That was the question in my beginning ESL class yesterday.

"Apples," said the first kid I asked.  Ask her, I told him, pointing to a girl in front.

"What's your favorite fruit?" he asked her.

"Chocolate," she replied without hesitation.

"Chocolate's not a fruit," I told her.

"What is it?" she demanded.

"Chocolate is chocolate," I replied, authoritatively.  "Actually I think it's a bean."

"I don't like beans," she replied.  "Are tomatoes fruit?  I like tomatoes."

"Well, yes they are, technically.  But most people think they're vegetables."

"I don't understand," she said.

"Neither do I," I admitted.   "Ask him, please."

She turned to the boy on the other side of the room.

"What's your favorite fruit?" she asked.

"Hamburgers," he replied.

And I'm not talking novels here. No, I'm talking about those rumors about teachers that seem to start out of nowhere and reify infinitely in the popular imagination.

It's pretty clear to me the Mayor hired me to enact my business theories.  When there are layoffs, companies have to do more with less.  In New York City,  I'm poised to take over an inefficient company.  There are simply too many employees, and product is not always of the best quality.  For example, we have a lot of teachers, and their product often takes more than four years before it appears on the shelves, or what do they call it?  Graduate?

Well, under my administration, we're going to shoot toward having appealing product ready in three years.  That will cut production costs by 25%, a savings we can pass on to stockholders.  It's unacceptable to raise taxes on our high-earning stockholders like the mayor and Whitney Tilson, who keep their eye on the bottom line

Employees who wish to stay on will have to become indispensable.  Who's that person raising his hand, saying, "I'll teach that extra class," or "I'll add a dozen extra products to my workstation."  That's the sort of employee who brings value to the system, and we need to capitalize on attitudes like that.  Who will come in early and bring the principal a newspaper, a cup of coffee, or a hooker?  Who will stay after and paint that room, or fix that boiler for the sake of the company?

Second, you have to have a good attitude.  Let's dispense with all these grievances, sick days and related nonsense and get employees to get that product out.  I hear, in some schools, 50% or more of product is not getting out.  Those offices are not producing and have to be closed.  It's important to turn out as much quality product as possible, and we can't hold onto those who are gonna whine and moan, oh, the product wasn't prepared, is missing parts, or doesn't function properly.  Ask yourself, how can I get the product ready and onto the shelves, where it can be useful to consumers.  I want our product out there being used, whether it be in retail, in offices, or whatever.  I want Bill Gates to say, wow, that's a lot of product we're getting in New York City

Finally, you have to be seen.  Mayor Bloomberg is very busy, doing whatever he does in that office, and we need the employees out there showing how much they want to produce for him.  I want to read how happy they are, how they love pushing out product, how they can't wait to increase production by 18%, or whatever goal we've selected.  I want them to stop whining, "Oh, everyone else got a contract, why can't I have one?"  That's juvenile.  If you can push 40% more product, then maybe I'll give you that raise.  It's a new paradigm here, and I want to see employees first in, last out, giving everything they can so the company will produce.

Sure, people feel bad when you close down an office.  But you have to put the best face on it possible.  No one wants to see 50 empty desks.  That's why we'll move out the desks, or bring in someone who can move quality product.  Pretty soon everyone will be focused on increasing production, and we'll be pushing more product than any major city.  That's why they brought me in, and that's what I'm gonna do.

We'll do whatever it takes to get that product out there.

Here's the subtext of what he told the AFT Convention:

A little toe-tapper about new chancellor what's-her-name.

Man, if I hear that song one more time I will puke.  My kid sings it, my students sing it, and I treasure every moment I don't have to hear it.  The Onion reveals Justin Bieber to be a 51-year-old pervert.  Those of us who've listened to enough Bieber need not consider the source...you know what I'm talking about...


Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

 Over at Public School Parents Blog, Steve Koss makes some very interesting points:

Consider first that Ms. Black's prior education credentials, as now being reported in the New York Times, appear to consist of having once attended a mentor day with Michelle Obama at a Detroit school, and having once been the figurehead "principal for a day" at a Bronx school. Add to this the fact that she just joined the HVA National Leadership Board "a few months ago" and has yet to actually attend any meetings. Throw on top of that the information that the co-chair of this advisory board (along with singer John Legend) is Rupert Murdoch, a multi-million-dollar contributor to HVA, and top it all off with the announcement that Joel Klein is taking an education industry, strategy-related position at Murdoch's News Corporation.

Now this is clearly remarkable.  Can you imagine getting a job in an industry based on your membership in an organization whose meetings you didn't even attend?  Koss has me thinking there.  He loses me, though, when he says this:

This writer is not given to conspiracy theories in general, but the timing and interconnectedness of it all, added to Mayor Bloomberg's disturbing secrecy in acting seemingly entirely on his own, to fill a VERY public position, certainly generates some interesting questions and intriguing possibilities.

I know a few people who embrace conspiracy theories, and I'm afraid Koss is a rank amateur.  First of all, for a conspiracy theory, this is not nearly far-flung enough.  There doesn't seem to be anything attributable to mere coincidence.  It's almost like someone gives their kid a job, you label it nepotism, and call yourself a conspiracy theorist. Does that, in itself, earn you the title?

Frankly, I'd say Koss needs work if he want to establish conspiracy theories.  For example, if he wanted to work out a good one in this case, he'd start from the premise that Ms. Black is qualified to run the largest school system in the country.

That could certainly form the basis for some wild-eyed theory, and some people are doing a good job putting out just such theories.  For example, Mayor Bloomberg spun a real doozy of a tale about an extensive search for an appropriate candidate, a tale no one seems able to verify.  Now I'll admit that, since it appears the Mayor sought the council of no one and simply did whatever the hell he felt like doing, it doesn't seem much of a conspiracy.  But the story, at least, has no evidence whatsoever to support it, an important starting point if you want serious consideration as a conspiracy theorist.

As things stand, I'd have to say Koss' story is far too much credible to label him a conspiracy theorist.   Perhaps he should start from scratch.  Otherwise, I'd have to advise him he's utterly unsuited for the conspiracy theory racket and advise him, with all seriousness, to simply keep his day job.

Truth be told, making Koss a conspiracy theorist would be as ridiculous as, oh, making a magazine executive Chancellor of NYC Schools.

I was chatting with Mr. Eyre this evening about the new schools chancellor, Ms. Cathie Black, and the news conference in which she was warmly welcomed yesterday. Being the big-hearted person that I am, I stated that I would be withholding judgment on Ms. Black for the time being. Yes, she has no experience as an educator, but Lincoln didn't have any experience as a President either, and that turned out all right. Sure, I would have preferred someone with some meaty education experience. But I'll probably have plenty of time to grow to dislike her later if she turns out to be more of the same, so for right now, I'm going to listen.

The resignation and rapid replacement of NYC Schools Chancellor Joel Klein is surprising, but likely not meaningful.  Frankly, even with him selling whatever remaining shreds of integrity he may have to Rupert Murdoch, the Post can't really get any worse. More to the point, Mayor Bloomberg approved of Klein, and approves his replacement, what's-her-name (who probably attended school sometime, somewhere and is therefore qualified to run the nation's largest school system).  The likelihood of any change in policy hovers around nil.

Sure, we won't have Joel Klein to kick around anymore, but he's hanging around until the end of the year, to offer guidance to the newest non-educator handpicked by the richest man in New York City to run schools his kids would not attend on a bet.  The new chancellor's kids were educated in private boarding schools, so it makes perfect sense.  Yet another person running schools not good enough for her family to patronize.

Here's what it means for teachers--nothing whatsoever.  The idiotic baseless policies Bloomberg loves will continue.  Bill Gates will continue to decide what's good for 1.1 million schoolchildren, and the pointless and demoralizing school closings will continue as planned.  The baseless value-added nonsense will be pushed by a new chancellor with no education experience, and the pipe dreams and silver bullets that typify the plans of this administration will go on unabated.

In short, meet the new boss, same as the old boss, now with more hair but spouting the same absurdities.

Oh, the Post. Apparently Rupert Murdoch believes that only hedge fund managers and himself are entitled to make comfortable wages, ones that might allow them to support a family on less than, say, 80 hours a week. Since teachers have finally proven their collective worth by holding a car wash on a weekend to pay for lost supplies, Murdoch's minions had to find a new target: school custodians.

...if you dare, at the ICE-UFT blog.

Even as the full-force propaganda war against unionized teachers marches on, those at PS 197 are taking matters into their own hands.  Because of extermination procedures, they ended up losing schoolbooks and other supplies. 

While the Tweedies hem, haw, and scratch their overpaid, non-educator craniums, the teachers have taken action, running a weekend carwash to raise money to replace them.  They don't have time to wait for results of some idiotic study or drawn out investigation because their kids need help, and they need it now.

In case it's not yet clear to anyone reading this, these unionized teachers clearly put children first, unlike the pencil-pushing bureaucrats ostensibly in charge of the school system.  Doubtless most readers of this blog know that already.  What would it take for the general public to find out that gazillionaires like Bill Gates and the Wal-Mart family haven't got a clue as to what really goes on in public schools?

A tsunami?  Can we point it toward Tweed, please?

Illustration by David Bellel

Over at Perdido Street School, they're pointing out that Klein's DOE wants to release names of teachers and their value-added scores.  According to them, the public has a right to that info.

Odd then, that they don't want to release the names of schools infested with bedbugs.  According to them, it isn't a problem because schools contain very few beds.

The school grades are out again.  Naturally, they cover only one year rather than multiple years, so there's no allowance for ebb and flow.  Elite schools get Bs, and less desirable schools get Bs too.  And schools that get low grades are simply closed, because schools cannot possibly be improved and must be destroyed with extreme prejudice.  Then they're broken up into four or five academies, with all new kids, and if one should do well, it's absolute proof that Chancellor Klein is a genius.

But it's not all the work of Chancellor Klein, as all closures need the approval of the important Panel for Educational Policy.  This vital group was created to replace the often dysfunctional Board of Education.  To improve the unreliable Board, the mayor gets 8 of 13 appointees, and any one that doesn't vote the way he wants is fired before the vote takes place.  In Mayor Bloomberg's eyes, apparently, that represents democracy.

To make sure everything is on the up and up, 85% of a schools letter grade is based on scores.  That way, no one will be favorably prejudiced by your champion football team, or the fact that you take on a disproportionate number of special ed. or ESL students.  And to be fair, you get compared directly against academies and charter schools that have few or no such students, let alone those with truly extraordinary needs.  Kids like those are dumped into the remaining large schools so that they can be closed with all due haste.  We need to charterize, privatize, and small size-ize ASAP.

And then when the new schools stink, we'll just close them too and ship the kids somewhere else.

And no matter what happens, no matter how many test gains fade into nothingness, neither Michael Bloomberg nor Joel Klein will be accountable for a single solitary shred of their utter failure to improve New York City schools.

...for children and grown-ups alike. As you probably know, the high school "report cards" were released yesterday by the DOE. There was much celebrating at TMS2, where the grade was an A. But, as usual, I'm uncomfortable with the release of the school report cards for a couple of reasons.

There's an interesting piece in the Daily News speculating as to the erosion of power in the UFT. Ironically, it shows UFT President Mulgrew with John Liu, likely as not elected as a direct result of the UFT's help.  (And I'm reading that UFT-supported Tony Avella won, too, coming back from over 20 points behind, so people may think twice about our demise.)

The UFT is far from dead, but its leadership, particularly ex-President Randi Weingarten, has not been able to refrain from weakening it since Mayor Mike got in.

They supported mayoral control, an unmitigated disaster for teachers and union, and then supported it again come renewal time. Aside from earning the admiration or teacher-bashers like Rod Paige for Ms. Weingarten, I fail to see the upside in that. Mayoral control as practiced here amounts to dictatorship. Though voices like Patrick Sullivan add spice to the PEP, they're essentially a rubber stamp. Its majority are mayoral appointees subject to being fired if they dissent.

Last year, the UFT failed to step up and oppose Mayor Bloomberg.  This was an egregious error.  There's not one iota of gratitude in this man for our neutrality, and had we taken the bold stand of opposing him, we might have someone less hostile in City Hall.  

UFT leadership supported a contract in 2005 that gave away absolutely every professional gain city teachers had made since I started in 1984. They stood firm against value-added, then supported it becoming part of state-mandated evaluation. They participated in a value-added study with Bill Gates, saying it was vital we be part of that conversation, and then helped negotiate a value-added rating system before the study had concluded.

I've seen Randi Weingarten in action, quick on her feet when she visited my school. It was abundantly clear she was the smartest person the room, which makes me scratch my head every time I see yet another lackluster media performance from her. Then, she invites Bill Gates to be keynote speaker at her convention, and not only encourages but also participates in ridiculing working teachers who don't appreciate the self-styled education expert.  Union hacks preached it was smart to engage our opponents.

Of course, it's wise to engage your opponents.  Talk to them.  Try to make them see the light.  But Bill Gates is an enemy of public education, constantly spouting ideas that have no basis in research.  While they delight his corporate buddies like Eli Broad and the Wal-Mart family, they benefit neither working people nor their children.  You don't see GW Bush giving the keynote at the Democratic convention, and you shouldn't see the biggest "reformer" in the nation addressing the AFT either.

If we're dying, we have no one to blame but ourselves. It was not Joel Klein, much as his megalomania compels him to take credit. In fact, we enabled Joel Klein, who suggested and therefore created Michelle Rhee.   It's time for the UFT to stop celebrating demagogues who delight in the firing of teachers based on nonsense.  It's time for the UFT to stand up to Rhee, Klein, Bloomberg, Obama, Cuomo, all the idiot filmmakers, and all the mythology left in their wake.

In short, it's time for us to be a union again.   Let's continue to make bold steps like getting behind Tony Avella.  Let's continue to support those who support us, and for goodness sake, let's vigorously oppose those who don't.

This post at A Shrewdness of Apes got me thinking about suspensions, not that I haven't been thinking about them already. After the dirrrrrty girl fight last week, the young ladies involved both received in-school suspension, as is the standard procedure here in New York. The thing is, I've never really seen a suspension have an impact on a kid's behavior. Maybe that's what a suspension is--an admission that we don't know what else to do with a kid.

Tomorrow, you have a choice. You can vote for anti-union corporatist Cuomo. Or you can vote for frothing at the mouth Carl Paladino.

I'm voting for Green Party candidate Howie Hawkins for Governor. If the Greens get 50,000 votes, they get a party line. New Yorkers need an alternative, particularly since Working Families have sold themselves out for Cuomo.

So I urge you to vote for Hawkins as well. We need to vote for someone, and I won't vote for Cuomo simply because he does not appear to be so raving a lunatic as his main opponent.

Howie Hawkins is pro-teacher, and pro-union, like me. If the Democrats want our votes, let them give us candidates who don't hate us and everything we stand for.

Or is that too much to ask?

Halloween is always a big event in my household. My daughter's a teenager now, and which costume she should wear has become progressively less contentious as my wife and I play little to no role in the selection process. But trick or treating has faded in our neighborhood, and though I've got a giant bag of candy just in case, I wonder whether I'm tossing away cash for no reason.

My daughter has no such doubts. In fact, from a school trip Saturday, she texted me repeatedly to remind me to buy candy. I was wondering why she was so concerned when my wife clued me in. Last year, going to pick her up at an evening program my daughter was in, she was shocked to find a huge crowd blocking her at the door.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"It's your daughter," someone replied.

Panicked, she pushed her way to the center of the crowd, to find my daughter, with a pen and a notebook, collecting 50 cents a piece for leftover Halloween candy and carefully noting sales records. Apparently she turned my $10 investment in candy into about 50 bucks. My wife asked, "How can you charge so much for this?"

"Let them go to the supermarket if they want to get it cheaper," was my daughter's answer.

For my wife's friend and two kids, there was no discount, even at my wife's request. A buck and a half. My wife got my daughter back by making her pay for her own lunch the next day. Everyone in my house is a businessperson except me.

Ridiculous question, of course.  But when you look at this Charlie Chaplin footage from 1928, it appears otherwise.   The thing is, if it isn't a cell phone, what the heck is it?

Like, the New York Post called me?  And they were all like, dude, can you write us a column saying to release the test scores?  Because, like, the union is wrong and we're right?  And I was all, like, bitchin', dude!  But they were, like, the New York Post, so I was all, hey, I don't support all that uncool politics, like, Rupert Murdoch and stuff?  But hey, I thought like more people would read it, so I was all like, hey, let's do it, dude!

But then it came out, and it was all, well, I was all for releasing the scores because, like, not releasing them could make the union look, ya know, bad and stuff?  And like, I want to look good.  So then I was all, like, hey, let's release the grades, but let's let people know that there's other stuff we do in schools, like learning and stuff, which I, ya know, think is way cool.  And that, like, I don't just give tests in my class, but that we do all this other stuff that's mad cool.  And like, the other day, I was, like, absent, so I stayed home and watched TV and the next day they were all, like, hey dude, where ya been?

So anyway, what I want to say is, like, I want to be one of those reformer guys?  Like, I could make up cool new stuff to do in schools and get paid for it and then I could tell everyone else to do all the cool awesome stuff that I do?   And we could, like, go out to lunch and stuff?  So, anyway, they released my grades and they weren't so good, but this makes me want to make my next grades totally AWESOME, dude.  And so they should do that for, like, everyone?

But they should be, like, careful when they do it.  And the Post piece made it look, uhhh, like I didn't want to be careful but I definitely do, dude.  Actually they, ya know, said I want them to be careful but I'm just writing this so I can, ya know, say it again?  So anyway, just because I'm in the Post saying we should release the scores don't think I want to just, you know, do it, because I think we should be, like, careful, you know? 

And, like, I just want to say that dude over at South Bronx School, was like, not nice, and like, I've been, ya know, thinking and stuff?  And what I think is, like, the world would be better if people were nicer.  You have to give Joel Klein a chance, because, like he might have some good ideas, and you can't just be, like, don't release all that data just because it's invalid, or close all those schools with no plan to improve them.  It's because I, like see both sides at the same time, because I'm, like, complicated?

So while scores are, like, gnarly, even if mine are not so good? I just want to say that while I support them, they just need to be careful, and the Post article was all like, saying that but I just wanted to, like, say it again, kinda like I didn't say it before? 

Like, thanks, dudes.

Oh happy day, it's time for parent-teacher conference season! As we prepare that first round of report cards, we're also bracing to meet the parental-type units of our many lovely darlings (especially our loveliest ones, if you catch my drift). Is it arrogant to admit that I reread my own advice on dealing with parent-teacher conferences? So be it. I just did.

That seems to be the prevailing philosophy of Mayor Michael Bloomberg.  After all, he once called the notion of extending term limits "disgusting."  However, when polls told him he wasn't gonna be President in 2008, it suddenly became a little less disgusting.  This mayor is an independent, of course, and renounced the Republican party to become one.  This notwithstanding, when his failure to become President necessitated manipulating a third term, he had yet another change of heart and ran as a Republican.

Now, of course, the Mayor wants to vote for term limits.  This is significant because it affirms his clear belief he, and he alone, should be able to change rules--which only apply to him if and when they serve his purposes. After all, NYC voters twice affirmed term limits.  Only someone with as much money as he has ought to be able to weasel around that:

George Orwell put it well in his sardonic book, “Animal Farm.”  He wrote:

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

And now Mayor Michael Bloomberg has shown us that Orwell wasn’t far off the mark.  In 2009, Bloomberg, through his superiority in power and money, strong-armed the City Council to pass a law overturning the ban on more than two terms as mayor. Now, the Mayor has reversed himself.  He will vote for a two-term limit for everyone else — even as he continues in his third term.

He has affirmed that, in the political jungle of New York, he is the one animal more equal than others.

Quite true, and the mayor doesn't even bother hiding it. Three for me, and two for everyone else.  Of course, in three years that could change.  The third term, this time, was an emergency.  Bloomberg said only his economic expertise could help us sail through these rocky waters.  Of course, that wasn't the real emergency.

To Michael Bloomberg, an emergency entails Michael Bloomberg not getting what Michael Bloomberg wants.  Don't rule out another emergency in 2013.  And be wary if the UFT says 2013 will be better.  Bloomberg could buy another term for himself, or hand-pick someone even worse.

Or maybe a teacher-friendly Democrat will get in.  I've been waiting for that to happen since 1984.

InsideSchools reports that gaining admittance to the elite high school of one's choice is not necessarily a dream come true. Funny that piece should come up for me today. I have a student in that very same situation.

The Daily News reports that some principals think it's a bad idea to publicly name teachers and release their evaluations.  You might think one LA teacher's suicide might be persuasive enough for most, but certainly not for crusading "reformers" like NY Schools Chancellor Joel Klein.

"We are going to lose good teachers," said Elizabeth Phillips, principal of Brooklyn's Public School 321. "Why would they stay in this profession and be publicly humiliated?

This is particularly likely in the case of new teachers, precisely those whom Klein wants to target by denying them tenure.  That these tests were not designed to measure teachers is neither here nor there.  That there are cases in which teachers have not even taught those kids for whose scores they are credited is also utterly irrelevant.   And, of course, the luck of the draw, who gets the best kids and who gets the most difficult, is of no importance whatsoever.

Who's going to volunteer to teach the toughest kids in the building when their jobs are on the line?  And, it appears, even if you do a good job, the idiotic metrics used to score you could end up stabbing you in the back:


As usual, the geniuses who design the measuring system make no provision whatsoever for ebb and flow.  Things have to go up all the time, or teachers are failures.  If every student isn't passing by 2012, every school is failing.

Even more amazing is this:

New York State's Committee on Open Government Executive Director Robert Freeman cited a legal precedent set by the Buffalo Board of Education's decision to release employees' home addresses. A judge found they had the right to do so.

I don't know about you, but I don't share my personal phone number or email with my students, let alone my address.  I've heard many stories of angry parents confronting teachers at their classroom doors.  Does anyone need a crystal ball to imagine what will happen when home addresses of teachers are plastered all over the papers? 

Doubtless when some vindictive student or parent assaults a teacher at her home, every editorial board in NYC will find a way to blame the union.

It appears yet another of former part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten's deals has gone awry.  Ms. Weingarten agreed to have value-added grades used privately, yet the DOE, on the heels of the propaganda film,  decided to make them public.   This would certainly lessen the odds of first-year teachers from becoming second-year teachers, as the infinitely wise Tweedies plan to fire them based on these metrics.

Apparently Ms. Weingarten did not learn anything when the DOE routinely denied sabbaticals one year, necessitating a lawsuit to compel them to follow their own contract.  Nor did the botched ATR deal suggest bad faith to this leader.  The abysmal experience with mayoral control and failure to amend it in any significant fashion led Ms. Weingarten to demand its renewal.  The awful 05 contract was supposed to earn us 25/55, but Ms. Weingarten decided to throw Mayor Bloomberg not only 27/55, but also 17 extra years of 3% salary deductions for new teachers.

Sadly, current UFT President Michael Mulgrew appears to be following in her footsteps.  After having won a lawsuit to block the closing of 19 schools, Mulgrew agreed to the co-___location of several schools which will surely hasten the demise of the ostensibly "saved" schools--rendering the UFT's lawsuit largely pointless.  As a follow-up, he helped bring "value-added" to all NY State teachers.  Never mind that "value-added" has not been demonstrated to have any validity whatsoever.

The latest wrinkle in this revolting situation is the city's agreement to postpone releasing names.  Yet that brings to mind the school-closing lawsuit, which simply delayed the city's doing whatever the hell it wanted to do.

How many times does the DOE have to lie to us before the UFT realizes they cannot be trusted?  Postponement is not good enough.  The UFT has to stop this.    Yet even if the UFT should win the lawsuit, the DOE will turn it into a PR triumph demonizing teachers yet again--one that could have been avoided if we'd refrained from making this preposterous and pointless agreement in the first place.

It's time to start learning from our mistakes.  It's time to stand up for our members.  If our union doesn't do it, it's a good bet no one else ever will.  Do or die time, Mr. Mulgrew.

So the DOE has decided, unilaterally, to release teacher data reports to the public despite earlier promises that the reports would be confidential. If you saw this coming, raise your hand!

No thanks.  A lot of teachers seem to do so, but not me.  Three teachers just got fired over some rather extreme allegations, and I know people who've been sent to the rubber room for way less.  It's hard  to understand adults in positions of authority who hit on high school kids.   There's not a whole lot you can say on their behalf.

Fortunately for outfits like the NY Post, which love stories like these, NYC teachers don't actually need to do anything to be accused of such actions, and since 05, they can be suspended without pay for simply being accused.  I've heard of at least two instances of teachers being falsely accused, being suspended without pay, and then cleared.

Innocent though you may be, the 05 contract renders city teachers guilty until proven otherwise.  Judge Judy asks, "How do you tell if a teenager is lying?"  The answer--"Her lips are moving."

I don't friend students on Facebook, and I'd advise you not to do so either.  Simply having done that could potentially bolster a false claim against you.  Now that there's no rubber room, I suppose they send you to file papers somewhere.  But in the case of a sexual accusation, you could be sitting home without pay or health insurance.  To me, it's not worth the risk.  Also, I don't really want to know what my students do on Facebook.  That's their business.  Mine is making them learn English.

Do you friend students on Facebook?  Is it really worth it?

Since Carl Paladino is, by some measures, down as much as thirty-five points against Andrew Cuomo, I'm not sure how much point this blog post might have. But since I gave 90 minutes of my life to watching the gubernatorial debate this eve (I must subconsciously believe I'm still a social studies teacher), I figured I'd follow it up with a blog posting about everyone's favorite opponent of men in Speedos bumping and grinding (CLEARLY the biggest problem New York State faces), Carl Paladino.

Alec Baldwin loves that propaganda film.  He says it's "monumentally important."  And he knows that, apparently, because he sat through the whole thing.  Baldwin seems to feel no one has ever made such a statement before.  This is particularly valid if you've ignored every identical statement, beginning with "A Nation at Risk," and haven't ever heard of obscure figures like Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Eli Broad, Michael Bloomberg, or the Walmart family.

Baldwin pulls no punches, telling it like he appears to believe it is:

Whether or not teachers' unions are partly to blame is open to discussion, but Guggenheim's film casts a light on that perspective. And once you get a peek at New York City's "Rubber Room" for outcast teachers, you may never view the NEA and the AFT the same way again.

This is a monumentally important film. My father was a public school teacher for 28 years and I can think of few other areas in our society that deserve this type of urgent scrutiny right now. See Guggenheim's film, which opens in theaters this weekend.

How does Baldwin suppose we will now view the NEA and the AFT?  Is he perhaps suggesting that viewing the defunct and therefore unviewable rubber room will somehow give us a positive impression of teacher unions?  That seems highly unlikely.  But not to Baldwin, whose follow up is decisively titled, "Raising Awareness of Flaws in Education is Not Union Bashing."

That's true, of course, but it certainly seemed Baldwin expected people to take a dim view of our unions.  By the way, promoting views that are anti-union, particularly when they're based on false premises, well, that is union bashing.   But Baldwin has harsh words for those with the temerity to refer to his union bashing as "union bashing."

If you read union bashing into that, then you have a problem. An education problem. 

Apparently, if you don't share the same views as Alec Baldwin, you aren't educated.  Oddly, I never learned that in school.

So let's review.  Baldwin said you may never view the unions the same way.  It's really hard to see how anyone could take anything but a negative view, given the evidently awful rubber room that Baldwin doesn't seem to know is closed.  Or perhaps, because his dad was a public school teacher, he feels he couldn't possibly be speaking against school teachers.  This cannot be questioned because no child in the history of civilization has ever had a harsh word for any parent, ever.

Still, it's ironic to be lectured about "an education problem" by someone who has not the remotest notion of what really goes on in NYC schools, someone who not only gets all his information from a propaganda film, but also appears to demand we all do likewise.

Get married at McDonald's for 400 bucks.

I've long wondered what the hell makes anyone in New York buy such a thing as Domino's pizza, no matter how many cheesy poofs they include with it, or whatever free toppings they toss in, on, or around.  In fact, when I think of the crap they sell, along with Pizza Hut and Uncle John's, the following video from The Onion seems absolutely plausible.


Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Yesterday I did my patriotic duty and showed up for jury duty.  It seemed like a good idea, since I'd already put it off once and if I didn't show they'd probably have come and put me in jail and stuff. 

So I showed up bright and early, sat in a room for hours ( seemed like more hours that it actually was).  I'd forgotten to bring a book, which was a big mistake.  However, I soon became one of those people who sits engrossed in a cell phone.  I'd always wondered what makes people do that.  Evidently, it's the utter absence of anything else to do or think about.  I never experience that at my job, though there are times I wish I would.

After two or three hours, I got called.  They put us in a bus to take us to a courthouse.  In front of me, I could see a young woman with a Blackberry posting, "Jury duty effing sucks," on Facebook.   After they put us in a large waiting room, I began texting very similar messages to some friends at work.   Man, jury duty really makes you appreciate your job.

They called me up, and the judge asked if anyone had any experience with DUI.  I raised my hand and said I had a friend who'd been convicted multiple times.  The judge excused me, and they sent me out to lunch for 90 minutes.  (This particular aspect of jury duty was one I could readily support.)

20 minutes after lunch they moved us into a room, had us fill out a survey, and sent us home.  Look for my next jury duty report in about six years.  

Mayor Michael Bloomberg, to his credit, stated there was no room for the intolerant attitudes sported by the GOP gubernatorial candidate.

"We're a melting pot here in NYC," stated the mayor.  "We don't care where you come from, or what your sexual orientation is.  We have respect for absolutely everyone.  Except public school teachers.  That's why we gave all city employees raises except for them."

When asked whether that statement was discriminatory, the mayor sharply disagreed.  "We don't discriminate against teachers," he insisted.  "Whatever color they are, whatever religion they practice, whoever they spend their time with, we treat them all the same.  We don't get any input at all from them on how to run our schools, but blame them completely when our reforms blow up in our faces.  Hey, don't get on my case about it.  Go watch Waiting for Superman.  Watch Oprah.  Everybody's doing it."


Several public school teachers, personally interviewed by our crack staff at NYC Educator, affirmed the veracity of the mayor's words.  "Yes," said one, who spoke on condition of anonymity.  "Mayor Bloomberg really does treat us all like crap.  Not just some of us.  He doesn't talk to us and he doesn't care what we think.  In fact, he doesn't even negotiate with us.  He announces to the press he's giving no raise, even though the Taylor Law requires him to negotiate in good faith.  He says that's to prevent teacher firings, but then Klein says they're going to fire teachers next year anyway."

When asked whether the chancellor harbored any prejudice, the teacher shook her head in disagreement.

"He treats us like crap too," she assured us.  "Every last one of us."

DC Chancellor to Rhee-sign at end of month.

During a get-to-know-you activity with some kids after school, we played a Cranium-type game. I didn't tell them this, but I'd found it in my classroom towards the end of the year a couple of years ago and my efforts to track down the owner were unsuccessful, so I kept it. The game set was in perfect condition, except, as I discovered when we sat down to play last week, the rules were missing.

Joanne Jacobs writes about a Facebook campaign, undertaken by kids, to clean up Newark Schools.  The kids are upset that the schools are dangerous, and infested with rats and insects.  In fact, the kids walked out in protest.  I don't blame them.  No one should have to endure such miserable conditions when going to school.

There's recently been quite a commotion about Facebook founder Mark Zuckberg's 100 million dollar contribution to Newark schools.   The donation was conditional upon faux-Democrat Cory Booker taking control of the schools, something real Republican Chris Christie was all too happy to accommodate.  But as Joanne points out, "reformer" Rick Hess is not happy:

It's hard for even far-seeing union leaders to convince veteran union members to accept reforms to evaluation, tenure, or pay policies. It's much easier if they can tell their members that such changes are what it will take to unlock new funds. 

It's a little tough for me to see how changing evaluation, tenure, or pay policies will help solve the gang, rat, or insect problems that plague Newark schools.  Tougher still is figuring why anyone would be concerned with "reforms" before addressing such elemental issues.  However, I'm just a lowly teacher,  not an educational expert like Rick Hess.   In fairness, it's possible that expert Hess simply ignores the realities on the ground, or hasn't actually bothered to examine them before favoring us with his important opinions.

And Hess can't solely be blamed for that, as it's entirely typical of the conversation in this country, initiated by billionaires like Bill Gates and the WalMart family.   Of course, their causes have now been championed by thoroughly ignorant public figures like Oprah Winfrey, Davis Guggenheim, and John Legend.   While few, if any of them, actually know what goes on in public schools (let alone send their kids to such places), they're universally willing to apply Bill Gates' untested and/ or discredited prescriptions without any critical thought whatsoever.

Personally, I'm not sure how to get rid of rats, aside from voting them out of office.  But I'm fairly certain merit pay ain't gonna cut it.

A friend of mine told me her son, when asked what he wanted for his birthday, has repeatedly requested a jetpack.  Unfortunately she was unable to find one, even in toy stores.  But it's her lucky day.

Apparently, you can now buy your own jetpack, for the low price of a hundred thousand clams.   Why should your kid have to watch Thunderball and envy James Bond all those cool gadgets?

So parents all over may now opt to screw the college fund and give their kids a little fun for a change.  After all, in Barack Obama's USA, it's pretty tough for grads to find a job no matter what they do.

But if you really want to be a stick in the much, you can save the hundred K, and go 15 minutes for a mere 215 bucks.   That's actually quite a bit more than James Bond used it, and he just stashed it in a car trunk afterward.   I wonder whether a James Bond car would cost as much as the jetpack.

Any teachers out there driving James Bond cars?  Do you need them around your school?  Or is the system not quite so bad as Davis Guggenheim says?

I read all over the net about the benefits of working for charter schools.  You have the freedom to design your own curriculum, and the freedom to spend all the time you like doing so.  You're free to talk on your school cell phone whenever parents call you.  You're free to be fired on the spot for telling people what UFT teachers earn, or for reporting special education violations.

Here's something that you haven't heard before--you're also free to lose two months pay for missing two days of work.   UFT teachers haven't got that option, what with that nasty restrictive contract holding them back.   And it doesn't matter that those were two days students didn't attend.  Without a contract, the charter can do any damn thing and they can rationalize it any damn way.  For example, they can say there's nothing you can do about it because the teacher resigned.

It doesn't matter that you took a summer job and they only notified you about those extra days weeks earlier.  The important thing is you have the right to be penalized almost $5,000 a day for missing work.  You don't have the right to earn $5,000 a day when you actually show up, but you can't have everything.

Oh, for the freedom to work with no guaranteed pay, no seniority protection, no recourse from the whims of greedy insane employers, and no more restrictions from that nasty old contract.

A friend of mine who's a music teacher at a school upstate recently held auditions for her school choir. She was delighted to see how many students came to auditions. She welcomed the students, explained how the auditions would work, and assigned each student a number at random to determine the order in which they would audition.

In an extraordinary bout of good sense, the United Federation of Teachers has decided to endorse Tony Avella for NY Senate.  It's extraordinary because Avella is a pro-teacher candidate who may actually speak for us at a time when many pols are in the bag for educational "reforms" that not only fail to benefit schoolchildren, but also bludgeon unionized teachers simply because they're unionized.

This is important because we will need friends in Albany, and it's quite clear neither Paladino nor Cuomo intends to be one.   So there's Silver, but he will need a little help in the Senate, and we will need a few honest pols to help balance the ones DFER and their hedge fund buddies have managed to buy off.  Padavan won by 500 votes last time, and I'm hopeful the UFT will be able to turn that around and accomplish something worthwhile.

This is precisely what the UFT should've done with Bloomberg last year.  We can't fix that, but we can help get at least one reasonable, decent person in Albany.  I'll be volunteering for phone banks at Queens UFT, and if you're in the area, I hope you'll do the same.

Maybe if we win this one we can convince the UFT to make a habit of actively supporting pro-teacher candidates.


Photo stolen from Pissed Off Teacher

If you haven't seen this post at The Jose Vilson, you should--not just because of Jose's brilliant (as always) commentary on the situation, but the lively and revealing comment thread that follows. Fans of Jose's will know that his writing almost always provokes thoughtful responses, but this one is especially salient.

Tom Friedman, who showed an incredible lack of foresight about the Iraq War, is applying his expertise to education.  Friedman thinks there needs to be a third party in American politics.  I found this intriguing until I got to this line:

We have to rip open this two-party duopoly and have it challenged by a serious third party that will talk about education reform, without worrying about offending unions...

Actually, we already have two parties that talk about education reform without worrying about offending unions.   In fact, we've got one union, the AFT, which far from being offended, actually invites Bill Gates to be the keynote speaker at its convention.  And the thanks it get for that is having its president vilified in a propaganda film lauded by Oprah, NBC's so-called Education Nation, and the usual suspects.

However, the usual suspects now include the President of the United States, ostensibly a Democrat.   So why do we need a third party to echo the anti-union, anti-teacher sentiments of the GOP and Democrats?  I guess you'd have to ask Tom Friedman, for whom doing the most cursory research is an inconvenience.

That's a fundamental problem with journalists who already feel they know everything.  And regrettably, Friedman is representative of a trend.  It's kind of galling to see scores of bumbling incompetent journalists not only making many times our salaries, but also having the audacity to preach about merit pay, charter schools, or whatever Bill Gates has on his mind this week.

Don't expect to see a panel on Oprah addressing that issue anytime soon.

It's not all clever but contradictory nonsense by corporate propagandists like Davis Guggenheim and his faux-Democrat buds.  Juan Gonzalez and Rick Ayers discuss just how inaccurate and misleading they are:



Also, don't miss Ayres' great piece over at Huffington Post.  Finally,  here's some oddball who deems it appropriate to say thank you for what teachers really do.

Gail Collins watched the propaganda film, yet refrained from going out and burning down the home of a teacher.  That's what we can call progress these days.  Yet those who get their news from the tabloids already think we're a group of satanists, probably don't need to see the film to buttress their prejudices, and will go on hating us and everything we stand for regardless.

But it leaves me hopeful that thoughtful people without agendas may actually watch the film and seek other news sources, rather than blindly accepting the union-busting agenda of the privatizers.

Charter schools, please, stop. I had no idea you selected your kids with a piece of performance art that makes the losers go home feeling like they’re on a Train to Failure at age 6. You can do better. Use the postal system. 

Frankly, that sort of drama is unconscionable.  Every kid deserves a good school, despite the fact that Bloomberg and Klein have thrown up their hands and done nothing to provide them.  But vilifying teacher unions makes good soundbytes, and more importantly, makes people look the other way.

...halfway through, the narrator casually mentions that only about a fifth of American charter schools “produce amazing results.” 

In fact, a study by the Center for Research on Education Outcomes found that only 17 percent did a better job than the comparable local public school, while more than a third did “significantly worse.”

That doesn't sound like Superman to me.  Collins concludes it's time to save real public schools, and I couldn't agree more.   Me, I'm waiting for mass sanity.

I sure hope it comes soon!