When I was a youngling, well actually 21 I was enjoying life far away from home in the SUNY system. One evening upon returning to my dorm I stopped by a room to say hi to the guys. I was standing in the door when suddenly out of the blue came the big headed resident assistant and told us we were all busted. Busted for having too many people in a room whilst alcohol was present.

The rule was no more than eight in the room. I was the ninth, even though I was standing in the door. The alcohol was a garbage can filled with a liner that contained a Blue Whale. For those who do not know a Blue Whale is vodka, Blue Curacao liqueur, orange juice. Tasty! Since all of us in that room were on probation from the first week of the semester for having 30 people in a room with 200 empties, and another two cases of beer to drink, our prospects did not look very good. And there was also other stuff we did. I think it involved a midget, an amputee, and Jell-O. But I digress.

What were we to do? The resident director really hated us. But he was hated by the other RD's that made up the council that was to hear our case. This was good. Because one night whilst delivering a pizza to another RD I told him of our plight. He told me not to worry, that he will see to it that we are exonerated. After my shift that night I told the guys not to worry. We then celebrated with a case of Labatt's Blue. Oh, and a week later we had the hearing. All went according to plan. We were just told to stay away from trouble. We didn't.

So why do I share this with the loyal readers of this blog? Compare this story and the story of the quality review in my school. Notice a difference? Something was fixed about college hijinks, or whatever it is that has gone awry. All who was affected were some drunken college kids and moron RD. It was fun, it was college.

But the fix in my school. Two middle aged women who ought to know better, something that is unethical, if not immoral, and conspiratorial has been perpetrated not only on the community, the teachers, but worse, on the children. These two culprits do not care one iota about Children First. All these two care about is taking care of one another, looking out for one another, and to hell with the children of the South Bronx if it will advance their own agenda.

The Dude is smart. I mean smart. And boy is he perceptive. If he respects you, he will go through a wall for you. If he doesn't respect you, he can make your live a living hell. The trick is to win his respect, to win his trust. How is that done? Simple. Be firm. Mean what you say. Make him feel important. Give him boundaries. Do not patronize nor condescend. And don't abuse him.

Today a teacher told me that The Dude in a private conversation, completely on his own volition, explained how the school doesn't care about him. And that Numb Nuts abuses him. Wow, out of the mouths of babes comes this. The Dude is so verbal. The Dude knows the deal. The Dude speaks the truth. The Dude is all right.

Why won't my school administrators do right by The Dude?

Tune in tomorrow. I am going to explain my motive behind this blog, and why Children First is a scam.

The South Bronx School Blog has decided to sponsor a contest. A scenario will be given and the person who answers the question the best according to the crack team will win an all expenses weekend trip to Utica, NY! You will be whisked to Utica directly from the Port Authority Bus Terminal directly (changing buses in Oneonta, Binghamton, and Delhi). Once in Utica you and your guest will be feted with a gift basket for your stay at Red Roof Inn overlooking the Erie Canal. You then can do whatever it is Uticans do. Like watch the snow.

OK, here are the rules to the contest. It must be in essay form, and a minimum of 250 words. Remember, this really happened this week.

Please, in your best writing describe how the following pertains to the "Children First" philosophy of the NYCDOE:

Yesterday, a boy in the second grade was moved from his class to the second grade CTT class that has previously been mentioned in this blog as being out of compliance. For those who forget, this CTT class must have a 60/40 ratio of general ed to special ed. The class as of this past Monday was still 15 special ed. and 6 general ed. Numb Nuts sent a letter to this boy's mother stating, rather than asking, that this boy will be moved on January 7. The reason Numb Nuts gave was he thought the boy would do better in a CTT class. Doesn't matter that he has one of the best g** damned teachers in the school. Doesn't matter that all he might need is SETTS. He is at a G reading level, he should be at a J. Easily overcome. Oh I forgot. Another kid was moved from a different class to the CTT class. The former teacher was just asked, "which kid would you like to be rid of?" So back to this young man. He spent all day yesterday and today crying for his teacher. Through his sobs he was saying, "I miss my teacher, I love my teacher." Seven years old and this is what they do? Might as well snatched him from his mother! The reasoning is if they keep the fifteen special ed. kids in the CTT class all they have to do is fill it up with general ed. kids until they are in compliance. Makes sense, right?

This is so wrong! So anyway, get busy. Only one reply per household. You can post your response publicly or email it to me. I know many are salivating at prospect of spending a weekend in Utica. So get busy!

Two hundred thirty thousand dollars. Say that ten times fast. Nice chunk of change to have. Would anyone object to winning that in New York's Mega Millions? Imagine what you can do with that kind of money. I wonder what my school can do with that, but I know it is just a dream. Unfortunately we at my school will never know. That's because that is the amount I have conservatively estimated is spent on the two extra AP's and what would be a secretary's salary if we did not have the "administrative teacher".

How many extra teachers would we have? Heck, we would have more room because the useless three are taking up space. The 12:1:1 classes would be able to move into smaller quarters and there will be classroom space opened up. Perhaps we would be able to hire more reading specialists, or actually have math and reading coaches.

Hey I bet the school can get about two hundred and seventy five computers for that money. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit. I mean you have to buy the service and the software, but at least the lower grades will no longer go without computers in their classroom. Better yet, instead of desktop or laptop computers, each student in the school can have their own hand held computer. In fact hand helds are the way to go nowadays. But we will never know at my school because the money is being pissed away.

But noooooooooooo!!!! The children's needs do not come first. The adults, the incompetent, useless adults come first. Taking care of those who do thy bidding John Deacon, is that all that matters to you? Wake up and smell the coffee already! There is no curriculum, there are no supplies, the students are not being prepared for the 21st century. But you see fit to shell out $230,000? Bravo John Deacon. Do you manage your household expenses in such a laissez faire manner? I doubt it.

John Deacon's house of cards just might be starting to fall. This is inevitable. Anytime you create something and at its root are lies, subterfuge, duplicity, when you create your own reality, the foundation will eventually start showing cracks and it will all crumble. It is starting to happen. Look what happened to Nixon.

The first salvo has been fired. Our district rep and the safety rep from the Bronx UFT came in on Thursday. The district rep, Mrs Claus truly understands the contract and when she fights for you goes all out. Unfortunately, and we as a chapter feel that at times, she picks and chooses her battles. On the other hand the safety rep, Lara Croft has a take no prisoners mentality, believes that the proverbial foot should be pressed on the proverbial neck and you don't let up until you get what you want. That there are no gray areas. Mrs Claus feels this way to most of the time, but when things get as desperate as they have at my school there is no time for talking, only time for action.

Which brings us to this coming Monday. There is a grievance hearing at DOE offices on Chambers St. This is concerning the lack of the SAVE room, which according to New York State education law and chancellor's regulation A-443 we MUST have. This is not open to interpretation. So why does John Deacon not settle this? It, at least it should be, open and shut. Whatever John Deacon says it will be a lie. My prediction: It is settled before a ruling. They don't want to leave a messy trail of a precedent. But if we win, this will be in my estimation, just the beginning. And this is not a victory for the teachers, this will be a victory for the children. The children will start coming first in the school. Because right now the children aren't. The only people being taken care of is the administration of the school. They are looking only to bolster their egos, their self esteem, to justify their own meaningless existence. They do not care one iota about the children in my school.

The only people in that school who care, who truly give of themselves and want to make a difference are the teachers of my school. They are all very good teachers. But we are getting tired of being pissed on, of being treated like chattel, of seeing people in positions of authority that not only don't have the skills to be in their positions, but don't lead, or earn our respect.

But we need to stick together as a chapter. John Deacon has tried to divide and conquer the chapter. We need to hold steadfast, to look out for one another, to keep the foot pressed on the throat. Too often we get teachers who are afraid, which I understand, because they do not have tenure. But when you stand up for yourself not only can you look at yourself in the mirror, but the bully will back down. Not to get mushy here, but I believe that if your motives are pure, that if you are on the side of right that God will always look out and take care of you. OK, end the sappy background music.

Keep filing the grievances, file all paperwork that we must, keep your feet firmly planted in the ground. The squeaky wheel always gets oiled. Or as they say in Brooklyn, "erled". Funny, huh?

Bomb threat today by a student. He couldn't be any clearer in what he wished to do to the school. Assumed protocol was followed. The student's assistant principal was immediately notified. This AP knows the deal. Is righteous. But unfortunately the AP's hands are tied. As I mentioned it has been officially made known to us that under no circumstances are students to be disciplined. That if a child throws a chair at another child, only a phone call to the parent may be made. So back to the Mad Bomber. No punishment. Well, not really. He got to choose his punishment. I guess the lessons of Columbine, Pearl, MS, West Peducah, KY, Stamps AR mean nothing.

I understand that we as a society have gotten too much of a cork up our ass when comments like these are made and treat all comments, no matter how trivial with a howitzer, but for a student to make a statement like this, to be this angry or upset where then at the very least is the inquisitiveness on the part of the upper echelon to delve into this matter? This is not something that if you wish goes away it will.

What if a student made this comment in Franklin Lakes, or Roslyn, or New Rochelle, or Hempstead. Would it be swept under the rug? NO! There would be immediate action. Police called, parents called, letters sent home, counselors brought in. Why can't students in the Bronx have the same learning environment as suburban students? Please, don't say it is money or that the students are not as smart as the 'burbs.

So Frank's mom came in today. Useless. Blank look the entire time. Got the "I don't know what to do with him" line. Didn't even register on her face the threats of violence he made or the racial remarks. Numb Nuts decided to interject and was splendid in his patronizing way.

Speaking of Numb Nuts he lost control of the third grade cafeteria today. At least when he was in the cafeteria as he should have been. There are only three classes and the mayhem is caused by one. This he can't handle? I had to save his butt and settle down the cafeteria which took all of about a minute, and I never had to write a check to learn what to do.

Doris Day, can you come out to play?

Very soon, I promise!

Today Frank assaulted a boy in the yard. The boy, to no one's surprise, is much younger and smaller than Frank. Apparently another boy, Alfred E Neuman was giving the boy the business, just teasing and horseplay when Frank decided to get involved. Frank punched the boy several times, threw the boy up against the fence and attempted to throw him over the fence. There are plenty of witnesses. All ducks lined up for the hammer to come down Pretty rough, eh? I mean say you are that boy's parents would you not be concerned that a student like Frank doesn't face any serious repercussions?

And he won't! Mom was actually called and mom did say she is coming in tomorrow. I highly doubt that she will, and if she does it will be the same old song and dance. "I don't know what to do with him." Too bad. Send him up to Four Winds in Katonah, take some parenting classes, or go back in time and get spayed. Want to know the worse part of this? It was all so easily preventable.

The permissiveness in the school is like the Twilight Zone. Remember that episode with Bill Mumy, "It's a Good Life?" We don't want to piss off little Anthony. God forbid we might hurt Anthony's feelings.

As mentioned previously it is official school policy that no students are to be disciplined, other than calling home, for any and all behavior issues. Any misbehavior in the yard during lunch, that includes fighting, is not to be dealt with taking the students privileges away. Oh no! It is their social time. Can't do that.

What about the students who go to school for one reason and one reason only? To learn. Do they not have a right of freedom from fear? Or serious injury? I know I talk about discipline, but don't get me wrong. I don't want to see the school turned into a Gulag. But this lack of discipline is all for the wrong reasons. To cover asses. Simple as that. So nothing shows up, if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge. Again where is the Children First theory coming into play? They think that if they avoid the problems the problem will go away. What will it take to get the heads out of the sand?

A student to get seriously injured. Or a teacher. Unfortunately it will happen.

Hey Andy, are you goofing on Elvis? Hey baby, are we losing touch?

Dang why me being so cryptic?

In due time.

On Wednesday when we had our illegal after school professional development in vis a vis the subversion of certain chancellor's regulations and state laws, I politely reminded Numb Nuts which regs and laws are specifically being violated. Numb Nuts blabbered back to me in his best party line, memorized, rhetoric way that the school is not in any way breaking any rules. I then reminded him that yet again he is incorrect, politely, and explained that I have more than once read the relevant regs and laws. I guess it was at this point that the hamster in the wheel started running faster because he came up with a most brilliant response.

"We have decided ourselves how to interpret chancellor's regulations and state law."

Great answer. This coming from someone who has, for lack of a better word, sworn to serve to for the betterment of children comes up with this line? And it is just not him, remember he is just parroting the party line of the politburo. Is this acceptable? Who decides which regs and laws are open to interpretation? I had always assumed it was God. But now the politburo get to pick and choose which regs and laws they have to follow? Aren't we right now in this country upset with W. and The Dick who have decided when and how to use to the Constitution for their own means? Great, now their ethics and morals have trickled down.

Starting Tuesday I choose to pick and choose which regs and laws I choose to follow. I shall arrive late, and leave when I decide. Lunch will be two hours along with the requisite two martinis in the teacher's lounge. Shaken, not stirred of course. I can, and any teacher should be able, to do anything we want!! Better yet, why not teach the students that if there is a law or anything they don't agree with, that they can decide to interpret that law or better yet not follow it at all.

This school is so Kafkaesque.


Where is Brian Wilson?

Oh the cryptic stuff again.

Stay tuned.

So Mr First Grade gets to equate himself with a Holocaust victim and guess what? He is the new ELA cluster teacher in our school. Makes sense. He's a cluster f***.

So what are his qualifications? Give me a minute whilst I ponder this somewhat rhetorical question. Still pondering. Thinking. Wait, got it! He has a heart beat and walks upright (though some would tend to question this).

I have always assumed, and I guess I might be wrong in this case, that one needs a rudimentary knowledge of the English language to teach ELA. Perhaps there is a memo out there I have yet to read. Now understand please that I am not in any way, shape or form, belittling those who do not speak English, or whose first language is not English. But come on, this is not right. And not just because of Mr FG's English problem.

He has zero classroom management skills. In fact he lacks any skills with children. Today I had to rescue him yet again. He was walking ten third graders through the hall. I heard several blood curdling shrieks. I went to investigate and the students were completely out of control. I had to settle these kids down, get them to do what they were supposed to be doing. Wait, I embellish a wee bit. Numb Nuts came along and tried, but couldn't. So there I am with the students finally settled down and Mr FG starts opening his mouth making the problem worse. I had to send him away like a child so the problem didn't get worse.

Please explain to me how this benefits the children. Somebody. Anybody.

Has anyone seen Andy Kaufman?

Yeah, I am being cryptic still.

Numb Nuts is working hard, in fact super duper hard in his office. He is sitting at his desk doing something on the computer while one student from that 12:1:1 class is lying on the floor doing something. As I walk by his door I see another boy from the 12:1:1 class running around the hallway. This is a student that should not be out in the hall by himself under any circumstances. Yet there he is. Alone. And Numb Nuts is oblivious to it all.

The King, as this student shall henceforth be known, runs right to me when I call him over and I bring him to Numb Nuts office. I ask Numb Nuts if he is looking for The King and at that moment Numb Nuts stands up with a "of course" look on his face and walks to the door to retrieve the young man. Problem not solved.

A few moments later whilst in another room, and a teacher doing running records with a student, The King comes running in. I look behind him expecting to see Numb Nuts, but alas I do not. The King is running around the room, going under the tables, trying to play hide and seek. I keep my eye on him, staying close, making sure he is not going to get hurt. What The King wants his a healthy dose of attention, and the moment I give it to him he is liable to bolt. I do attempt to redirect him, get him to focus on something else but to no avail. I wonder to myself why isn't Numb Nuts even mildly curious as to where The King is. Is he not responsible for this young man?

Almost ten minutes passes before Numb Nuts, walking to his office from the opposite direction. I ask Numb Nuts if he is looking for The King. Of course, he tells me. He comes in and there is The King under the table. The King starts to curse Numb Nuts out and Numb Nuts looks on with a blank look on his face.

He is what is most on my mind. Why isn't Numb Nuts doing the job of what an assistant principal supposed to be doing. More importantly what about the safety of The King? If I wasn't around, twice, where could The King have wound up? I guess when the only qualification you have for being an assistant principal is cherubs on your checks, you need not worry yourself over such trivial matters as the safety of a student.

Children First! Yipee!

On Friday the full court press was put on The Dude's mom to sign the paperwork to have The Dude officially mainstreamed. Mom did not cave! Kudos to mom! Think it is over? Not by a long shot! The Dude is still being mainstreamed, not only against mom's explicit wishes, but without being tested out of special ed. Is this legal? Why is this not being done properly such as testing out?

Is this not a shining example of "Children First?"

Remember The Dude? If you need refreshing click here. Anyway The Dude is about to be officially mainstreamed. I am all for mainstreaming a student. When it is for the right reasons. But unfortunately mainstreaming The Dude is for the wrong reasons. He is being moved because he is a behavior problem. But more because of personality conflicts within the class.

The Dude's mother will be coming in to sign the papers so he is no longer in special ed. Mom is sweet, but needs someone to advocate for her. The Dude and his sister are the adults in that home. In fact Sister is the one that cooks, gets The Dude ready for school and so on. Mom is going to be met with a full court press and told that The Dude has progressed and he is ready to move on. Also, why aren't teachers being asked to join in on the meeting with mom? But what, you may ask yourself, is the problem?

The problem is that the IEP/PPT team (school psych, etc...) have not tested him out of special ed. Nor was there any conference or anything to discuss it with IEP/PPT team. The Dude is two grades behind where he should be in reading and several teachers have mentioned that there might be dyslexia. Shouldn't he be tested for this? Seems to me that the law, if not the spirit of the law is being broken. Time to call in the school cops?

So another example of the "Children First" philosophy gone awry. More of the "cover your ass and hide your head in the sand and hope the problem either goes away or becomes someone else's" philosophy.