Back in December I discussed how a teacher did not fart in the manner as prescribed by chancellor's regulations. Today that teacher had a meeting with John Deacon in which the teacher was accused of not farting improperly, but not informing dear principal John Deacon that a fart had happened.

John Deacon was irate. John Deacon told this teacher that according to chancellor's regulations when one is about to cut the cheese that principal must be notified. John Deacon was asked to show where in chancellor's regulations it mandates officially notifying a principal that a fart has commenced or happened. In my opinion, and this is without delving into the deep, twisted abyss of the principals head, John Deacon wishes to be informed of any and all farts in case there needs to be something covered up.

Anyway this teacher was livid. This seems so petty. Why is John Deacon obsessed with this teacher's flatulence, when we have Numb Nuts that continues to sh** on students. Even when Numb Nuts knows that the eyes of the world are upon him, he sees no reason to stop his defacating on students. Numb Nuts will seriously hurt a student one day with his excessive pooping. But John Deacon has bigger concerns. Like whether or not it was informed that a fart was on its way.

Flatulence is a big no-no in school. Well, at least in my school. Seems a teacher didn't fart in the proscribed Department of Education manner last week and John Deacon needed to take care of this formally and requested a meeting between the farter and chapter leader.

In the meeting the farter had explained that farting whilst lifting a buttocks cheek is incorrect and against Chancellor's Regulations. It was explained that when one farts, one should keep both buttocks cheeks firmly planted on the seat so it will be more dainty and the sound will be muffled by not only the chair, but by the underpants as well. This also tends to keep the odor localized and less people are affected by the smell. By lifting the buttocks cheek the stench tends to affect more people and the sound is several decibels higher.

The farter attempted to apologize for the fart that so annoyed and dismayed John Deacon and apologized profusely for the improper cutting of the cheese and promised that henceforth all farts will properly executed with all due respect to DOE protocol. The farter also promised that beans and broccoli will be off the breakfast menu.

That was not good enough for John Deacon. John Deacon explained that as a tenured teacher the farter is not due any room for error, nor is allowed mistakes. John Deacon explained that if the farter was a new teacher time would have been taken to explain how to fart in a correct manner.

It is a wonder that will all the crap (pardon the pun!) going on in my school that John Deacon can not let a silly thing like improper farting go. This shows how petty a person John Deacon really is, and where John Deacon's priorities are.

I wonder how John Deacon feels about those that queef.