to give up my second job.

It was a perfect plan. Now, Mr. Mudd would no longer be sending those kids into her office, and she could do whatever it was she did in that office in peace. I would never send kids to her office, I would have no lists of students who couldn’t be in my classes, and she could put all those kids in Spanish 1 again. Many of them weren’t taking to French or Italian, and the ones who spoke little or no English had become particularly troublesome.

What could I do? I told her to do whatever she wished. Then, I applied for a UFT transfer to a school that was located within minutes of my second job. It did not require the approval of my AP, but only the signature of my principal. He waved his moustache up and down happily, and declared I’d never get a position in the school I’d requested.

The following September, while I attended orientation meetings in the school I requested, both the principal and my supervisor of my old school were perplexed at my absence. The UFT transfer plan precluded my being punished for doing my job too well.

Perhaps it will do the same for you one day.

But only if you vote “NO” on this awful contract proposal.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Overheard

Of teachers:

“I could vote for it because I’m going to retire.  But that would go against everything I went on strike for.  I don’t believe in giving all this stuff back.”

“They pretend to pay me, and I pretend I’m working.”

Of students:

“Without my glasses, I can’t even find my glasses.”

“This room smells like math.”

(Upon watching me, her teacher, feign a heart attack over a subject-verb agreement error)
“You needs to calm down, man.”

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Roadmap to a Sixth Teaching Period

Goshdarn it, why oh why are we being so negative? Did Martha Stewart stop baking cookies just because they sent her to the stoney lonesome for a few months? When GW failed to find any WMDs, did he suffer any consequences? When Rod Paige got caught faking the “Texas Miracle,” did he go to jail? Of course not! Ol’ Rod just paid journalists to push his programs, called the NEA a “terrorist organization, ” and rode quietly off into the sunset.

So let's just stop being such a "Gloomy Gus," and look at the bright side of the new UFT contract, shall we? With the innovative language of this unprecedented document, the “Roadmap to a Sixth Teaching Period,” you’ll be a better teacher, a better human being, and surely edge closer to that spiritual fulfillment that's been eluding you all these years.

Aren’t you sick to death of getting raises just to have more money? Wouldn’t you rather increase your workload while essentially getting paid the same or less? Wouldn’t everyone? Well, here’s your chance.

First of all, rather than planning lessons or helping kids, you’ll have the opportunity to experience firsthand the sublime satisfaction of refereeing food fights. Or perhaps you’ll spend that period in one of Chancellor Klein’s luxuriously appointed student bathrooms, checking hall passes and lecturing kids you’ve never seen before on the perils of wearing hats. Maybe you'll even get to assist a secretary or a paraprofessional in filling out forms! Some teachers haven’t done these things before, but if you haven’t, believe me, there’s nothing quite like that first time.

Not only that, but after a full day’s work, you’ll spend 37.5 minutes on “small group instruction” since your classes, under this stellar contract, will still be the largest in the state. Think of all the new and exciting people you'll get to see and experience on the parkway after school. And don’t forget the inevitable extra ten minutes coming in the next contract, which will give you six full periods of teaching the largest classes in the state. What's that you say? "Oh boy!" "I can't wait!" But that's not all!

Instead of that wasteful Labor Day trip, you'll save big on gas by spending two perfect summer days being indoctrinated in the mysterious and arcane plans of Chancellor Klein. Get ready to sit in a hot auditorium and listen to his overpaid sycophantic flunkies tell you what a great job he's doing, and how and why you should stop screwing it up. And you'll yet enjoy another vacation day (for your students) hearing even more about much-neglected topics such as "The Art of Reading Aloud to 34 Seventeen Year Old Kids Who Don't Understand the Language You're Speaking."

Best of all, even with all these extras, you can rest secure in the knowledge you’re still the lowest paid teachers in the area. The fact is, while UFT pay edges up, our suburban colleagues get raises too, larger than ours, and without optional extras like those mentioned above. The UFT, in a particularly canny negotiating tactic, regularly underestimates the difference in pay between us. If you don’t believe me, visit a Nassau library and ask to see their teacher pay schedules, which are annually published in booklets by NYSUT.

Frankly, I can't wait till the next contract, when they give us that sixth full class we’ve all been hankering for. Like many of you, I’m bone weary of having such an effortless, cushy job, and if the UFT hadn’t proposed this contract, I was personally gonna circulate a petition demanding more work and less pay. So let’s all put our heads together and figure out what else we can sell them come October 2007.

Hmm…Tenure? Health insurance? Your firstborn?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Edwize Silent on Contract Pact

I'm curious why Edwize, the UFT blog, has seen fit to publish no new thread related to the new contract proposal. Interesting though the "New Teacher Diaries" may be, they hardly reflect what's on the minds of most teachers this week.

Could it be they don't want to know how the rank and file feel about the proposed contract? Or could it be they already do, and would prefer not to hear about it further?

Feel free to speculate here, and let's hope they show some guts and prove us wrong.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Contract Update (revised)

Today's NY Times reports an agreement between the UFT and Bloomberg for a 52 month contract with a 14.25% increase.

Highlights include:

-3 extra days listening to Klein's flunkies pontificate
-10 minutes extra per day
-fewer transfer options
-a sixth 37.5 minute class of "small group instruction" 4x weekly
-no right to grieve letters in your file
-return to lunch duty, hall patrol, homeroom, potty patrol et al
-UFT silence on the mayoral election as quid pro quo

Hopefully, the UFT will see fit to share further details with us soon.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Vivian

I’m in the department office, correcting papers and congratulating myself that I have only 5 million more to go when Vivian bursts in, crying hysterically. I try to calm her down, and ask what’s wrong. Vivian, an incredibly conscientious student who arrived from China only months ago, thrusts a paper in my face and begins to cry even louder.

It’s in Chinese. Between sobs, she sputters she got a D on her composition, and apparently, it’s all but ruined her young life.

“I’m sorry, Vivian, but I can’t understand Chinese. Did you ask the teacher why?”

“Yes.” (sob, sniff….)

“What did he tell you?”

“I don’t know.” (cry, sob)

“What do you mean?”

“I c-c-can’t understand his Chinese.” (sniff, sniff)

“Come on, Vivian.”

“NO! NOBODY understand his Chinese!”

“Well, you must understand it better than me...”

“I ask him five time, and I don’t understand. Finally, he tell me in English….” (sob, cry, cry…”)

“What did he tell you, Vivian?”

“He tell me in English ‘It suck!.’ “ (serious bawling)

Well, as criticism goes, it’s certainly concise.

Later, I look for her teacher and find him. Unfortunately, I find his English utterly incomprehensible. That’s unusual for me—my job involves regularly dealing with people who speak little or no English. I have a Chinese-speaking colleague call Vivian’s parents on my behalf and tell them what a wonderful kid she is and how well she’s doing in my class.

It probably won’t help.

Correction

Obviously I was premature in announcing that a deal between Bloomberg and the UFT was all but signed. While I was certainly not the only one laboring under that particular misconception, I'll refrain from further criticism of the contract until if and when there is one.

My feelings about the fact-finders report remain the same--it's absolutely unacceptable, and a very, very bad precedent. I very much think it will form the basis of any contract to which the UFT leadership agrees, but continue to hope against hope they will prove me wrong.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Dear Chancellor Klein:

Everyone knows what makes a good school--good teachers and small classes. Your boss, Mayor Bloomberg, used to talk a lot about the need for good teachers. In fact, he went and took the LAST test, passed easily, and declared any high school graduate ought to be able to pass it. I was encouraged by a mayor who seemed to seek excellence, rather than expedience, in hiring teachers for the city's kids.

Shortly thereafter, however, he sent you to Albany to request the right not only to retain teachers who'd failed that test, often multiple times, but also to ask for the right to hire more teachers who hadn't met minimum state requirements. Your request was granted, and now, thanks to you, New York City has the least qualified staff in the entire state. The UFT, which you condemn at every turn, has long supported high standards for teachers.

I would not want an unqualified teacher instructing my child. Would you like one for yours? How on earth can you find them suitable for NYC's 1.1 million kids?

As for class size, sir, Mayor Bloomberg single-handedly prevented a referendum on lower class size from reaching New York City voters. You proposed a contract with no limits on class size whatsoever. Last year, overcrowded classes were everywhere. I personally knew people teaching them the entire semester. You dismissed this in the press as UFT propaganda.

Recently, and thankfully, the court case on these issues was resolved, decreeing New York children need and deserve good teachers and small classes. It was finally decided that we would get funding, and that the city could shoulder some of the cost for this. The group that brought the suit suggested the city pay 25%. Governor Pataki suggested 40%.

Thus far, Mayor Bloomberg has offered precisely nothing, and a spokesman suggested, if compelled to pay, the Mayor would reply “No, thank you” to the suit in its entirety.

The actions of this administration suggest that you support neither good teachers nor small classes.

I will spare you, for now, my comments on the unconscionable overcrowding of our high schools, mine included. In return, kindly spare us notes like this year's welcome letter, the one that appeared in our mailboxes before the Christmas break, or the one you published in the UFT paper. We've seen you interviewed, we've read your comments, and we've read your 8 page contract. We all know precisely how you feel about us.

We are the city's teachers. When you vilify the UFT, you vilify every one of us. Show us a little respect. When you're really ready, we'll gladly work with you to improve education.

That's our job.

Sincerely,

NYC Educator

PS If you really want good teachers, I suggest you scrap the PERB proposals in their entirety and simply offer us a raise. Contrary to what you may have read in the Daily News, 50% of our new teachers don't quit within 5 years because the working conditions are too easy and the pay too high.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Bottom Line

Juan Gonzalez, the shining star of the otherwise union-busting, teacher-bashing NY Daily News is a rare breed…a journalist who tells the truth about education in NYC:

…back in 1995 under Mayor Rudy Giuliani, teachers were relieved of hallway and lunchroom patrols. That job was properly assigned to school aides.

Now Klein and Bloomberg want to return to the old system. They hope to save money by cutting the jobs of hundreds of school aides.

Using teachers as hallway monitors does absolutely nothing to improve education.

So much for “Children First.” With Bloomberg, it’s always about money. Him, I understand.

But how does the UFT Executive Board sleep at night, after selling us out, and for so little, on Bloomie's "Roadmap to a Sixth Teaching Period?"

Thanks...

…to The Wonkster, over at the Gotham Gazette, for his kind mention of this blog.

Monday, September 26, 2005

UFT to Membership--Bend Over

Well, the coverages are out, but you'll still be doing lunchroom duty, ten minutes, and three days extra. Weingarten will boast of the tough negotiations, but the deal is still not worth the money.

You'll be teaching 5 classes plus a sixth 30 minute "small-group instruction" which will become a sixth class on the next piece of crap contract the UFT agrees to. And you'll be approving the precedent that you can never get a raise without financing it yourself. That's very short-sighted.

Vote NO!!!

Don't let them ram this down our throats.

If they don't care, let's show them we do.

(This update courtesy of the ICE-UFT blog.)

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Mr. Fish

Guidance counselor extraordinaire.  Has me come to meetings and translate for him because he can’t be bothered learning Spanish.  Sits, smirking, tells me the kids are hopeless, and expects me to report that to their mothers.

And he’s just as good when you report a problem.  In my ESL 4 class is one kid who speaks very well, but won’t fill out a book receipt, a Delaney card, or a test paper.  I take him into the hall and write words on a piece of paper.  HOUSE.  MOTHER.  TREE.

The kid, in NYC schools for years, can’t read, and nobody seems to have noticed.  Who’s his counselor?  Mr. Fish.  I take the kid down and say oh my God, the kid can’t read.  I call his mother, who knows and asks me if I can get him into a program.  Fish says he needs to find out if the kid can read in his first language, which has the same alphabet as English.  I bring the kid to the language teacher, who briefly tests him and agrees—the kid can’t read.

I walk into Fish’s office three days later, where a female colleague (I guess) is giving him a back massage.  I ask what’s up with the kid.  Fish doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t move, doesn’t look at the papers on his desk or check his computer, finally says he doesn’t remember.  I go to the head of guidance, who’s suitably horrified.  Good.  

Days later, I get called into the principal’s office, where he demands repeatedly to know who was giving Fish that massage.  I have no idea.  

The kid stops coming to school that very day, and an AP I know tells me NYC has no programs for illiterate high school kids anyway.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Who Woulda Thunk It?

Gee whiz. Assorted Stuff points to a study in the Baltimore Sun showing Edison Schools cost more than their public school counterparts. Not only that, but while Edison's made progress, local public schools have made even more.

And there I was, thinking every untested right-wing notion that came down the pike was better than the system we've used to keep our paisanos educated the last few hundred years. Maybe someone oughta tell Klein and Bloomberg.

Is anyone besides me old enough to remember Pogo? There was some character who always said:

If I only could write, I'd write a letter to the mayor, if he only could read.

Words to live by.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Once Upon a Time in the East...

Chancellor Klein came into town, guns blazing, promising to bring great improvements to the New York City school system. Soon thereafter, he went to Albany, hat in hand, and persuaded the powers that be to allow him retain teachers who failed basic skills exams, and hire 3,000 more uncertified teachers. Later, he expressed much righteous indignation over teacher quality. Apparently, the Chancellor did not see that as inevitable in a system that scours the universe to attract the lowest common denominator, fails even at that, so sets the standard even lower.

New York State expects kids who came from Korea three months ago to pass a grueling (for them) two-day writing test called the English Regents. Chancellor Klein sees fit to employ teachers who’d fail not only that test, but also a far easier one called the LAST test, which supposedly measures teacher quality.

Many will argue that teacher certification in itself does not guarantee a good teacher. That’s certainly true. On the other hand, the inability to pass a basic competency test is a strong indicator that a person is unfit to teach children. Such a person would not be granted an interview anywhere but NYC.

That’s a good thing, because interviews can be tough. I faced the NYC Board of Examiners for oral interviews (for two different licenses) when the city maintained the highest standard in the State. Their written exams, unlike those current candidates manage to fail scores of times, were no walk in the park either.

If you wish to work in Burger King, the manager will want to have some sort of conversation with you. If the manager determines you to be a drooling, insane lunatic, your employment prospects dim considerably. However, if you visit the Department of Education, wave a diploma, breathe, and meet the very lowest standard in New York State, they will indeed send you out as a teacher.

If you’re a Spanish teacher who doesn’t speak Spanish, come to NYC. They won’t nitpick about your substandard personal hygiene. If you’re a Chinese teacher who hates everyone from the mainland, and you regularly announce this to anyone within earshot, this is the place for you. If you don’t speak any recognizable language, this is the place to teach language.

The DOE won’t raise an eyebrow if you wander around the school in dark glasses talking to yourself. Nor will they make a fuss about your propensity to take off your shirt and beat your chest like Tarzan in the middle of a lesson. And why should they? They can always blame the UFT.

My ex-colleague, who both speaks and teaches Spanish, recently found employment in Nassau. He had to go through multi-level interviews and give a sample lesson before he was hired. That’s the least we should do before hiring someone to teach. If we want to set high standards for our kids, we’d better set far higher standards for those we assign to lead them.

I once believed that Mayor Bloomberg, in stark contrast to his predecessor, wished to bring real positive change to New York City schools. Unfortunately, he and the Chancellor, despite their much-ballyhooed good intentions, reverted to the exact practices that transformed NYC from the State’s best school system to one of its worst.

They did this for one reason, and one reason only—to continue the city’s long tradition of defying the law of supply and demand by settling for virtually anyone who could fill one of its ancient wooden chairs. Now they fight tooth and nail over the possibility of granting teachers a raise that keeps up with the cost of living. Why?

Because they can always lower standards even further, get more teachers, complain loudly about them, and blame the UFT contract for whatever goes wrong. But it mostly boils down to this fact, which rarely occurs to anyone:

They simply don’t give a damn who teaches the kids of this city.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sold Down the River

Today, the Executive Board of the UFT voted to accept the PERB recommendation as the basis for a new contract.

High school teachers had better be prepared to teach five classes, do one lunchroom or potty patrol, (or whatever the principal deems you fit for), a dozen free coverages, and one “small group” instruction. That will make them the most overworked teachers in the state, and even with the increase, still the most underpaid.

And don’t forget, with the UFT’s repeated attitude of “We’ll take whatever the hell we can get, and worry about it some other time,” it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure the next contract will simply contain another ten minutes, and six full classes.

Now, young teachers will make a big 43K. They can wander into the very worst neighborhoods of the city, look at the very worst homes, and proudly declare, “I’ll never be able to afford that.”

At least they’ll have the satisfaction of knowing they’ll work twice as hard to not get it.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Wake Up and Smell the Mayor

Let's buy Randi Weingarten a megaphone, have her stand with us outside of City Hall and demand Mayor Moneybags come out and negotiate. He’s been ducking us for two years, then complaining to the press the union should be at the bargaining table. Let’s show him for the hypocritical liar he is.

Let’s make every Friday Black Friday and let the whole city see 100,000 teachers dressed in black, over and over again till we get a fair contract. Let’s hound Bloomberg and Klein at every press stop. Let’s make their lives miserable.

And let’s do it now, during the mayoral campaign!

Read It and Weep

A Day in the Life Under the Fact-Finders Contract

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Just Say No

Then, if it gets that far, vote no as well.

The New York Times reports that PERB's fact-finding panel recommended an 11%increase for NYC teachers over a three year period. In return for that, teachers would work an extra 10 minutes a day, and certain seniority transfer rules would be curtailed.

The ten minutes would be added to the twenty they snookered us into taking on the last contract, and we'd do"small group instruction" daily for thirty minutes. It doesn't take any wild stretch of imagination to envision another 10 minutes in the next contract, and a sixth class for high school teachers. In fact, the thirty minute "small group instruction" already sounds like one.

In case that's not enough, Bloomberg gets 3 days extra for "development", and 12 unpaid coverages from high school teachers, along with the right to send you to do "administrative duties." It is pure crap, produced by cynics who neither give a damn who teaches NYC's children, nor value those who do.

Bear in mind, this increase is still not a raise. It's a terrible deal, and a worse precedent.

The extra 10 minutes is about 2.5% of the day. The extra 3 days is another 1.5%. If you subtract that, as you should, it comes to 7% over three years. Then, subtract all of Bloomberg's additional goodies, like your sixth "small group" class, your 10 extra free coverages, and your curtailed rights,and you're left with even less than he gave the idiots at DC37.

Remember, if you work at Burger King, you get paid 10% more if your hours increase 10%. So it's not a raise.

Here's one teacher's response to PERB, left on this blog as a comment:

God help me, I'm going to polish up the old resume now. I just started my 5th year and if this is how they're going to treat teachers in NYC, I may as well make the move to the suburbs now. It's a shame too. I really like the kids I teach in my high school. I like working with an urban population in particular. But I refuse to be treated like a schmuck on wheels, which is how Bloomberg and the PERB panel is treating the teachers of NYC.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Thanks...

...to Ms. Frizzle for my unexpected inclusion in the Carnival of Education!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

New and Improved

You can find a brand new edition of The Advocate Weekly, painstakingly put together by Joe Thomas, of one of my favorite blogs, Shut Up and Teach.

Price: free (slightly higher in Canada)

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Wired

Under the beneficent guidance of Chancellor Klein, we're making rapid progress in New York City. For example, the last coal furnace was discarded over a year ago. Not only that, but I've heard some schools now have classroom phones that are genuinely functional. Most impressive in this electronic age is that many classrooms have actual internet connection ports.

Our school, for example, is completely wired for the internet. I sometimes point out to my students where the outlets are located.Regrettably, this often fails to impress them, since none of our rooms actually contain computers.

What makes me such an expert? Well, I don't like to brag, but I was once assigned to teach a word processing class. When I got there, despite summoning all my powers and abilities to repair them, only one of the ancient pre-XT computers would function. This was probably just as well, because neither I nor any of the kids were able to master its arcane word processing program.

By the second day, that computer was down as well. I spent the rest of the term helping the kids with their homework. I promised that anyone who attended regularly without causing any major problems would receive a grade of 100%.One kid cut the class on a regular basis, and complained endlessly when I failed him. Everyone else left happy and, being kids, they probably all knew more about computers than I ever would anyway.

(Note--Much of this comes from a post I left on J's site.)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The question:


“Aside from substantially increasing salaries, what can schools do to attract and retain really great teachers?”

It’s an interesting question, posed by Eduwonk, and certainly the answer’s been the goal of NYC for a long time. While various NY mayors pondered this great mystery, its school system went from one of the world’s very best to what it's been for the past thirty years or so. The city has tried 800 numbers, ads on buses and subway trains, recruiting from foreign countries, including Spain, Austria, and Jamaica, job fairs, and notoriously lowering the standards held by the rest of the state.

Perhaps the highly diminished status and quality of the school system is mere coincidence. Perhaps it just happened to be one of the best when it paid the most, and it just happens to be what it is now by chance, having no relationship whatsoever to the fact it pays the lowest wages in the area.

In any case, there are a few questions I’d like the answer to before I respond. First, aside from making rent or mortgage payments, how can teachers avoid living in the park? Aside from buying gas, how can we get our cars to reach their destinations? Aside from handing money to various cashiers, how can we acquire things to satisfy our capricious desires (food, clothing, medicine, and so forth)? Well, you get the idea.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Jonathan Kozol...

ought to be required reading for anyone interested in what's really going on in American public schools. Here's a great post about him and this morning's NYT interview from An Old Soul.

Thanks to Joe at Shut Up and Teach for the heads-up, and also for his kind mentions in the Advocate Weekly and elsewhere.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Priorities

It appears that the money has been moved in the president’s budget to handle homeland security and the war in Iraq, and I suppose that’s the price we pay. Nobody locally is happy that the levees can’t be finished, and we are doing everything we can to make the case that this is a security issue for us.
-- Walter Maestri, emergency management chief for Jefferson Parish, Louisiana; New Orleans Times-Picayune, June 8, 2004.

Above you see Mayor Mike and GW discussing the vital importance of taxpayer funded, billionaire-owned sports stadiums and budget-busting tax breaks for needy individuals making over 300K per year. Mike and George choose not to fritter away valuable time on crazy ideas like funding the levees that could have averted disaster in New Orleans, rising gas prices, lower class sizes, and hiring high-quality public school teachers. They don't live in New Orleans, taxpayers gas up their limos, and their kids have never attend public schools, but they'll doubtless find other means to express their deep concern.

For example, here's President Bush just yesterday, apparently hard at work composing an epic Woody Guthrie-style folk song about the flood. Also, he gave a speech.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Principal's Message


Welcome back, everyone! I know you’re all energized from your well-deserved summer break, and if you’re anything like me, you just can’t wait to get out there and get started. Let me start out by saying this is gonna be a great year! What? Yes, I know I said that last year, and we all know what last year was like. But this year is gonna be really, really good. No, not like the year before that, either.

Now let’s get down to it. The Chancellor has some important new incentives and ideas, and I know you’re gonna be as thrilled as I am to hear about them. First of all, lateness. Lateness is out. We want to see the kids on time this year. What? Well, yes, we wanted them on time last year, too. Yes, I know what happened last year, and I’d rather not…no, let’s not talk about the year before that either. So, remember, lateness is out, right there with portfolios…yes, I know I said portfolios were necessary, but that was the old paradigm…what’s a paradigm? Well...no, I’m sorry there is not a contract, but…I’m sure the Chancellor is doing..okay, let’s settle down, now…

Point number two is putting the desks in circles…now we can’t require that you do that, but the custodians will be re-arranging them like that on a nightly basis, for your convenience, so please let’s….no, I don’t know when there will be a contract, can we just…no, let’s not talk about last year.

Most importantly, let’s talk about class size. Well, no, it hasn’t changed, but…yes, of course I agree that smaller classes would be better, but here’s the thing…well, yes, but let’s focus on how we can have the effect of smaller classes without actually reducing the size…yes, I know we’re overcrowded, but…well, there are four hundred new students this year and…yes, we will be breaking more classrooms in half and…no, the new walls are not soundproofed but…no, we haven’t soundproofed the old ones, either, but have you considered that maybe some of you are teaching TOO LOUDLY…and the art of pantomime is largely neglected, so…no, I told you I’d rather not talk about last year.

Finally, bulletin boards, no, the Chancellor was very clear about how many staples to use, and I don’t want a repeat of last year…yes, I know I said I wouldn’t talk about it, but…no, there’s no contract, but that doesn’t mean…Okay, I’m going to turn the floor over to Miss Pewterschmidt, who will talk about Right to Know...yes I know you’ve heard it before, but…Miss Pewterschmidt?

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Teachers or Landlords?

Mayor Bloomberg’s contention that teachers need to raise productivity in order to justify raises beyond 1.33% a year is interesting.  I’d certainly like to see that concept applied to my personal expenses.

Have you noticed your car's gasoline working 150-200% better over the last few years?  Has your community improved its services 20%, to match your property tax increases?  Has Con Ed been offering you double quality gas and electric?  Has the US Government improved its services by 33%, to match its budget increase?  Do you feel more secure, now that your insurance premiums are so much higher?  Has that home you want to buy become 300% more comfortable over the last five years?

Well, those things haven’t happened to me, either.  When Mayor Bloomberg allowed apartment rents to go up 4% a year, he said renters should be glad the increases were so small.  He neglected to mention anything about their receiving 2.66% per year in better services from the supposedly struggling property owners.

Now, we already know what Mayor Bloomberg thinks.  What do you think--who's more important to this city, teachers or landlords?    

Saturday, August 20, 2005

EdWize-New UFT Blog

Thanks to School of Blog for the heads-up. This could be a good place to turn for contract updates, or perhaps debunking of anti-union, anti-teacher nonsense propogated by the News, the Post, and yes, the Times.

You'll find it at EdWize. Or use the handy link in the blogroll on your right hand side.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Contract Update

UFT President Randi Weingarten says Mayor Bloomberg's public pronouncement that teachers would receive a contract before the school year was just talk, and despite his upbeat prediction in late July, there have been no ensuing negotiations between the city and the UFT.

So welcome to year three without a contract. If there is any planned contract, the mayor may be timing it to maximize his political advantage. This ought to help clarify any lingering doubts about precisely what Bloomberg and Klein value in education...

Saturday, August 06, 2005

A Contract for Teachers?


Newsday ran an interesting piece entitled "As Mayor, teachers near contract, rhetoric tones down." According to Newsday, Randi Weingarten, UFT President, "who reportedly handed Bloomberg's staff a new financial proposal before heading to the Midwest, is ratcheting down her anti-Bloomberg rhetoric in anticipation of a deal both sides hope will be finalized before the start of the school year, according to union officials."

Well, the NY Times ran a similar story many months ago, and it turned out to be hogwash. Is this more of the same? Or is there a contract in the works for real this time? Should teachers accept the 4 percent over three years DC37 took? Should they demand the 10 percent over two years NYPD received? Should they allow reductions for beginners, as accepted by both these unions?

Any NYC teachers out there with opinions?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

School Choice

From the believe it or not files, a new and unorthodox disciplinary technique:

"Beating or breast for naughty pupils"

I'll probably stick with calling homes.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Bilingual Education

Few question the value of being bilingual. Even fewer know that in New York City, bilingual education is optional, and can be opted out of by parental request.

NY Times columnist John Tierney wrote a column a few years ago about a Bronx neighborhood in which, he said, kids had to attend Catholic school in order to be educated in English. This is simply incorrect.

When my 6 year old niece arrived here from Colombia, she was placed in a “bilingual” class in a Jackson Heights elementary school. From what I could gather, it was taught entirely in Spanish. She was learning English on the playground, though—I watched her struggle through the words she needed to get others to play with her. It’s particularly absurd to place young, capable language learners in an English-deprived environment. If they don’t acquire English in school and they don’t hear it at home, where on earth are they supposed to learn it?

I went to the school and asked that she be placed in a class where only English would be spoken. A strong-minded secretary took great pains to dissuade me, telling me the story of her life, the error of my ways, the wisdom of the ages, and whatever else she could think of until I raised my voice and out came the principal. We had her transferred into an ESL class, where she’d be with other newcomers but only English would be spoken. A few months later, she was fluent in English.

Bilingual education is a great idea that’s been degraded through the years. It was originally conceived as a 50-50 proposition, using half L1 and half target language. In practice, it’s sometimes taught by people who almost never use English. That’s a shame. There’s a great book called Mirror of Language by Kenji Hakuta that describes Canadian programs where groups of English and French speakers managed to acquire each other’s languages.

In Nassau, where I live, having been priced out of my school’s district many years ago, a few districts offer dual language programs. They’re so named, I suspect, to differentiate them from failed bilingual programs. My daughter has been attending one since first grade. Her class of 18 primarily English speakers is adjacent to a class of 18 primarily Spanish speakers. For part of each day, they switch teachers and must use either English or Spanish as a second language. Now entering fourth grade, the kids are pretty much bilingual.

That’s a lot more painless than conjugating verbs in tenth grade, and a lot more effective as well. Language acquisition abilities begin to decline and deteriorate rapidly around puberty, yet most districts wait till then to offer foreign language.

After reading Mr. Tierney’s column, I emailed him, telling him the Bronx parents had rights. Mr. Tierney, a strong voucher proponent, chose not to share that information with them. Last year, NY Times education columnist Sam Freedman wrote a similar piece, adding that Chancellor Klein strove in vain to help parents enroll their kids in English-speaking classes.

It's disturbing that columnists at the NY Times go public with unexamined information. And it’s remarkable that the NYC Chancellor has not yet been made aware that bilingual education is strictly optional. So you may have heard it here first—if you know kids in bilingual classes that are doing them no good, have their parents opt them out. They have every right to do so.

Monday, July 04, 2005

A Loss Far Worse than that West Side Stadium


Takeru Kobayashi has once again won the all-important Nathan's hot-dog eating contest, and the mustard-colored belt is returning to Japan. Kobayashi, at 49 dogs, is down somewhat from his record of 53.5, but up-and-coming American Sonya Thomas ran a strong second with 39.

And don't forget, Sonya has already established herself as champion in meatball eating, among other things. It's going to be a long road, but we shall prevail.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Who You Gonna Call?


A few days ago, Mayor Mike, more or less with a gun to his head, was forced to give the men and women of the NYPD a contract granting them 5% a year for each of two years. The arbitrator complained that he’d rather have given them 5% a year for four years, but was only authorized to grant a two year contract. Thus, the NYPD has a brand new contract that expired one year ago, and must negotiate a new one.

The cops were forced to give back one personal day a year, and cannibalize their young, one of Mayor Mike’s innovations, paying new recruits a princely 25 thousand a year. Police pay will max out at about 59K.

NYPD hears a lot of self-serving blather from the like of Mayors Mike and Rudy about what heroes they are, but when it comes time to pay them, neither willingly rises to the occasion. Particularly egregious was Giuliani demanding to remain in office without standing for re-election. He rationalized this naked power grab by saying he had to keep up the "morale" of police and firefighters, all of whom had vainly waited years for him to grant them a contract. NYPD, once Rudy's staunchest supporter, had already begun to demonstrate against him.

Nonetheless, through good times and bad, Rudy and Mike could always locate megabucks to subsidize billionaires trying to erect sports stadiums.

How cops are supposed to buy homes in this city is a mystery to me. Perhaps Mayor Mike plans to let them sleep in one of the new stadiums he’s subsidizing with transportation dollars.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Inexpensive Overcrowding Remedy

Mayor Bloomberg loves to take decrepit, overcrowded high
school buildings and magically turn them into small schools. Here's his recipe:

Take one school building created for 1800 kids,
currently housing 4200. Add five layers of administration.
Give each a worthy sounding name, like NY Academy of Art, for
example. Devote several classrooms to the additional administration, and dump the displaced kids in some trailers out back.

Then, add a few hundred more kids and voila! You have a decrepit,overcrowded high school building containing five impressively named academies!

Friday, June 17, 2005

"Teaching to the Test"

It sounds stark and tedious. But there are more and more tests, and more and more mandates from more and more levels of government, and someone's got to help kids faced with taking them.

At my school, we've spent a great deal of time and energy devising a formulaic approach for ESL students to pass the English Regents, and we've been very successful at that--our ESL students are passing at about the same rate as native students. For them it's a high stakes test--they can't graduate without it.

I don't much like what we're teaching them--four paragraph canned "essays" with prescribed references to a handful of so-called "literary terms." I'm almost certain that the skills we give them are useful only for passing the test. Were I teaching writing, I'd find these compositions artificial, tedious, uninteresting and unsatisfactory.

I also strongly feel that their time would be better spent improving their English language skills, oral, written and otherwise. Works of literature are chosen for their brevity rather than quality, in order to give them as large an inventory as possible with which to respond to the literature question.

It would be nice to give Governor Pataki or Education Commisioner Richard Mills six months to pass the same test in Korean, and see how they fare. But my druthers are little help for my students, few of whom wish to reach middle age while still in high school.

My daughter has been taking standardized tests since kindergarten in the form of something called the "Terra Nova." At first, I was amazed at her scores--though she couldn't read at all, she scored very high in reading. Yet she had a very low score in English. Her teacher later told me the same discrepancy applied to most of her classmates--the reading portion came first, and English last. Most of the 5-year-old test takers were too bored to pay attention by then.

Now in third grade, she was struggling this year, so I sent her to "Score," a chain run by Kaplan. She spends two hours a week working on computer programs based on standardized tests. Her Terra Nova scores improved tremendously after four or five months there. I have to recommend this place (Full disclosure--unfortunately, I'm not a paid spokesperson.) to any fellow parents freaking out over their children's test scores.

Does the "Terra Nova" test really measure important things? Frankly, I have no idea. But she takes it anyway, and fourth grade is largely geared toward taking a major test here in New York, so what choice do we have? And what choice do my students have?

If your students have a high-stakes test, you pretty much have to help them do as well as possible. And if your own kids have one, you have to do the same. If that means "teaching to the test," what viable alternative is there?

(I wrote much of this as a response to something Instructivist posted.)

Monday, June 13, 2005

Thought for the Day:

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.
-Joseph Heller

Well, why not? It makes more sense than school vouchers.

Summer's coming. I know, you're teaching summer school, going to Tibet, saving the world...but if you haven't yet read Heller's Catch 22, you ought to do so as soon as possible. There's nothing like it.

PS--This applies doubly if you happen to work for the NYC Department of Education.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I Wish Someone Had Told Me…

Practical suggestions were few and far between when I started out. I was an English teacher, with an AP who spent hours describing the difference between an “aim” and an “instructional objective.” To this day, I haven’t the slightest notion what she was talking about. She also spent a good deal of time describing the trials and tribulations of making meatballs for her parents, and other vital information.

Neither she, nor any teacher of education ever advised me on classroom control. The standing platitude was “A good lesson plan is the best way to control a class,” but I no longer believe that. I think a good lesson plan is the best thing to have after you control the class.

I also think a good lesson plan need not be written at all, as long as you know what you’re doing. If you don’t, neither the lesson plan nor the aim will be much help.

The best trick, and it’s not much of a trick at all, is frequent home contact. It’s true that not all parents will be helpful, but I’ve found most of them to be. When kids know reports of their classroom behavior will reach their homes, they tend to save the acting out for your lazier colleagues—the ones who find it too inconvenient to call. You are not being "mean" or petty--you're doing your job, and probably helping the kid. If you want to really make a point, make a dozen calls after the first day of class. Or do it the day before a week-long vacation.

Now you could certainly send that ill-mannered kid to the dean, to your AP, to the guidance counselor, or any number of places. But when you do that, you’re sending a clear message that you cannot deal with that kid—he or she is just too much for you. You’ve already lost.

And what is that dean going to do anyway? Lecture the child? Call the home? Why not do it yourself?

You need to be positive when you call. Politely introduce yourself and say this:

“I’m very concerned about _______________. ___________ is a very bright kid. That’s why I’m shocked at these grades, 50, 14, 0, 12, and 43 (or whatever). I’d really like __________ to pass the class, and I know you would too.”

I’ve yet to encounter the parent who says no, my kids are stupid, and I don’t want them to pass.

“Also, I’ve noticed that ___________ is a leader. For example, every time ___________ (describe objectionable behavior here) or says (quote exact words here—always immediately write objectionable statements) many other students want to do/say that too.”

"I'm also concerned because ________ was absent on (insert dates here) and late (insert dates and lengths here).

I certainly hope you will give _________ some good advice so ___________ can pass the class.”

If the kid’s parents speak a foreign language you don’t know, find someone else who also speaks it, and write down what you want that person to tell the parent.

If you’re lucky enough to have a phone in your room, next time you have a test, get on the phone in front of your class and call the homes of the kids who aren’t there. Express concern and ask where they are. If the kid is cutting, it will be a while before that happens again. If the kid is sick, thank the parent and wish for a speedy recovery.

The kids in your class will think twice about giving you a hard time.

Kids test you all the time. It’s hard not to lose your temper, but it’s a terrible loss for you if you do. When kids know you will call their homes, they will be far less likely to disrupt your class. The minutes you spend making calls are a very minor inconvenience compared to having a disruptive class.

If you’re fortunate enough to have a reasonable and supportive AP, God bless you. If not, like many teachers, you’ll just have to learn to take care of yourself. If you really like kids, if you really know your subject, and if you really want to teach, you’ll get the hang of it.

But make those phone calls. The longer you do it, the more kids will know it, and the fewer calls you’ll have to make.

Your AP, whether good, bad, or indifferent, will certainly appreciate having fewer discipline problems from you. More importantly, you might spend less time dealing with discipline problems, and more helping all those kids in your room.

Friday, June 03, 2005

It's the Amazing Super Mayors!!


Flash—Crime is down in New York City!! How could this be? It’s due to the hard work and amazing ability of Mayor Mike, and his predecessor Sir Rudolph!! How do they find the time to confound all the criminals who threaten our fair city? It’s a miracle!

Flash—Scores are up in New York City Schools!! Unbelievable! It’s Mayor Mike again, along with his faithful sidekick Kleinie Boy. How do Mayor Mike and Kleinie Boy do it? No one knows. They’ve managed to raise the scores of 1.1 million schoolchildren without even breaking a sweat!

Flash—fire is no longer any danger to New Yorkers!! Mayor Mike will gladly brave certain death to save you and yours, just as Sir Rudolph did when he single-handedly rescued thousands from the World Trade Center!

That’s what happened, isn’t it? Otherwise, why would Sir Rudolph be raking in millions while the firefighters are without a contract since July 2002?

And why would Mayor Mike be sitting on a 3.3 billion dollar surplus while NYPD officers, without a contract since July 2002, max out at 50 K a year?

And why would the heroic Kleinie Boy be paying 20,000 bucks a month for personal PR when the teachers have been without a contract for two years now?

There’s only one conclusion—the Amazing Super Mayors are the only ones who deserve credit for any progress. The police, firefighters and teachers have no role in this whatsoever.

Rewards are better left for truly needy folks—like billionaire Jets owner Woody Johnson, who selflessly offered to purchase prime NYC waterfront property for 25% of its value. Not only that, but he’s willing to pay a fraction of the cost of a brand new stadium for his football team.

When, oh when, are those cops, firefighters, and teachers gonna quit whining and show some productivity?