Dad Says He Is 'Devastated' His Daughter Is Having Her Stepfather Walk Her Down the Aisle at Her Wedding

"I’m assuming he will also be the one to have a father-daughter dance," the dad said

Bride and father walking down the aisle
A bridge being walked down the aisle at her wedding by her father (stock image). Photo:

Getty

A father is contemplating skipping his daughter's upcoming wedding because she chose her stepfather to walk her down the aisle over him.

Writing anonymously to The New York Times' "Ask the Therapist" column, the man explained that his daughter, 37, is getting married for a second time at a church, where he said "traditions are in play."

Further detailing that his daughter's mother "divorced me 36 years ago," the father said he "was an active and present dad" and he has "a good relationship" with his child, but she has "asked her stepfather to give her away" during her nuptials.

"I’m assuming he will also be the one to have a father-daughter dance," the man continued, adding: "This has crushed me. I didn’t say anything to her other than, 'Oh, okay.' But I was devastated."

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Bride and groom wedding Cake Decoration
A bride and a groom cutting a wedding cake (stock image).

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Continuing to air his grievances about his daughter's wedding and her stepfather's involvement, the dad said he is considering skipping the event.

"I don’t want to go and watch this other man (my ex and I had a foul divorce with much anger) walk my daughter down the aisle or dance with her," he wrote.

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And though he admitted that he is aware the ordeal is "not about me," the dad said he can't help but feel "hurt."

"I also don’t think it’ll be that crushing to her if I’m a no-show," he added.

wedding guys
Men gathered together at a wedding (stock image).

getty

As the father asked if he was "being childish, or are my feelings justified," Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist, responded, offering the man differing ways to look at the situation.

"These traditional fatherly roles — walking the bride down the aisle, sharing a dance — can carry enormous emotional significance for some people," Gottlieb wrote, before adding, "But there’s another way to look at this."

"Given that your daughter wants her stepfather’s involvement in her wedding, it sounds like he has been a warm and meaningful presence in her life. Could you step back and appreciate him not as a rival or replacement in your daughter’s life, but as a positive addition for her?" the best-selling author questioned.

"She has two present, caring men that are invested in her well-being, which for her might feel like a gift. Can you see both your fatherly roles as a collaborative investment in her life rather than as a competition?" added Gottlieb.

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