Woman Says Her Husband of 8 Years 'Resents' That She Asked Him to Pay Half the Bills for a Car They Both Use

A woman says that she thinks her husband should cover half the cost of her car bills since he decided to sell his own vehicle and now uses hers — but she says he “resents” the request.

The woman detailed her situation in the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A------?” where platform users can go to seek advice on tricky interpersonal situations. In the post, the woman shares that she and her husband — both 32 —have been together for eight years. She says they each used to own their own car, but that he decided to sell his “a couple of years ago.”

The Redditor says that while she didn’t like the idea of sharing her car, her husband’s decision “made sense” because his car was “old” and repairs were getting expensive. She also says that the place they were living at the time was near quality public transportation, which her husband used. 

The original poster (OP) adds that she and her husband planned to eventually move to a more rural area and that she “made it clear” that she wanted him to get another car at that time. 

However, the OP says that while they moved to the more rural area nine months ago, her husband has yet to get another vehicle. She admits that while they “make it work,” she still drives him to and from the nearest train station each day so he can commute to work and that she generally always lets him borrow her car whenever he needs it. She also says that they split gas “proportionally.”

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“The issue,” she continues, “is with money for the car insurance/ mechanic fees.”

The OP says that she thinks the fees should now be split evenly “as we are equally [dependent] on the car,” but he thinks they should be split “proportionally” as he says he uses it less.  

The woman says her husband now says he will pay half the fees, but he claims he “resents” it. She also shares that he often takes back the offer to contribute equally when they fight. “We earn roughly the same, although he does earn a bit more,” she says, adding additional context.

In an edit to the post, the OP also clarifies that all other household expenses are paid equally from a joint account but that car expenses have always been paid separately since they each had their own vehicle when they first met.

Many of the woman’s fellow Reddit users said they did not think she was in the wrong for feeling like a 50/50 split was fair — especially because he is dependent on the car.

“NTA [not the a------],” wrote one person. “He's being ridiculous. Tell him he has two choices. He can pay 50% of all car expenses or he can [...] Uber to the train station and rent a car when he needs one. He's ignoring how much it actually [costs] to own a car and benefiting greatly from the fact that you're paying all the bills.”

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“NTA. He’s been relying on your car for 9 months—50/50 is more than fair. What does he mean by proportional? Has he been keeping a tally of every time he's used your car?” agreed another person. 

The same person added: “But honestly, this whole argument is petty af. My wife and I do 50/50 as do many modern couples. But this is ridiculous. There’s always give and take in relationships. If he thinks he owes 1/7th of the maintenance because he only drives one day a week, where does it end? ‘I was on vacation, so I’m not paying my half of the electricity?’ Come on now. You’re both in your 30s. And you're also married.”