A special new program has been implemented last week to react to student's that cause mayhem in the school. There are revolutionary on scale, and just might set the standard for student disciplinary procedure throughout the 21st century. These plans have yet to be copyrighted so the lawyers here at SBSB have given the go ahead to publish the plans. The two plans are:

Operation Please:

In this plan a student that has hit a teacher, a child, used foul language, thrown milk, not gone to class all week is brought to Numb Nuts office. Once there Numb Nuts, or Dear Principal John Deacon, or The Chosen One sits the offending student down. They then say to the child, "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, will you behave?" The child seeing that Numb Nuts, Dear Principal John Deacon, or The Chosen One is serious, promptly agrees to this and is sent back to class. Or the hallway.

Operation Office:

In this plan administration are assigned to be in their office at a certain time. This overrides the previous edict by Dear Principal John Deacon that "I do not want my AP's in their offices at all." Dear Principal John Deacon and its minions will be at their desks at scheduled times during the school day ready and willing to take responsibility for the circus like atmosphere they have created. Only during these appointed times will administration implement Operation Please. If sh** happens when they are not in their office, then tough you know what.

But if all else fails there still is:

Operation Ostrich:

Very Simple. Head is hidden in sand, hope the problem goes away.

This is weird. Or is it disturbing? It can be both. But the fact that something like this can happen should show why certain people should not be administrators.

The Dude was late both days of the statewide ELA test. Once a student is late, the student can not enter the room and take the test. In my school the student goes to a holding area. The Dude, might I believe, also have some test modifications that are afforded him. But the thing is The Dude must take the test.

One of the assistant principals, not Numb Nuts, but The Chosen One, has refused to allow The Dude to take a make up ELA test. The Chosen One feels that The Dude had his chance and blew it. There is no time limit on the when to take a make up.

Just another story in the long list of The Dude getting screwed.

And what do you think Tricky Dick would have to say about this?

It's official. There was white smoke seen from the school's chimney. Today, pending any unforeseen happenings, the interim acting title has been removed and the third, yes you read that right, third assistant principal in our school of about 500 has been anointed. I hope I am wrong. I hope the C-30 committee was able to see the light. I guess we will find out tomorrow.

The Chosen One had been an AP, both acting interim, on two previous occasions in my school. Two years ago The Chosen One quit after a month because The Chosen One got the ten month gig and returned to the classroom. Last year The Chosen One was IA for the entire year only to learn The Chosen One was excessed and had to return to the classroom. John Deacon comes in and presto! The Chosen One licks up the excrement that John Deacon spews and is now sitting pretty. Just proves that the third time is the charm.

Think about how lucky The Chosen One is. The third time as AP, the third AP. Things that come in three are good. Think about it. Chip, Ernie, and Robbie. Moe, Larry and Curly. Tinker, Evers and Chance. Groucho, Harpo and Chico. The list is endless. If I were The Chosen One I would play all 3's tomorrow.

I must leave now. But I have written a song for The Chosen One. It goes to the tune of Lionel Ritchie's Three Times a Lady.

Thanks for the times
That you've given us
The questions are all in our heads
And now that we've come
To the end of the process
Theres something
We must say out loud
You're once, twice
Three times an AP
Yes you're once twice
Three times an AP

When we are working
What you do we wonder
With every ounce of our brains
To see you to know you
To feel that you sold it
Theres no soul left in you
You're once twice
Three times an AP