Yay! There was a delegate assembly yesterday. I was smart. I didn't try to ask any questions. But the pattern persists. Most, if not all, of those asking the questions tend to be chapter leaders.

But during Mulgrew's opening remarks he briefly touched on the state of the evaluation negotiations. Same as last month and nothing new.

"We have to have an evaluation system done by this month, but we are getting nowhere with the DOE. People with the DOE we are negotiating with are in la-la land. We need a scientifically tested system to work with. DOE asking for ridiculous things. Our committee has met. There has to be a MOSL. We have to figure that out."

The Crack Team has gone ahead and figured out a way to solve this problem. If the UFT decides to use what is known as The Crack Team Official Evaluation and Pro-Am© Teacher Evaluation Method. We here at SBSB ask for a small honorarium and the promise, to sponsor a golf outing this coming on a Monday in August at Winged Foot. 

Yes, we understand that in complicated times that deciding on an evaluation that must include MOSL can be complicated. So many factors are factored in.

Should teachers of remote learning be evaluated the same as in person teachers and vice versa? 

Is there an impact on students in schools that are closed, then opened, then closed, then opened, then closed? Does this not inhibit student learning?

What of remote students? Would a remote teacher get extra points for students having to learn on this piece of shit iPad minis vs students that have a laptop or a desktop? Does this not inhibit student learning?

Whilst on the subject of remote teachers, what of students with crappy internet connections? Does this not inhibit student learning?

For in person teachers, the lack of any real human contact and students sitting at their desks all gosh darn long day, how does that affect student learning?

What about fear? The fear that a loved one or themselves can come down with COVID does this not inhibit student learning?

I mean I can go on and on but I shan't. There are just too many ways that student learning is inhibited this school year.

And how once a system is in place would admins that are supposed to evaluate us be trained and properly competent to evaluate us? 

And since this evaluation system be in place by the end of January, observations will not start until March at the earliest. Is that fair?

Here is The Crack Team's plan. Simple and very inexpensive.

If on the day the administrator comes to observe, if every student in class, be it in person or remote, has a heartbeat, the teacher gets an S and a happy face sticker. This is the fairest method. 

Just an analogy, a poor one. Can Trevor Bauer be properly judged and warrant a $36 million a year contract off of his 2020 season of 11 starts? No. 

The Crack Team and myself will be awaiting word from the UFT.

Just a few days ago on these pages, June 9, we here at SBSB asked the question, "But what about the ATRs?"  This was in reference to that Governor Andrew decreed that teachers that fall under APPR will not be evaluated for the 2019-20 school year. Oh joy. There was dancing in the streets. Celebrations enveloped Coruscant.

I was skeptical. ATRs do not fall under APPR. And neither do others who work in the schools and offices of the DOE. What about these people? At press time on Tuesday, there had yet to be any clarification.

The Crack Team got the clarification.

As of now, ATRs, guidance counselors, school social workers, deans, etc... any one that does not fall under APPR will still be given a year end evaluation.

Of course.

The UFT is awaiting word from the lawyers whether Governor Andrew's gracious offer is extended to The Others. The UFT should be getting an answer soon. This is the best information that The Crack Team got and will pass along more when it is known.

You know what? This is a swift kick to the crotch of ATR and all that do not fall under APPR. None of us were properly observed this year. None of us were properly supervised during the last three months. How can this be?

If the UFT doesn't fix this it yet again amplifies how uneven the playing surface is for ATRs. Yes, The Others are just as affected as well but having an evaluation. But The Others are not on the precipice of losing their careers every year for farting in a non DOE manner, or getting written up for leaving a toilet seat up.

The school year ends on June 26. Two weeks from today. We need an answer. Soon.

The heavens opened up yesterday and Governor Andy proclaimed, or signed something,
that teachers and principals will have their evaluations waived for this school year. Oh, and teachers will still be able to be tenured if everything is copacetic.

According to Chalkbeat....

State law mandates school and district leaders assess teachers and principals using the so-called Annual Professional Performance Reviews, or APPR. The evaluations, which include classroom observations and student performance data, can influence tenure decisions and trigger firings.

OK. Good. This year has been unlike others. 

So no evaluations is a good thing? Yes. But...

State according to state law evaluations are based on APPR which includes MOTP and MOSL. ATRs are still evaluated under Teaching in the 21st Century using the old S/U system. If we go strictly by the law, it is possible that ATRs are not included in in Governor Andy's proclamation.

Yes, I know, I am overthinking this. But, ATRs are still the overlooked step-children of the DOE. We are the crazy uncle that you keep in the attic when company arrives. There should be some clarification and certainty.

There has been too many stories of ATRs getting ONE letter to file and are given a U rating for the year. Too many ATRs have had the rug pulled out from under them in JUNE with unfavorable observations that lead to a U rating for the year.

I have reached out and have either not gotten an answer or the answer was not clear and concise. I know the UFT can and will come through with further clarification. The DOE is not to be trusted. Just look how they have twisted and turned taking away seven vacation days from us and told us to take it or leave it four additional days added to our CAR. Bupkus. Big whoop.

Remember the Sunday morning TV show on Channel 5, Wonderama? Bob McAllister sang "Kids Are People Too"at the end of every show? ATRs are teachers too, and we're people. We fall through the cracks at time. Forgotten about. Looking at the inside from the outside. Feel like we're shunned. Sometimes it is real, sometimes it's our perception. But perception is reality. We just want communication. And clarity.

James Eterno is spearheading a MoveOn petition to repeal New York State Evaluation Laws3012-c and 3012-d. Click here for the MoveOn petition link. Please sign and share!


From James' blog...

Petition to Repeal NYS Teacher Evaluation Laws 3012-c and 3012-d

• Evaluating teachers based on student results on tests and other student assessments that were never designed to rate educators is neither a scientifically or educationally sound way to be used for a Measure of Student Learning portion of a teacher's rating.

•  The Measure of Teacher Practice portion of teacher evaluations is subjective and highly unfair, particularly in NYC where the Danielson Framework has been used not to help teachers grow as professionals but as a weapon to frighten teachers into teaching to score points on arbitrary rubrics in multiple unnecessary classroom observations.

So Chapter Leaders and I guess administrators are being trained on the new evaluation system.
Everything being crammed into a short time frame. I guess sooner or later teachers will be trained  as well.

But I've been thinking lately.

Think about this. Say you are a teacher and up until now, January 11, 2017 you have had say 2 observations in which were complete disasters. You have to ineffectives and on your way to end of year rating hell. And let's just say for arugments sake that the new evaluation system kicks in on February 1.

Do you get a mulligan? A do over? Like in Galaxy Quest when you get to use the Omega 13 and rearrange matter and get to go back in time redeem a mistake?  Or do the ineffectives get combined with the new method?

One should be able to get a do over. It is only fair. But we have yet to hear from anyone with knowledge to share this with us.

In fact, what about the four observations? Are the observation pro-rated to two observations are will the four observations be jammed into the last few months of the school year?

And one more thing.

Keeping the beginning date of the new evaluation system as February 1in place shouldn't all teachers observations/evaluations be then based on the old S/U system? Think about it for a moment.

Back in November when I was at the Bronx UFT ATR meeting it was shared with us that if we got a permanent position at that time we will be under the auspices of the, at the time, current APPR system. However, if we got a permanent position in the second semester will fall under the S/U nothing to do with Danielson system. Heck, this is even true for new hires if they started that late in the year that they would be under S/U as well.

Will new teachers that are hired in March or later be part of the newest evaluation system or will they fall under the older old version of evaluations/observations the S/U?

Inquiring minds want to know. Inquiring minds want to hear from someone, anyone.

THE NEW EVALUATION SYSTEM IS HERE! THE NEW EVALUATION SYSTEM IS HERE!

Oh oh. As usual the devil is in the details and the devil ain't looking too good at first glance.

We all got the email from Mike Mulgrew espousing the latest ($5 bet we are going through this again in 2 years) evaluation system. As usual it seems that Mike pulled a George Steinbrenner. He was negotiating against himself.

The Crack Team and I went over Mulgrew's email with a fine tooth comb, but several things raised (and upon further reading I am sure more will) our eyebrows here at SBSB and our raised eyebrows raised our BS perception.

The new system, when fully implemented, will include more authentic student learning measures — from essays and projects to demonstrations of proficiency in physical education and the arts — that genuinely demonstrate what we do as teachers and what our students are learning.

When I was reading this email at lunch today I just happened to be sitting with the gym and music teachers at my school. Fate.

Anyway, proficiency is defined as;

noun

1. the state of being proficient; skill; expertness:

So students must become experts in a sport or physical skill? How do we in the schools, many of whom are athletically spastic decide what is or isn't? How do we decide what is proficient when it comes to the arts? 

I can't sing a note. I can't play an instrument. There is no amount of instruction that will get me to be able to be proficient in either. Now, I do enjoy listening to music. For those that have read my blog you know how much of a Rush fan I am. But does that make me proficient in the arts? Will appreciating a painting make me proficient? 

Same with sports and I will use my son as an example. Since he has been 6 he has been in baseball training. He has been lucky enough to play travel and school baseball. He's a good catcher but he has some things to work on. He has a bit of a long swing that we've been trying to correct for years and he likes to pull the ball. With all the training he's been through, and could it be the instructors fault, should he not be able to overcome those hitches in his swing? Or does he have a mental thing going? Baseball is 90% mental, no? 

But again, to put the onus on the impossible is just wrong. Yes, anyone can throw a baseball or play the riff from "Smoke on the Water," (I can!) but not everyone can pitch like Koufax or sing like Freddie Mercury.

We went into those negotiations saying that any agreement must reduce the impact of standardized test scores

Reduce the impact? I'm so confused here so I checked out ICEUFT Blog for further clarification...

As for the rest of the agreement, it looks (like) test scores will count for half of teacher ratings instead of the current 40%.

I'd like to know more about what James meant, but here is the thing. Aren't we, and I mean we by teachers, parents, educators, grown-ups, etc... holding all the cards here? The opt-out movement is still gaining steam. The public sees through the charade now. Why are we folding when everyone at the table just has a pair and we have a flush?

Under the new system, there will still be four observation options, but we’ve expanded the choices for teachers rated Effective or Highly Effective in the prior year.  Starting in the 2017–18 school year, teachers rated Effective — in addition to those rated Highly Effective — may choose Observation Options 3, which includes a minimum of four informal, unannounced observations plus teachers agree to open their classrooms to colleagues for at least two non-evaluative classroom visits. Highly Effective teachers may also now choose Observation Option 4, which includes a minimum of three informal, unannounced observations plus three times when teachers open their classrooms for a visiting colleague to observe and learn from their teaching.

Isn't the deal of negotiating is to reduce onerous crap that the rank and file doesn't want not to increase it? Here is an example. I own a restaurant in the Bronx. The law requires one (or it can be two) health inspections a year. Now do I as a Bronx restaurant owner go to the city and ask for more inspections a year? NO! But in UFT world more 9pardon the pun) is good and less is very, very bad.

By the way, I am leading the charge to change the law regarding car inspections in New York State. I can't live with myself knowing that my car is inspected only once a year. I insist that my car is inspected bi-monthly.

Seriously, who thinks up this shit that more observations is a good thing and a win?

What is most disturbing is this. The timing of the announcement. Two days before Christmas break, two days right after an executive board meeting in which the high school seats are controlled by MORE. Something stinks and it ain't coming from New Jersey.

Right before vacation so there is no real time for teachers to get together in their schools to discuss what they really think about the new evaluation system and to learn more and to contact the UFT to share what they think. Remember, UFT offices are conveniently closed next week.

This news could have also been shared at exec board meeting this pat Monday but wasn't Heck, at the very least it could have been shared at the very least that an agreement was near and give all members parameters of the agreement. I guarantee you this...

If MORE was not in control of the high school seats this would news would have been out on Monday.

But now comes the hard part for the UFT. Let this process be open and fair! Let there be true debate and feedback in the chapters. Let the DA be a source for free and fair debate. Share all information with all members of each and every executive board. And one more thing.

After a sufficient amount of time (one month?) with the rank and file having access to all sides of the debate allow us, the teachers, the ones closest to the action to vote up or down on this evaluation system. We know what is best for us not 52 Broadway.

For those who have read my blog posts (here, here, here, and here) about my former AP at PS 154 in the Bronx, Rajendra Jimenez-Jailall there was one more thing I had wanted to add but couldn't find the proper way to segue into it. Until now.

It was either May or June of 2013, about several weeks into the reign of DR Alison Coviello; Principal and Ed.D of PS 154 in the Bronx when Mr J said something quite revealing to me.

DR Alison Coviello; Principal and Ed.D of PS 154 had decided that mass preps in the auditorium were no longer to be accompanied by a movie but rather the children were to sit there, sometime for several hours, reading books. Good idea, poor implementation.

So one day, at the end of the day, I am covering the mass prep along with The Bow Tie, Mr J. The entire 2nd grade was in the auditorium when a student came up to me with a question. Now this student had a lot of issues, had been a holdover, and was quite challenging. I knew how to handle him and I had gained this young man's respect. Anyway, he came up to me and I was standing next to Mr J. and asked me something or was kvetching about something. Anyway, I got him to go back to his seat and as he was walking back Mr J turned to me and said;

"We'll see him in jail in a few years."

I was incredulous. I wish I had said something then, I should have. But as we know if a teacher makes an accusation against an administrator there better be witnesses.

So last night I get an email from a former teacher at Bronx Bridges High School. She knows The Bow Tie all too well and shared her story. A story that she has sent to Chancellor Farina, only to be ignored time after time.

Here is her story of her brush with The Bow Tie, Mr J (We added and/or deleted/edited some and highlighted the good stuff!)



WHOA! Some takeways.

One, as far as The Crack Team is concerned, it appears as if The Bow Tie, Mr. J had engaged in criminal activity by falsifying public records, the teacher's observation. Read it again. He never did the 6th observation as he should and instead of being a man, decided to just copy the previous observation verbatim.

According to New York State Penal Law S 175.30 Offering a false instrument for filing in the second degree; 

A person is guilty of offering a false instrument for filing in the second degree when, knowing that a written instrument contains a false statement or false information, he offers or presents it to a public office or public servant with the knowledge or belief that it will be filed with, registered or recorded in or otherwise become a part of the records of such public office or public servant.

Offering a false instrument for filing in the second degree is a class A misdemeanor.

Not good. Seems that there might be a possibility that Mr J and his bow tie might be looking at some time in Rikers. Maybe there he might meet some of his former students, you know, the ones he had so much faith in. But think about it. What a self-fullfilling prophecy if there ever was one. One wonders how many Newports Mr J would fetch for.

Leaving two boys locked inside your office so they can duke it out Raj? Come on. Even a TFA teacher knows not to do that. Was Mr J written up for that? Doubtful. As he said under oath at my 3020-a hearing, he is a good friend of Nellie Castillo. Ms Castillo looks the other way apparently. Hey Nellie, isn't this putting minors in harms way? A criminal offense?

Losing instructional material? Isn't this something to be written up for? Not if you are an AP and buddies with the principal.

So meanwhile The Bow Tie, Mr J had the audacity to sit in judgement of me and to criticize me and not assist me. When I complained I was looked at as if I am a liar or crazy. Looks like the Karma Fairy has snapped Mr J's bow tie.

But who is really to blame for this? DR Alison Coviello; Principal and Ed.D of PS 154 in the Bronx and former and currently exiled District 7 superintendent Yolanda Torres. They both had no problem conspiring attempting to separate me from my direct deposit and actually succeeding with several of my colleagues, but to pass the buck onto others at the expense of the students and teachers at Bronx Bridges HS is beyond the pale.

I am dying to find out about Mr J and what happened with him at PS 154 during his last year there in 2013-2014. Soon I will. We are awaiting discovery from the DOE and soon we will be deposing both DR Alison Coviello; Principal and Ed.D of PS 154 in the Bronx and Yolanda Torres. In fact, I think we should depose both Mr J and his bow tie as well.

This man is a waste of human life. He is self-serving and all for himself. He couldn't handle 1st graders, what the hell is he doing in a high school?

For those reading this at Bronx Bridges, keep on sending the stories.

A sorority has grown at MS 72 in Jamaica, Queens. The mean girls are in control and the un-mean girls on on the outside looking in.

Principal Omotayo Cineus has seemingly split the school in two. Those who belong to the correct sorority and those that never have been sorority sisters.

With the school shrinking due to the growth of co-located Redwood Middle School choices needed to be made. Who to keep and who to let go. Obviously, this can be done honestly and easily by following the UFT contract of last in, first out. But what is one to do when the principal and the last in are members of Alpha Kappa Alpha and veteran teachers stand in their way?

You juke the data. Teachers who have been at MS 72 for decades have suddenly been rated ineffective or developing. You deny teachers who have yet to be tenured time after time after time after time and then you rate them developing or ineffective.

Some of the targeted teachers are special ed teachers dealing with the most challenging students. But is this not what one wants when dealing with such students? Yet it is too easy to find fault, especially if you are not a Kappa.

But what does Principal Cineus say about this? To the non-tenured teachers who are about to be discontinued she tells them, our colleagues, teachers with families, bills, health concerns, that hey she'll swear she fought for these teachers with the superintendent but someone screwed up, the tenure papers were lost!

How can something that had never been submitted been lost?

Cineus, according to our sources at MS 72 went out of her way to hire Kappas. Faculty meetings seemed more like rush week or a toga party with inside jokes, secret sayings, and perhaps the odd handshake. As of press time no reports about any pledge pins.

Cineus and her untenured newbie sorority sisters went to meetings and conventions together and made a show of it all when they got back to work.

The Crack Team curious, asked if there was any hazing happening at MS 72. According to sources there was none, but several commented that denying tenure to the deserved and giving it to Kappas could be seen as hazing.

The teachers at MS 72, you all are up against Doug Neidermeyer, Greg Marmalard, and their leader, Dean Wormer. You all are Delta House. You need a Bluto moment. Hang in there!  

We here at SBSB are still analyzing the "victory" and smackdown we as teachers scored over
Governor Andy. Stay tuned on a post on how Assemblyman David Buchwald fibbed to a packed cafeteria of parents, teachers, and administrators in Harrison High School back in February and ideas on hide your address from the state ed department.

One thing The Crack Team has had on it's mind is this special "teacher evaluator" that is part of the new law. Yes, Governor Andy had wanted it to be 35 percent of a teacher's evaluation yet it was punted to the board of regents for final say.

Trial balloons have been floated that these special, independent evaluators can be teachers from the same school who are highly effective, principals from other school within the district or from neighboring districts or even retired principals. No one knows for sure and no one knows where the money will come from for such an endeavor.

One idea The Crack Team has been kicking around (Don't forget, The Crack Team can peer into the future) is that these so called evaluators were put into the bill not because Governor Andy does not trust local administrators but rather to line the pockets of campaign contributors who will be able to make big bucks (Because isn't that what it is really all  about??) from this legislation.

Think about it.Who stands to profit the most from having outside, independent evaluators come in to classroom and evaluate the teachers?

**Cough cough** Pearson? **Cough cough**

So The Crack Team got to thinking and wondered what would it be like if Pearson truly, and quite possibly, gets involved in the future?

We decided to convene a meeting of the social sciences committee of The Crack Team. Actually, it was just a bunch of us eating Chinese food and Carvel milk shakes, but that is neither here nor there. The committee wanted to see how Pearson would go about recruiting evaluators and what type of people would it employ. After the last spare rib and fortune cookie we came up with a working hypothesis.

The committee placed a faux ad on Craigslist which read;

Teacher Evaluators Needed (Midtown)

Pearson PLC is looking to hire new teacher evaluators starting in September 2015. The details of these evaluators is still being worked out in Albany but if you are looking to for part time or full time work this is the place for you!

Qualifications:

A high school diploma
A working knowledge of English
A bubbly personality
The ability to follow directions
The ability to make checks in boxes
The ability to use a pencil
A working command of English
The willingness to travel throughout the 5 boroughs
The ability to read a subway map 

A background in education is not needed. You will be trained for 5 hours in identifying good pedagogy.

 

What would happen next? Believe it or not The Crack Team got some responses! Seriously, we can not make this sh** up! Let's read together (Names, phone numbers, and email addresses have been changed). 

Henry Blake<[email protected]>	Apr 6 (1 day ago)
to abcdef-1234567.

Hello my name is Henry Blake I'm an experienced school auditor and I'm interested in helping you out if there is still availability. Please feel free to email me back or you can call or text me at 347-555-1212...thanks!

and....

Steve Urkel @reply.craigslist.org>	Apr 6 (1 day ago)
to abcdef-1234567.

Hi, my name is Steve Urkel, i would love to be an evaluator, i am a college grad, my number is 900-555-1212.

and.....

Alfalfa Switzer <[email protected]>	5:17 PM (6 hours ago)
to abcdef-1234567.

Alfalfa Switzer

888 888-8888

I am a youth baseball coach and a neighborhood cleaner. I also bike ride. I am a 55 year old divorced man who recently counted traffic for an engineer hired by the Dept. of Transportation.

This stuff just can't be made up. Don't be surprised if make believe becomes reality. 

Education is turning into McDonald's.

What a whirlwind couple of days it has been!

Tonight, I had the pleasure to listen to Diane Ravitch speak at my alma mater Purchase College and yesterday I got to read this written by Juan Gonzalez and see how Governor Andy really operates.

Really, is anyone surprised?

This man has accepted, taken, pocketed, call it what you wish, $4.8 million from hedge fund managers as they lobby Governor Andy to see it there way and raise the cap on charter schools in New York State.

Remember last year when Cuomo threw DeBlasio under the bus in regards to limiting Success Academy's co-locations? It just so happens that a pal of Eva's,  the Chairman of the Board of Success Academy, Daniel Loeb, has "given $62,000 to Cuomo." ***COUGH COUGH*** Something smells fishy here. ***COUGH COUGH***

Would it not behoove our better judgement to believe that the same hedge fund managers that Juan Gonzalez mentioned in in column have also deeply--as well as softly--whispered in Governor Andy's ear to change tenure to five years, base 50% of evals on tests, incorporate the stupid 35% eval on an outside entity, and all the other craziness Governor Andy has proposed?

How can we as teachers compete against Governor Andy and $4.8 million?

That's what we thought at an emergency meeting of The Crack Team which was convened last night at the Candlelight Inn in the Edgemont section of Greenburgh. 

We put our heads together. We had to come up with a way to grab Governor Andy's attention and be assured he gives us what we want in the same method the hedgies have co-opted him. But, and we all agreed, $4.8 million is somewhat out of the reach of ordinary teachers.

So we had to improvise, adapt, and overcome.

We came up with some great ideas. For instance a great idea was sending a Hickory Farms gift basket to the Executive Mansion. Or perhaps a Vermont Teddy Bear, or a dozen red roses (We nixed that, we thought he might get the wrong idea), some Omaha Steaks, or some nice jewelry from Kay.

But when it came down to following through we just couldn't Yes, Govcrnor Andy would be appreciative of such gifts, but they are just gifts. As we collectively rubbed our chins we had to think what is it that would get all the teachers of New York State into his office.

We figured it out. Cold. Hard. Cash. In small bills equaling $4.8 million.

Yes, that is what it will take, we believe, for Governor Andy to leave the Dark Side and do what the teachers and families of New York State want.

So The Crack Team has set up a Go FundMe page and between today and March 30 we hope to raise $4.8 million for Governor Andy's PACs. If we do not raise the money it will be returned or if the giver wishes, donated to charity.

Donations are to be only $1. We want to ensure all New Yorkers to contribute.

Let's do this for Andy. He needs us more than ever. 

The Crack Team after all these years has finally mastered the Flux Capacitor and inserted it into a
1977 VW Beetle. We had decided to travel to the future to see what would happen if Governor Andy got his way with the draconian measures (5 years for tenure, 50% of evaluation tied to state exams, 35% tied to independent evaluator, 15% evaluated by principal, giving great teachers up to $20k, and more charters) he has proposed.

Even though we needed a carburetor in the Beetle we took it out on the Sprain Parkway at 1AM to be sure we had a enough room to get it up to 88 MPH. It took a few miles to do it but we did! We hit a few time periods over the ensuing ten years to see what will become of education in the formerly great State of New York.

2017

Having forsaken a run for president the previous year, Governor Andy readies himself for a third term run the following year and a possible presidential run in 2020. The New York Post has just reported that under Governor Andy's new evaluation system, 95% of teachers are rated effective or higher in New York City and statewide the total is 97%. One hundred thousand teachers across the state were considered excellent and each were awarded $20k, however not one teacher accepted the cash incentive, or those that did, donated it to their school districts to make up for the millions of dollars that Governor Andy has withheld.

The independent evaluators that Governor Andy touted so turned out to be college students found through CraigsList and were making $12/hr. When the New York Time reports this, Governor Andy misinterprets the fallout and decides that in the future that unpaid college interns will be the new independent evaluators saving districts across the state millions of dollars.

Eva Moskowitz opened her first Success Academy in tony Bronxville tweeting that rich, spoiled, white kids need saving #dontstealivyleaguepossible.

Early 2018

Getting ready to run for a third term as Governor Andy is yet again disappointed with his new state of the art education reformed he had announced the previous year. He decries that now 97% of NYC teachers and 98% of teachers statewide are rated effective or highly effective. Having substituted the $20k teaching bonus with $5 gift cards to Arby's for teachers of excellence he soon realizes it is all for naught. Teachers do not like Arby's. Also Governor Andy has decided that 80% of a teachers evaluation is to be based on state exams (Ten percent both for the outside evaluator and principal) and that there will be a new level of effective teacher. It will be known as "Really super duper effective."

However, a month after this is passed in the legislature a scandal erupts. Apparently, Educators4Excellence has morphed into a religious cult and it seems all the unpaid college interns are E4E members and worship Little Evan Stone. Little Evan soon skips the country with the interns in tow and they all arrive in Jonestown, Guyana where no one ever heard from them again.

Faced with no outside evaluators Governor Andy decides that evaluators can be found huddled together outside of all Home Depot's and Lowe's and only need to be paid a day rate of $10 plus transportation and a slice and a Coke.

Eva Moskowitz has now opened up another Success Academy in Scarsdale calling the schools there failing because 5 students were not accepted at an Ivy and must settle for SUNY instead.

When asked about all these changes, UFT President Mike Mulgrew says, "Well it could have been worse. Thank God we have a seat at the table."


January 2019

Governor Andy ran for a third term in November 2018. In race against Republican candidate Senator Dean Skelos Governor Andy received 40% of the vote versus Skelos' 25% and write in candidate "Inanimate Object" received 34%. Sadly, Governor Andy mistakenly believes he has a mandate.

In his state of the state speech Governor Andy says enough is enough with the state of education in New York State. He threatens the assembly to pass his comprehensive education plan or they will face loss of bathroom privileges in the capitol building and will instead have to find a restaurant on Pearl St to relieve themselves.

He is upset because all teachers in New York State have been deemed Really Super Duper Effective. Henceforth he declared all evaluations will be based on 99.99% of state exams. Teachers will not get paid unless they can prove to an independent evaluator paid for by the state and hired though Pearson (Which has incidentally donated millions of dollars to Governor Andy in 2018) that they can answer every question correctly on a newly proposed yearly teaching licensing exam. If one question is wrong on the test the teacher will be immediately fired and his or her name and photo sent to the New York Post.

Teachers who miss two questions will be summarily interred along with their families to re-education camps sponsored by News Corp where they will learn to see Governor Andy as a deity.

Tenure has now been extended to 25 years of being Really Super Duper Effective.

Students will be tested (through a new $7 billion testing contract to Pearson) 2 times a week--Mondays and Fridays-- so progress can be checked weekly.

Teachers are quitting in droves. By June of 2019 all but one teacher in the Alfred-Almond School District has resigned or retired. Governor Andy will announce in July of 2019 that he plans to clone himself so that he and he alone, will teach all subjects in all schools across the state.

He soon dumps Sandra Lee and brings in Eva Moskowitz and his new consort until he finds out that she is just a heartless and soulless artificial life form.

He calls in the state police to arrest each and every member of the legislature. He declares martial law across the state and arrests all members every school district statewide.

Soon, alone and friendless, sitting in his den in Mount Kisco friendless he soon hears a knock at the door. It is the spirit of Mario. Mario does what he should have done years earlier.

They call for a taxi which takes them down 684 to White Plains. They head east on I-287 and get off at exit 8 and come to New York Hospital. Mario's spirit helps check Governor Andy in...for a very, very long stay.

Soon education is saved. Teachers return from exile. The sun rises again. The birds sing and most importantly, our children are back to learning.

Meanwhile at 52 Broadway, Mike Mulgrew when asked by reporters about Governor Andy's convalescing says, "I like him, at least we had a seat at the table."