Woman Moves Ahead with Solo Trip to Europe After Friend ‘Refused to Commit’ to a Travel Itinerary

A woman has moved ahead with a solo trip to Europe, after months of waiting for her friend to commit to their planned getaway together.

In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------" forum, the 23-year-old wrote that she had been planning a solo backpacking trip across Europe for her graduation when her 22-year-old friend Avery mentioned that she’d be interested in joining. 

Though she said she was initially “excited and liked the idea of having company, especially since I’ve never been to Europe before," the woman explained, however, that she was the one planning all the details of the trip from the very beginning.

After telling Avery she wanted to go for three weeks, the woman said the friend countered her, expressing that she was interested in doing two, which was accepted. She also wrote that her top priorities for the trip included France and Italy, but she was “open to adjusting.”

“I sent her itineraries, researched hostels and figured out logistics. She mostly responded with excited TikToks but wasn’t actively planning,” the woman then explained.

The biggest issue eventually took hold when getting the trip together came down to the act of actually booking it. After months of asking Avery to find flights, the woman said she “kept delaying saying we should book hotels first, or that she needed to check with her parents or sort out her summer job.”

“Last week, I put my foot down and told her that if we wanted to go in early June, we had to book ASAP before prices went up,” the woman continued. “She promised we’d book that weekend … then nothing happened.” 

She also acknowledged that the friend's travel styles are different, which only added to the problem. While she was seeking a “high-end backing trip staying in female-only hostels, meeting new people and keeping a flexible itinerary,” the woman stated that Avery had other ideas as to how the trip should go. 

“She suddenly decided she was too scared of hostels and only wanted to stay in hotels, which made the trip more expensive,” the woman said. “She also insisted on pre-booking every flight, train, and hotel, while I wanted some structure but also the freedom to be spontaneous, maybe deciding last-minute to go to Switzerland instead of Croatia, for example.”

After back-and-forth discussions, the pair landed on simply visiting Spain and Croatia. “Two places that weren’t even on my top list,” the woman clarified, however, adding: “I wanted to visit multiple countries, but she didn’t want to go to Italy and insisted on only two destinations.” 

The woman further detailed that Avery’s plan was to spend 10 days in Spain and four days in Croatia, which she said felt “way too slow-paced."

Amid all the back and forth, the woman said she "felt like my grad trip had turned into her ideal vacation."

"I wanted an exciting, spontaneous adventure — one of my last chances to do something crazy before settling into my career," she continued. “Instead, she was pushing for a structured, rigid trip that felt like something I’d do with my mom or a retired couple.” 

After the woman said Avery “still wouldn’t commit,” and the flights were getting more expensive as time went on, she decided to book her trip alone. 

However, the action did not go over well with her friend, the woman said. “When I saw her yesterday, she told me she was finally ready to book. I told her I had already made plans to go solo, and she got really upset saying I hurt her feelings and she couldn’t believe I’d do this to her," she wrote.

“I feel bad because I know she was excited,” the woman continued. "But I also gave her months to commit."

In the comments section of the Reddit post, various users shared their views on the situation and offered advice.

“You weren’t ditching her, you were escaping trip purgatory,” one user wrote. “She had months to commit and just kept stalling. At some point, you had to choose between waiting forever or actually going on the adventure you wanted. She can plan her dream structured trip next year, and you can live your best spontaneous backpacker life now. Win-win.” 

Another user chimed in, saying, “If she was really committed to the trip, she would have booked flights when you said. She wasn’t really committed but liked the idea of being committed to a European trip.” 

“You gave her months!” one other person added. “She had plenty of time. It sounds like she wanted you to plan her trip, not your trip together. Enjoy your solo adventure.” 

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Another user, meanwhile, was able to see both sides of the situation, writing that the woman was in the wrong "for not just telling her about your decision, even once you’d booked, and waiting for her to come to you excited to finally book tickets before breaking the news.” 

She did side with her, though, "for sticking with the trip you originally planned and opting out of an incompatible travel companion and the trip they wanted to turn it into."

"Frankly you should’ve done this much sooner, as soon as you two realized you wanted very different travel styles," the commenter added.