The night before I returned from my suspension I was having a major, well maybe not major, anxiety attack or just the typical Jewish neurosis about actually teaching a class. It had been nearly 3 years since I had stood in front of a classroom and taught. Longer than that if one counts teaching with any confidence.

The 2012-2013 school year had been hell for me. My former (THANK GOD!) principal, DR Alison Coviello had done everything she could to destroy my confidence and do what she could to make me feel like I a horrible, rotten, no good bucket of road apples. So of course there was trepidation returning to the classroom.

But I got my chops back and it was like riding a bike. I realized I can do it still.

I spent the next six weeks in District 10 and even though I had some anxiety filled moments, all was good. And I learned something so valuable, or maybe re-learned it, or just had it affirmed. You know what I mean.

Dang it is those kids that make this all worth while. And when you least expect it, and from the kids you least expect it from, you get those jaw dropping moments.

My next to last day at the school in District 10 I subbed or covered a 3rd grade class. I got to know the teacher pretty well when I was with another 3rd grade class for 2 weeks while their teacher was out on maternity.

I think it was after lunch. Yeah, it had to be after lunch, lunch is at 10:35 in that school so the entire day is after lunch I received a note from a student just out of the blue(Identifying details have been redacted) (CLICK TO ENLARGE).

I was floored. I had done nothing special, at least in my mind, to deserve this. I was really touched and still am. But there was more.

About 5 minutes later I got this (CLICK TO ENLARGE);
This was a good day. I don't know if it was as good as any day I had in 20 years of teaching, but it was the best day I had in 3 years!

So let's flash forward to last week. I left the friendly confines of District 10 and returned back to my old District 7 haunting grounds, in fact to a school I used to service when I was a staff developer.

I clustered and there was one 5th grade class that I had every day, a class with a most challenging student.

From day one, he tried to did everything he could to get noticed and to push my buttons.

Thursday as I was leaving the class, he handed me this (CLICK TO ENLARGE);
This note was completely unsolicited. At no time did I ask him to write it nor did his teacher. In fact I had not mentioned his behavior to anyone.

What I feel for the first time in a long time is the ability to be myself in a classroom. Yeah, I know, this can all change and I might have some horrible moments, but I can't think like that. If I do I can't be what I want to be as a ATR/Sub/Teacher.

It's hard being an ATR. It's tough walking into a class for the first time and the kids don't know you. It's hard as an ATR when you have to pick up a class in the morning when you will be with them all day. It's just plain hard. But it can be rewarding.

I am looking at it this way.

When I became a staff developer in 2000 someone asked me why would I want to be working out of the district office. I responded that by being in the DO I can work with and help more students than I could in a just being in one school. That's how I am looking at being an ATR.

I am going to keep these letters. I am going to use them for those days that don't go well or to remind myself that I came out the better person after 3 years.

It's nice to know that I made a bit of a difference for a brief time.

So how is my ATRing going? Not bad, but the bloom is a bit off the flower.

I have been on the same school in District 10 for the last week and a half. I know the school well from my District 10 days. My first paid teaching gig as a sub was there back in June of 1995. I sent thirty 5th graders to the closet at once to get their stuff at the end of the day. Whoops!

But it has been uneventful. My first day there, on December 14th, I covered a 3/4 bridge class. I was lucky. The teacher had not left any lesson plans but there were two great paras in the class with me and without them I would have been lost.

I had this same class on the 16th and in between covered a 4th grade class for the day. The 4th grade class was awesome as well. Again, no lesson plans, but 3 students stayed with me during my 1st period period prep to show me where there are. In fact the principal walked in when they students were working independently during Math and looked around and left.

I clustered Thursday and covered another 4th grade ICT class (Alone) Friday. Another awesome para and another great class.

So last week I was in the class where there actually is a vacancy. It's a Kindergarten ICT class with no general ed teacher. The first day was good. It was a field trip to the Swedish Cottage in Central Park to see a marionette show. By the time we got back it was lunch and then prep and the day basically over. Not so much Tuesday and Wednesday.

The teacher is very good but she just can't, or just won't, remember my name. I am referred to as the "other teacher." I try to help out as best I can, but I am basically on my own more or less. It is kind of an awkward situation, but I am putting my best foot forward.

On Wednesday the teacher had a meeting with one of the AP's to discuss her observation and left me to teach her lesson plan. Now mind you this is an ICT K class. The title of the lesson was;

"Understanding Information in Fiction and Nonfiction Story Elements--Non-Fiction Writing"

The teaching point (Which goes up on the board);

"Students will identify information found in the table of contents page by citing evidence"

Can someone please explain to me the purpose of a teaching point for 5 year olds?

I am in no way blaming the teacher for this, in fact she is an awesome teacher and I am sure this directive comes from above, but WTF?

And more WTF. Why in K are we teaching them not only informational reading (I know, I know) but on top of that, "table of contents," "glossary," and that bold words mean the information is important.


The name of the book is "Flamingos Our Feathered Friends". But I read the book to them remind them to pay attention to the questions on the page and the bold words so they know this book is telling them about flamingos.

Check out some of the bold words that are in the glossary;
Guess which two words I learned on that day. The same two words a five year old will not retain. By the way, did you know that flamingos are born grey?

This just seems too much for K students. Even tropical weather is too much especially when I have no idea if they have previous knowledge of it.

The independent work was for the students to go back to the tables, find an informational book and point out some features of informational texts to one another at their tables. It was differentiated that the middle group will identify topics, and the lowest group will identify the difference between non-fiction and fiction.

Again, this is not an indictment of the teacher, but rather the dunderheads that force fed us the Common Core crud. What happened to the days of KWL charts, then reading the book to the class, and just having fun. Any non-fiction book can be informational, no? I read the Billy Martin biography a few months ago, it was full of information.

K students arr sponges. They will soak up everything. We must stop making them grow up too fast.

Oh, one more thing. A student was very thoughtful and brought me, as well as his teacher and the para, a box of chocolate on Wednesday

On Monday it hit me. Hit me hard like Dorothy in so many ways.

I had a feeling I am no longer in District 7. I have a feeling that I am no longer a teacher. I have a feeling that I am now nothing but an ATR.

That last sentence really was a reality check after what for me was a pretty good re-introduction into the Wonderful World of the NYCDOE.

On Monday I walked in several minutes early and was told to get my schedule from the AP. I walked to her office and she asked me to wait. I sat down at the conference table and what happened? The principal walked in along with the AP and my heart skipped a beat. It literally did. I have become so per-conditioned to whenever I am in an administrator's office that I must have done something wrong that I become some Pavlovian teacher when I see to admins talking. After about 2 seconds I realized the two were talking about some mundane school stuff. WHEW!

So I got the schedule and all it I had to do for the day was to "support" teachers in their classrooms. Nothing more, nothing less. It was at that point where my new reality hit me and I was nothing but an overpaid para.

But I couldn't wallow in it. I walked into each class that day with the attitude what can I do, how can I help, and dove in feet first. I was not going to be reactive, but proactive. The teachers were (or so they seemed) appreciative of my help as well as just being there. In each of the three classes I was with that day I sat with one of the more challenging students of each class and somehow, someway, made a difference for that student for about an hour. But I still wanted to teach.

I got my wish on Tuesday.

Like Ted Williams taking off for 4 years during WW II I came back swinging. Three classes in a row Tuesday morning, and it seemed like I hit a dinger in each one.

The students were engaged (I hate tooting my horn), the lessons were to the point, flowed well. I was rusty. I think I spent a wee bit too much time on the mini lesson and perhaps my introduction. But the students (4/5 bridge, 2nd Grade, and K) were well behaved. Maybe it was me, maybe it was the school atmosphere, maybe it was the District 11 magic, or who knows. But it felt good.

The next day, Wednesday, more of what I did Tuesday but a Kindergarten teacher that stayed in the room while I was teaching asked me if I was retired. I said no, not yet, told her I am an ATR and I asked her to as why she asked if I was retired.

She said that I knew what I was doing, the kids loved my lesson, the kids were focused, and my management was very good. She said she gets people in their with no lessons, no plan, no nothing and that sometimes she has to find something for them to do. It felt good.

Thursday and Friday was back to what I was doing Monday. It was neat hearing the kids calling out "Hey Zucker!" as I walked by, or the little ones saying good-bye as I left the classroom.

Each teacher, as well as the AP,  was gracious and courteous to me and me to them. Hey, I know, this can be an anomaly, each school is different. But for one week, my first week back, I needed this school and was hoping to be there longer or at least up until the break.

Sadly, I am to report to another school tomorrow morning in District 10. In fact it is my step-mother's old school where she retired as an AP in 2001. Irony, huh?

I know I should be in 7, but I am closer to home. The parking at the school this past week was fantastic and it won't be as good this week, but it is a school I am familiar with. Worst part is not being able to go into my old haunts of Mount Vernon for breakfast or lunch.

I am going to do what I can and stand tall and stand proud. I will stand for all ATR's while I can and will actually make chicken salad out of a chicken s**t situation.  No one can defeat you unless you allow them to. It is not futile on to resist, but we need to learn how to resist. Sometimes a smile can be our best weapon.

I know I am going to have some cruddy days, but it will not be because of me.

Who says one can not affect change?

After recieving over 100 comments on the post, "Is There Solidarity With God?" in which many a question was asked, "What has Solidarity actually accomplished?" with nary an answer,  UFT Solidarity has finally come out on its website with what it says it has done.

Now we here at SBSB wish to congratulate those at UFT Solidarity for finally sharing with the world what it believes it has done. But, there is one little meddlesome quirk we feel we here at SBSB need to address.

The title of the page is "UFT Solidarity Initiatives," but then claims these initiatives are actually accomplishments. That is all well and good but when The Crack Team looked the definition of initiative this is what we found;

noun