Khloé Kardashian Admits She 'Sheltered' Kylie and Kendall Jenner from Nastiness of Lamar Odom Divorce to 'Preserve' Their 'Innocence'

There's a lot Kendall and Kylie Jenner weren't privy to during the fallout between Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom.

On the season 6 finale of The Kardashians, Kylie and Kendall sat down with their sister to debrief the emotional reunion she had with Lamar earlier this season. The conversation, which saw Kendall offer some criticism for how Khloé handled the conversation, also provided some new context on the relationships the younger sisters had with the former NBA player.

"There’s so much that you kept from us — in a good way, not in a bad way, cause we were so young," Kendall, 29, said. "It was so rated R, I don’t expect anything else. But it’s interesting because Kylie and I actually don’t know a lot of it."

Kylie, 27, agreed with her older sister, and added of Lamar: “I feel like he really was a huge part of the family and like a big brother to me. We had a silly, funny relationship."

In a confessional, Khloé, 40, admitted that she “sheltered” Kendall and Kylie from a lot of details during her divorce because they were young — but also because she knew how they looked at Lamar, 45.

"I didn’t wanna ruin that for them and I just wanted to preserve as much of their innocence as I could," she said.

By that point, Kendall had told Khloé that she "could tell [she was] shut off" during the reunion with her ex-husband — her first since their 2016 divorce, which came after his near-fatal drug overdose.

"It wasn’t that you were being blatantly mean or rude, it was just like, are you thinking people are gonna judge the way you handle it? Or is it that you’re more guarded? I don’t know," she said.

"I see such a hostility still and almost like a — there’s definitely a wall, definitely a coldness," Kendall said of her sister in a confessional. "I’m sure it’s anger. I’m sure there’s so many reasons as to why."

Khloé admitted that she “started getting really anxious without me even noticing it” when she was with Lamar. “The tardiness, the sweating, things that maybe are triggers for me. And I just was like, I have to get through this," she explained.

She continued, “Maybe I’m so used to people nitpicking the smallest gesture I do, and I’m like, I don’t want anyone to read into this too much cause it’s not like that, but also a lot of it is a defense mechanism that I just am like — be a bitch.”

Kendall acknowledged the "trauma" Khloé was put through by Lamar — and by her more recent ex Tristan Thompson too — but still said, "At this point, for yourself, I would almost say, you have to find it within you to forgive. You don’t have to forget."

The advice was "frustrating" for Khloé to hear, who said in her own confessional that Kendall and Kylie "don’t really understand" — and part of that has to do with how much she sheltered them from.

"Anyone that knows my situation or has been in my situation would be a different version of themselves this many years later. It would be foolish not to be. You have to protect yourself and grow," she said.

Still, the mom of two admitted, "I don’t disagree with Kendall. I think I definitely could have been nicer, or my tone could have been softer. But also, there’s so much going on. I can’t even explain the emotions, the thoughts — the very last time I saw this person was very contentious and negative. It wasn’t good. So, no, is this my best moment in life? No."

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Season 6 of The Kardashians can be streamed in full on Hulu.