Woman Thinks She's Changed Her Mind About Wanting Kids but Is Afraid to Tell Her Husband: 'I Feel So Guilty' 

A woman says she thinks she’s changed her mind about having more kids, and she’s worried she’s “screwed over” her current partner.

The woman detailed her situation on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnet. In her post, she explains that she already has children from a previous marriage, and that she met her current husband about a year after her divorce.

The original poster (OP) writes that she and her current partner were 27 when they met and that she was “doing 50/50” parenting with her kids’ dad at the time. She says that her current husband is an “amazing partner and [stepdad],” and that her children “adore him.” She also says that her current husband doesn’t have children of his own but has always said he would like at least one. The OP, meanwhile, writes that she has always maintained that she would also like at least one child with her current husband  “to complete our family together.”

The problem? The OP is now 32 years old and unsure that she actually wants to have another kid.

The woman explains that while she was initially “devastated” to only get to be with her children half the time and feared she was “missing half their childhoods,” she has actually grown to appreciate and even like the 50/50 dynamic with her ex.

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“I've kind of gotten past the sadness [of 50/50 parenting] now, and actually see that there are advantages to co-parenting,” she explains. “Like time to myself, space to just be an adult, go away as much as we want, meals out without the kids. I've grown to not just tolerate it, but love it. I don't really know if I want to give that up. I don't know if I'd be a good mum 100% of the time when I'm so used to having space and time for myself.”

The woman says that she has reassured her husband that she does still want a child with him, but admits that she secretly “just doesn’t know.”

“[...] If I say I've changed my mind now, I've wasted 5 years of his time,” she continued — and also could potentially lose him after he and her children have built “such a beautiful close bond.”

"I just feel so guilty and don’t know what to say or do,” the woman writes at the end of her post.

Post commenters strongly urged the OP to tell her husband how she really feels — and to do so soon.

“You’ve got to tell him today and accept it graciously when he wants to split up. He should have his chance to be a dad," said one person.

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“Be honest with him NOW,” added someone else. 

Another person said: “Tell him exactly what you have said here. I think you have articulated it well. And I understand the conundrum. You love your life now, and if he didn’t want a child you wouldn’t be pushing for it. But you love him and want to make him happy. [...] As you know having a baby is a life changing event and not something to do just to please someone else.”