Suni Lee Pens Emotional Essay About Her Incurable Kidney Disease: 'I Will Never Be the Same Suni'

Suni Lee's strength knows no bounds.

Lee penned an emotional essay for Women's Health about the "hardest parts" of living with anincurable kidney disease — and how she's managed to become "a stronger Suni than I ever thought I could be."

The Olympian, 22, said she felt she was at her "lowest low" when doctors informed her that her kidney disease would keep her from pursuing gymnastics. "It never occurred to me that it could happen to someone my age or someone as healthy and fit as I was," Lee wrote.

"But in that moment, when everything came crashing down, I also felt my greatest surge of determination," she continued. "I saw the challenge laid out before me, and I faced it head-on. I thought to myself, just watch.”

While Lee hasn't revealed her specific diagnosis, she previously told SELF magazine that she had "gained, like, 40 pounds" and had swelling that "affected my whole body and how I looked and how I was feeling." According to the gymnast, the disease is uncommon and has no cure.

Lee's mind was "racing" in the beginning and she was "so afraid that I wouldn't be able to compete again," she said in the essay. "It was heart-wrenching not being able to do the thing I loved. Gymnastics is my safe space," she wrote. "Whenever I’m working through anything emotionally, I go to the gym and work it out. It’s my therapy. It’s my sacred place.”

In August 2023, the gold medalist announced that she would be ending her college career at Auburn due to the disease, later opting out of the World Championships Selection Camp as well. Lee was ultimately able to compete in the 2024 Paris Olympics, where she took home one gold and two bronze medals.

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One of the "hardest" parts of living with her disease is "knowing that I will have it for my whole life." Lee wrote. "It will never go away, and I have to face the fact that I will never be the same Suni I was before everything happened."

There were days when Lee would "leave the gym in anger" and felt "determined to quit," she shared.

"But then I thought about little Suni and the big dreams she had," the Olympian continued. "And I knew I couldn't let that little girl and her big dreams down. So I kept pushing, kept putting one foot in front of the other — every day a little stronger, every day doing my best and nothing more or less.”

“These days, I'm taking some time for myself, without the pressure of a huge goal, for the first time in my life," Lee revealed.

As she finds herself "exploring new passions, like fashion and acting," Lee said she's learned she'll "never be the Suni" she was before, "because I am a stronger Suni than I ever thought I could be.”