A kid, a nice kid, came into my first class yesterday morning wearing a black polo shirt that sported, in place of the polo player, alligator or whatever they usually have, big white letters bearing the charming legend seen on the left.

I hate sending my students to the dean, or anywhere else, and I can't remember having done so in at least ten years. I asked the kid "Hey, what does that say?" He reluctantly showed me. Then I said "Show it to the class." I repeated the request until he did. "Is that the message you want to send us?"

Later in the class I returned to the topic. "Hey, where did you get that shirt anyway?"

"St. Marks Place," he told me.

"Wow," I said. "I love that shirt. Maybe we could go on a field trip and get them for the whole class."

Later I brought it up yet again. "So where do you wear that shirt besides school? How do the people in your neighborhood like it? Ever been to a job interview? You gonna wear that shirt to your next one?"

I told a couple of my colleagues about this later. One said, "I would've sent him to the dean. That's absolutely unacceptable."

A region rep., right at that moment, walked into the office. I asked her what she would have done. She said she'd also have sent the kid to the dean. When a third colleague walked in, she told me, "I would have covered it with masking tape. I always carry it. Let me know if you ever need to borrow some."

I really like that idea, and regretted not having thought of it. In retrospect, though, I didn't have masking tape and I wasn't in reasonable proximity of the teacher who did.

Later, I saw the kid outside the trailers. He has a bag much like mine, but with a thicker shoulder strap. He was conspicuously using it to cover the message on his shirt. I asked him if he'd let his last teacher see it. He said no. A bunch of his friends were there. I made him show them his shirt, and asked what they thought about the message.

They didn't care for it.

So my method may have worked. Still, on Monday I'll tell him he is under no circumstances to wear that shirt to my class again, and if he does, his mommy and daddy will have to come to school to get him, his shirt, or the both of them.

Over at New York Magazine, they're plotting the future of the city. They anticipate the city will go from 8 to 9 million inhabitants.

They've given a lot of consideration to what we'll need.

We can’t just bulldoze and slap up some towers—we’ve learned some lessons from the sixties—and it isn’t just half a million new homes that we need. Those million need offices, factories, labs to work in. They need subways, buses (and ferries and trams) to commute in. They need places to park and places to play, plus the power to light their homes.


Did you notice there aren't any schools on that list? Does New York magazine anticipate that not a single one of these million new inhabitants will be under voting age? Or is that simply unimportant? My school's bursting at the seams now at 250% capacity, and we have a few hundred more coming in next year. Are they planning to just leave all the new kids with us?

While they may have learned some lessons from the sixties, they seem to have abandoned the whole learning thing sometime around 1976. Or perhaps they've determined education will be obsolete in the new world.

To tell the truth, I'm particularly irritated by this because the AC in my trailer is on the fritz. If anyone tells you that corrugated tin walls are a good way to stay cool in the summer, they probably push paper for Chancellor Klein in cozy, carpeted, air-conditioned offices at Tweed.

Ms. Goodrich’s office was the size of a large closet. It had a glass wall that separated it from the department office. On her desk were several photos of herself in running competitions. Perhaps that accounted for her cadaverous appearance. Why her teeth were like that Richard couldn’t even guess. He’d heard teachers had dental insurance.

He sat down in the ancient wooden chair in front of her desk

“Mr. Carter,” asked Ms. Goodrich, removing her reading glasses. “Have you taught before?”

“No, never.”

“Well, that’s OK.” She held up a finger for emphasis. “But you’re going to have to learn to make a lesson plan.”

“OK.”

“The first thing you need is an instructional objective. We call it an I.O. That will say what you expect the kids to be able to do by the end of the lesson. For example, kids will understand Ethan Frome’s motivation. Do you understand?”

“So far.”

“Then, you need an aim. The aim should be phrased as a question, like why did Ethan do what he did, and you must write the aim on the board every day. Can you do that?”

“I think so. What’s the difference between the I.O. and the aim?”

“Well, the I.O. is on your plan, and the aim is on the board.”

“Oh, okay.” Richard decided not to press the point.

“After you do the aim and the I.O., you need a motivation. It should be something sexy. You might ask about Brigette Bardot, for example. You’re cute, Richard. May I call you Richard?”

“Um, sure, go ahead.”

“You know, I had a rough weekend.” Ms. Goodrich began to wearily rub her eyes. “I was making meatballs.”

“Really?”

“Yes. My parents came over, and you know how that can be. So I had to make a lot of meatballs, and what do you think happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“They didn’t appreciate it at all. Not one bit. And I had to leave Michael at my friend’s house before they got here.”

“Who’s Michael?” asked Richard.

“Oh it’s a long story,” she replied. “He was one of my students. He used to wear a t-shirt every day. One day I said to him ‘Oh, how nice of you to wear a clean t-shirt,’ and then I realized it—he didn’t own any other shirts. I was so embarrassed. Anyway, he lives with me now.”

Richard couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You understand, don’t you? Because my parents wouldn’t. They didn’t even appreciate my meatballs. Don’t tell the principal. Do you like meatballs, Richard?”

The bell rang.

“Enjoy your first class,” said Ms. Goodrich, replacing her reading glasses as Richard sprinted into the hall.

Visit the Carnival of Education over at Education in Texas!

Hats and boots optional.

Here's one of the best ideas I've seen in a long time. While Joe Williams of The Chalkboard has a marginally different interpretation, I think it's an excellent idea that legislators be compelled to send their kids to the public schools they administrate.

If the schools are bad, they will, for once, have a viable incentive to improve them.

If Saint Rudy'd had to send his kids to public school, do you think he'd have suggested welfare recipients be compelled to work in public schools? For your kids and mine, Rudy thought, people chronically unable to find work are adequate role models. But Rudy's kids went to private schools, so why the hell should he worry?

Do you think it was a good idea to reduce city aid by precisely whatever amount the state increased it, whenever the state increased it? Rudy did. And why the hell not? His kids were in private school. If the public schools were a bunch of overcrowded danderous hellholes, he didn't have to worry about it.

Was it a productive for Mayor Bloomberg to fight tooth and nail in order to avoid paying any part of the CFE lawsuit, which focuses on quality teachers and class sizes more in line with the rest of the state?

Do you think it's wise, in order to artificially depress salaries, to hire any teacher you can muster through job fairs, massive publicity campaigns, 800 numbers and intergalactic recruitment?

Well, Rudy and Mike are fine with it. So is Chancellor Klein. Have any of their kids seen the inside of a public school?

Not on your life.

If their kids had to attend the schools they administrated, they'd think twice before offering low-rent, cut-rate, band-aid solutions for New York City's 1.1 million children.

No one, if you believe the front page of today's NY Times. Equivalencies? Nope. Ya don't need them either.

Who's moving on without the fancy paper sheepskin?

They are students like April Pointer, 23, of New City, N.Y., a part-time telemarketer who majors in psychology at Rockland Community College, whose main campus is in Suffern, N.Y. Ms. Pointer failed science her senior year of high school and did not finish summer school.

But to her father's amazement, last year she was accepted at Rockland, part of the State University of New York.

"He asked, 'Don't you have to have a high school diploma to go to college?' " she said. "I was like, 'No, not anymore.' "

There are nearly 400,000 students like Ms. Pointer nationwide, accounting for 2 percent of all college students, 3 percent at community colleges and 4 percent at commercial, or profit-making, colleges, according to a survey by the United States Education Department in 2003-4.

Governor Pataki wanted to withdraw tuition grants for students who hadn't finished high school but the legislature didn't buy that idea.

So the next time kids asks what they need your class for, you may be at a loss. Or will you?

Today's Daily News tells the sad story of Alba Somoza, granddaughter of charming ex-Nicaraguan dictator Anastasio Somoza, whose twin sister demanded on national television that President Clinton help her attain placement in regular classes. Apparently, that request was granted, although with questionable results:

Although Alba read at a fourth-grade level, she graduated from the School of the Future with Regents honors, because, her petition claims, the Education Department "fabricated transcripts to show grades at a high level," including an 85 in English and a 90 in math.

In 2003, when it became clear that Alba was unprepared for the classes in which she had enrolled at Queens College, the department agreed to cover three years of extra services at a cost of $1.2million to get her up to speed, the documents say.

So it can be costly when the kids don't learn. Lying about it after the fact doesn't help much either.

Alba and her twin, Anastasia, were born with quadriplegia and cerebral palsy. Their plight inspired Clinton to strengthen the equal education rights of disabled children.

Anastasia just completed her junior year as a political science major at Georgetown University in Washington.

Alba cannot speak. She communicates by tapping her chin on a computerized device. She needs two more years of school to improve her literacy enough to hold a job, said Mary Somoza, who lives with Alba in Manhattan.

It sounds like she needed help. Too bad New York City was unable to distinguish between the real kind and the pretend kind.

Who needs them, asks Mayor Bloomberg. We'll do what I want, how I want, when I want.

New Yorkers, however, are beginning to question this approach.

The criticisms about Bloomberg's control are many, including micromanagement and a disregard for the opinions of parents and teachers. Mainly, though, critics complain there are no checks and balances on the mayor. Teachers say their bulletin boards have been monitored; parent groups can't even convince the mayor to ease a ban on student cell phones.

"Mayoral control was supposed to get the politics out of school decision-making. It was supposed to be about what is in the best interest of the kids," said teachers union president Randi Weingarten, who backed the idea when it was signed into law in June 2002. "What has happened instead is that if you agree with the mayor it's fantastic. But all those parents who disagree with the mayor, they get left out in the cold, and the same in respect to teachers."

Too bad Randi, as always, was outmaneuvered by sweet-talking Joel Klein and City Hall. Ms. Weingarten was so keen on Mayor Bloomberg's reforms she enthusiastically championed a contract that denied teachers the right of presumed innocence.

Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Bloomberg and Klein will be gone in three years. Their "reforms" may very well follow.

In 2007, the UFT has a chance to send Ms. Weingarten and the Unity patronage mill packing. Let's do that, so Mayor Bloomberg knows where he can go too.

(Thanks again to Schoolgal for another tip!)

To ensure that New York City teachers work a full week longer than their better-paid suburban counterparts, Mayor Bloomberg is insisting city schools not observe Veterans' Day this year.

Oddly, the city is giving civil servants off November 10th, as is the Federal government, but hizzoner demands schools stay open. I'll bet you dimes to dollars my kid's school is closed.

As you can imagine, veterans are not happy with this, according to none other than the wacky left-wing New York Post.

Mayor Bloomberg, seen here explaining his policy to an unidentified schoolchild, was on his private jet bound for an undisclosed ___location, and could not be reached for comment.

Thanks to Schoolgal for the tip!

Here's an article that a new commenter, Mexx, pointed to.

It discusses the elusive rewards and various pitfalls of teaching, from the point of view of the author's wife, who's retiring after 31 years service.

Here are a few tips she offers:

• Never let them see you cry.

• Always follow through; always do what you say you're going to do.

• Always put it on them. She asks a hard student, "On a scale of one to 10, where do we stand on what it's going to take for us to survive together in this classroom?" She said the child invariably answers, "Six or seven." And then she asks, "What can I do to make that a 10?"

It's gratifying to have a teacher who takes an interest in your survival.

Don't miss reading the whole article.

The Mercury was a monster. It was so big that no matter how much you filled it, it was thirsty an hour later. Also, it burned almost as much oil as it did gasoline. Nonetheless, it got you were you were going. Still, Richard had nowhere to go.

That didn’t matter much because his license had expired. While he was in Europe, the date just came and went, and there was nothing he could do about it. It was time to bite the bullet. He would have to go to Jamaica, wait on line, take the eye test, and renew his license.

Several hours later, as he was taking the subway back, a poster caught his eye. There were happy people all over it. There were happy white people, happy black people, and happy Asian people. Why were these people so happy? Having just passed the eye test, he read the ad:

If you have a college degree, New York City needs you. Be a teacher.

Wow. Richard had never considered that before. Teachers were clearly happy. They had jobs, they came in all colors, and they probably had apartments instead of Mercuries.

It seemed like a great idea.

That's what I had to write about on the NTE, the teacher competency test that I was required to take to fulfill the terms of my New York certification. This is the story I told:

In 1986, I was working in a very large Bronx high school. One morning, as I was getting off an escalator, I saw two girls involved in the most vicious fight I'd ever seen. I could see tufts of bloody hair scattered over the floor.

The smaller of the two girls was on top. I decided the easiest thing to do would be to pick her up off of the other girl. But when I did that, they both came up, and as the girl I was holding had only her waist restrained, the fight continued unabated, although in a new ___location.

A small crowd had already gathered, and was slowly increasing. I noticed a very large boy and asked for his assistance. The boy obliged and approached us, but somehow, the small girl I was holding kicked the guy, who fell on his ass and went sliding across the floor.

This was when security arrived, and several guards broke the War of the Worlds into two distinct entities.

I was called to the principal, who, having no recollection who I was, introduced himself to me for the fourth or fifth time. He then sternly warned me that I should never break up a fight, because neither the Board of Education nor my health insurance would take any responsibility for the injuries that may ensue.

I passed the test.

I missed this while I was preparing the carnival, but Newsday, on May 23, 2006, pointed out that school violence was being underreported. Thanks to the Education Wonks for pointing us to this story.

I learned of this practice very shortly after I started teaching in October 1984, and I can only conjecture that increased accountability has worsened the problem. I'd be very interested in hearing from NYC teachers who aren't already aware.

However, there are well-established precedents for fudging educational statistics.

Many forget non-educator US Education Secreatary Rod Paige, who came into prominence via overseeing the "Texas Miracle," in which the dropout rate miraculously dissipated to vitually nothing. This was accomplished through the time-honored practice of cooking the books, and its reputed success helped President Bush to nearly defeat Al Gore in the 2000 election. Among Mr. Paige's other accomplishments are paying off journalists to shill for his programs and declaring the NEA a "terrorist organization."

So why are the Gloomy Guses at Newsday suddenly begrudging our principals a few helpful falsehoods?

Follow the amazing adventures of President Bush.

Thanks to reality-based educator.

The principal saw a kid breathlessly running to Ms. C's class, and not for the first time. He wondered why so many students were constantly doing this, while scores of of others strolled lackadaisically to their classes, with no regard whatsoever for time.

He stopped the student, and asked, "Why does everyone run so fast to get to Ms. C's class?"

The kid looked at the principal as though he'd just fallen off the turnip truck. "Because Ms. C. smack you if you're late."

That afternoon, the principal called Ms. C. to his office.

"Ms. C., I hope you're not going to tell me that you're striking the students."

"OK," she said. "I won't tell you."

He gave her his stern look, which he'd been practicing, to great effect, in the office mirror . "You're not going to tell me you've been hitting the kids."

"Of course not," she replied. "You just asked me not to, so I won't. Excuse me, but I have to go pick up my daughter."

Ms. C. grabbed her bag and ran out. The principal went back to the mirror to practice his look, which clearly needed work.

I occasionally get students from China who tell me they were taught long length makes for good writing. This does not conform with my views on good writing, and sometimes creates conflict.

One student in a Chinese university has taken this to the extreme, producing a 100 page, 100,000 word resume.

One of the many perks of not being management is not having to read such documents.


(via)

Frustrated? Kids a little out of control?

Why not stab one of them with a scissor?

That oughta quiet 'em down.

It's Open School Night. With his son right beside him, a father said to my colleague, "Could you just give my son a 65? He's not very smart."

The teacher then asked, "Have you seen his report card?"

"Well, I've been a little busy."

"I gave your son an eighty," said the teacher. "Would you like me to change it?"

"No, that's OK" replied father-of-the-year, and walked out, his thoroughly humiliated child following closely behind him.

Eva Moskowitz, yet another in the new breed of "progressive" self-styled education experts, is working hard to eviscerate unionism. What Reagan started in the 80s, demagogues like Moskowitz hope to complete.

Listening to Eva, who seems never to have crossed the Nassau border, you'd think there's just one way to build good schools--the wholesale destruction of teacher unions, one of the last bastions of vibrant, active organized labor.

You may recall her from her one-sided harangues against teachers back when she was a mere political hack, before her aspirations were rejected by city voters (the same ones that have now been deemed unfit to decide whether they want lower class size).

Eva supported Klein's 8-page contract, which increased hours, did not increase pay, eliminated all workers' rights, and, for the kids, struck down all limits on class size. Despite the fact that no union could have voted for such a contract, she chastised Klein for not insisting on it.

She then composed a one page contract for her city-supported charter giving herself the right to fire anyone, at any time, for any reason. Why? Because she, apparently, has such poor instinct in hiring, she feels it's the only way she can keep her job.

Since NYC has not seen fit to pay a competitive wage since well before they hired me, I've worked as an adjunct for CUNY for the last 16 years. While they do occasionally make errors and fire people, they at least grant us contracts each semester. Anyone who signs Eva's one-sided"contract" is too stupid to teach.

Unions are the only viable protection for working people. This country, with idiotic, self-destructive "right to work" laws blanketing the red states, is moving ever closer toward the oligarchy we'd find, say, in Mexico. Perhaps we don't need immigration legislation--soon it may not be much worth it for Mexicans to cross our borders anyway.

It's preposterous to heap blame for the state of NYC education solely on working people. To do that, you have to ignore the city's thirty-year policy of hiring virtually anyone with a pulse, and granting tenure based on the ability to continue breathing.

That's precisely what Moskowitz did in her kangaroo-court style hearings, so celebrated by the virulently anti-labor, teacher-bashing New York City tabloids.

We don't need Eva Moskowitz to demonstrate that schools can be run Wal-Mart style. For those who'd make the ridiculous argument that efforts to better conditions for working people ignore the needs of kids, I must point out that said kids must grow up in the society we create for them. My kid, ten years old, sometimes speaks of being a teacher. I think she'd be a good one, and I'd like the job to still be worth doing if she decides to follow up.

Cross the Nassau border and you'll see scores of well-run union schools. In fact, we used to have them in New York City before various administrations determined hiring on the cheap was more important than seeking quality teachers.

If this is what charters are all about, you can keep them. Where I live, we have good teachers, small classes, and decent facilities. No one even discusses charters because we don't need them.

And, like all working people, we don't need the likes of Eva Moskowitz either.

Drugs

Why are all those teachers so happy (and so hungry)? The Education Wonks will fill you in on their little secret. And what on earth has US Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings been taking that's inhibiting her mathematical skills?

Rock and Roll

Ms Cornelius, our intrepid and fearless heroine, selflessly battles the pink robots (including, at no extra charge, a brief musical interlude courtesy of Oklahoma's favorite non-country band, the Flaming Lips).

Violence

You might not believe who the new school bullies are. Get on the Bus with Scott Elliot, and while you’re riding, examine whether a historic 1923 school is worth saving.

Don’t ever forget to read Mamacita at

Scheiss Weekly (just as it says). She always has something well-worth reading, and this is no exception.

If Three Standard Deviations to the Left hadn’t sent me this post, I’d have put it up anyway. Check it out.

A favorite of mine, Graycie at

Today’s Homework, waxes nostalgic about her graduating seniors.

The Daily Grind ponders late work here, here, and here.

Doctoral candidate and always thoughtful Jenny D. has a serious question for choice advocates.

Truth and Justice

Chemjerk brings us a true tale of how science can be used for catching evildoers who cheat on tests.

The Cranky Taxpayer says Virginia is enabling Richmond’s violations for truancy laws.

Schoolme, the LA Times’ new education blog, wonders whether $57 and 20 hours of community service is a tad harsh for tardiness. Don’t miss the twist at the end. And check out Alexander Russo’s interview with Schoolme’s Bob Sipchen.

High school student

Schuyler Hall alerts us that LA Unified is not taking the attempted hostile mayoral takeover lying down.

Brad of the HUNblog gets on his soapbox with an impassioned plea for early childhood education, as well as the unsettling suggestion the good old days were not all they're cracked up to be.

Greg at Rhymes with Right worries about schools arbitrarily determining what is “inappropriate” behavior on the net.

Does Size Matter?

Joe Williams at The Chalkboard seems to think it does.

These folks think so too.

But not everyone agrees.

And A History Teacher wonders, whatever the size may be, where can you put it?

Numbers

The math world is all abuzz about integrated math, much maligned, but is it working? Matt from Scholar's Notebook gives us the lowdown.


While we’re discussing numbers, hop over to Kitchen Table Math and take the very cool Executive Function Self Test. Delve more deeply here.

Darren and his math class demonstrate once and for all how multiculturalist lefties are destroying the world.

Speaking of which, here’s Mr. Radical himself, JD2718

RU4 Real?

The Super has a creative solution—funding schools via selling the lottery to the highest bidder.

Spinmile at EdzUp introduces a fresh feature: the New Teacher Diaries.

Reality-based educator gives us the good news—yet another turning point in Iraq.

Life’s Mysteries

Ever wonder how to create a science fair project?

When are you gonna get a life, anyway?

Do early academics help kids?

From your friendly neighborhood elementary history teacher—who was our first President? It’s not who you think.

And when are we gonna learn, as The Art of Getting By so ably points out, that it's “not whether you win or lose, it's how you avoid playing the game.”

Learning to Teach

Ms. W. can’t decide whether or not to stick with teaching. Run, don’t walk, visit her and offer some encouragement.

Mrs. Bog blogs from the bog, with a few Thoughts and Questions on Student Teaching.

Eduwonk discusses a study about National Teacher Certification.

Here’s a Teaching Update from Science and Politics

Laura Huertero shows us how to utilize a six line review to help kids write.

And Let’s Get it Right has an interview with E.D. Hirsch.

Teaching to Learn

Going to the Mat suggests we can prepare kids better for inevitable hours of high-stakes testing.

Me-Ander, meandering all the way from Israel, is happy to take a break.

The Nerd Family wonders whether testing is necessary.

The Wandering Visitor, a real, live medical doctor, chimes in with a post called Always Learning, which suggests that the student-teacher relationship depends largely on the enthusiasm of the student.

Some people grow attached to boxes. Others sit in them, seal them with packing tape, and ship themselves off to exotic places. But of all the boxes in all the gin joints in all the world, there are simply no boxes like Drop Down Boxes. Why? Marcia Adair reveals all.

Sandra tells us about a pilot program in Tennessee.

One Very Special Teacher

HuffEnglish tells us about a teacher who’s retiring after 69 years. Let’s wish her well.

Wow. And it's only Tuesday.

Did you know that you'll get drunk faster if you use diet drink mixers?

I gotta wonder about serious drinkers who are watching their waistlines. But I guess it's the American way.