Woman Says She Doesn’t Want Her Boyfriend to Move in with Her and Her 3 Kids: ‘We're Better Off Staying in Our Separate Places’

A woman isn't hiding her true feelings about combining living spaces with her boyfriend.

The 35-year-old wrote on Reddit's "Am I The A------?" forum that her 41-year-old boyfriend wants them to live together, but she doesn't think it is a good idea — especially as a mom to three young children.

Detailing that she owns her own home and her boyfriend rents his place, the woman said her partner will already stay at her house five or six nights a week, where he is messy, leaves clothes around and doesn't do the dishes.

"Meanwhile, I have a lot of order in my house, and mess kind of gives me anxiety," she continued.

Further explaining, "I think we're better off staying in our separate places," the woman added, "I love him, but those things will cause too much resentment. I'm never legally getting married again, and he knows it, so why not continue as is?"

Looking at the relationship her boyfriend, who has never been married and doesn't have any kids, has with her children from a previous relationship, the woman said they don't always see eye to eye.

"He's picked up a few things food shopping once, and when the kids went to eat it, he flipped out," she wrote. "I tried explaining that if he moved in and we were truly becoming a family, whatever is bought is bought."

"He still said, 'It's not unreasonable for me to buy my own stuff and expect no one to touch it," the woman continued, adding: "It's frustrating when I'm running around cleaning up and taking care of everyone."

In the comments section, Redditors questioned the woman, with many suggesting that by staying there most nights a week, the boyfriend has essentially already moved in.

"He just wants to stop paying for his space," one person wrote, as another said, "He sounds like a hobby you cannot afford. Or maybe this is an adult adoption deal?"

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

One defender of the woman, however, wrote, "There are men who are ready to join a family with children and men who are not, and that's okay. The ones who are not are not the men for you. Don't keep welcoming this person into your children's safe space."