I have the years and the age to retire. I just owe some money for my first few years that I hadn't paid into TRS and wanted to get some clarification.

Back in the good old days I was able to dial the Bronx UFT and either a) get through to someone at the switchboard, or b) call the pension people directly. Not anymore. The UFT has a new way to avoid your calls. It's non award winning concierge service. 

On October 26 I decided to make place the phone call to the Bronx UFT. I got the concierge service and promptly placed on hold.

I placed the phone call while on the Deegan at Fordham Rd. No one picked up until I was up on Elmsford where you get onto I-287 from the Thruway. I was then told that I would hear back from someone within 48 hours. It took a week. I got a date for a consultation. November 17. In person. In the Bronx. 

I'm excited and scared at the same time.

As much as I can’t stand the DOE and what it’s done to me, I’m looking at retirement with trepidation. It’s like I’m losing my identity. For 25 years this is all I have known and been. It's not that I got my identity from being a teacher, but this all I have known for 25 years. My year doesn't go from January to December, it goes from September to June.

I feel I need to decompress for at least a year after I retire from the DOE. It's the same feeling I had during my 3020a hearings. After the hearing I needed down time and stopped at IHop each night. I will need more than IHop.

My firsts choice to move to some cabin in the Adirondacks or the Catskills where my nearest neighbor is 5 miles away. I would live in this cabin for a year completely off the grid. I will forage and hunt for my food each day and chop wood for fire and heat. I will grow my hair long and have a manly beard. But this is just a fantasy.

My other dream is to live in Corning for a year or two (I lived there for about 6 months in 1986. In fact I nearly caused an international incident there. I must share one day). Kinda like reliving my youth, but this time as a so called "responsible" and "mature" adult. I figure I can sock my pension away and sell cars to
pay my bills. I've always wanted to sell cars. Or sell anything. Maybe I could be a greeter in Walmart. 

If Corning doesn't pan out there is always Binghamton or Hudson to live in. I really like both towns. But selling cars. 

I can't do the Florida thing. One more retired Jew from New York moving to Florida has become a stereotype. I used to ask my dad about why he hadn't retired to Florida. His answer was, "Florida is death's waiting room." Yeah a waiting room with the 4:30 early bird special.

I doubt I will retire anytime soon. My son is a junior in college, and he has another year to go. Also, I am not retiring without having another gig lined up. Part of me wants to write the book the late, great, Stu Schmelz and I discussed writing: "We Can't Make This Shit Up!" Just like Sparky Lyle and Graig Nettles had in their last years with the Yankees I can as well in my last year with the DOE. 

Something hit me as I was writing this. I'm sure there will be people I still communicate with and see. I don't think I will wither away in the night. But then there are people I was close to but will never ever see again due to distance or whatever reason. Sad.

Let's see what happens and what I hear on the 17th. Maybe I will hit mega millions.

I have been thinking on how to handle all these accusations that have befallen me the last week and how to fix the hazarai that I unintentionally created. What can I do? 

I thought about it long and hard driving up to Ithaca yesterday. Suddenly, a light bulb popped over my
head when I stopped in Hancock NY. I promptly contacted The Crack Team and instructed that at least 10 members (We need at least 10 to have a minyan) meet me in Binghamton. Hancock being about 45 minutes from Binghamton forced The Crack Team to charter a jet and meet me at the Spieidie and Rib Pit on Front Street just off of I-81 in Binghamtom. The Crack Team had shared with me that they had planned for such an occasion and on this blog post for the first time ever,  some of the evil planning will be revealed

The Crack Team has not only a mole within in the UFT and Unity but has surreptitiously bugged the Unity Election War Room. All what you are about to read took place on Monday, November 1, 2020 the day after a certain blog post that had been posted but since deleted. 

Names have been changed to protect the evil.

Larry the Lobster: Did you read Zucker's blog last nigh?

Squidward: Yeah, we are fucked. XXXX is going to be part of this so called coalition.

Pearl: We are. What are we going to do?

Mr Crabs: We have to call out the big guns. I have placed a call to Plankton and Man Ray. We will have them do our dirty work while it will keep our hands clean and we will have plausible deniability.

A few minutes later Plankton and Man Ray enter. All Unity members greet them with raised fists and chant, "All bow to the evilness of Plankton and Man Ray."

Mr Crabs: Welcome Plankton and Man Ray, what evil plans do you have for our enemies?

Plankton: We have already begun our evil plan against the others. On November 7, 2021 I will leave a paper bag of doody on the leader of XXXX's doorstep, light the bag on fire, ring the bell and run away. The leader will be forced to stomp out the fire and only then will realize he had fecal matter all over his feet. 

Mr Crabs: Excellent and diabolical! That plan will surely make the leader of XXXX  run away and hide. Man Ray, what is your plan? 

Man Ray: My plan is pure evil. I will make several phone calls on November 8 to (inaudible) and ask him, "We are calling from the electric company and doing a survey. Is your refrigerator running?" When he answers "Yes!" I will tell him that he "needs to go and get it! (An evil laugh is heard on the audio). 

The next day I will call (Again, inaudible), and ask "Do you have King Arthur in a can?" These two phone calls are what we in the evil business call "psych ops." (Inaudible) will be left to a shriveling shaking mass, left to sucking his thumb in the corner and rocking back and forth.

Plankton: Who gives a shit about (inaudible)? (Inaudible) is just a bit player, no one really takes (Inaudible) seriously!

Man Ray: No, you dick! (Inaudible) is the glue that holds them together. 

Plankton: Fuck off Man Ray! 

At this point Plankton and Man Ray start to brawl. Plankton's Karen comes in and starts to mock Plankton for getting his ass kicked by shouting, "You are not a real man!" Mr Crabs just sits back with an evil laugh and knows that all is going according to plan. The gloves have come off of Unity. It is now a fight of Good vs. Evil.

Come back to these pages as The Crack Team deciphers audio obtained from the Unity Election War Room and continues to debrief it's Unity mole.