I spent time the last two days focused on the Taconic Mountains as well as the Berkshires. There's a spot I love up there. From about Copake, in southeast Columbia County, towards Millerton NY, as you look to the east driving down Route 22 and see the mountains rising along the Massachusetts border. It brings me out of reality into a world that I have been a part of for over forty years that has really not changed much. Sadly reality is about to come back. I escaped some sad UFT reality on Thursday.

I don't want to go into too much into detail other than to say I will soon have my right shoulder replaced. I dislocated it in 1987, and the roosters have come home to roost. The shoulder, sadly, is on life support.

But I'm planning ahead and something happened Thursday to throw a monkey wrench into my well laid plans. Of course, I thought to myself, call the UFT. Mind you, and this is about 1 PM on August 29.

Well, I did and this is where the Kafaesque, rabbit hole, of inanity began. The inanity and the tone deafness of the UFT is what really got my knickers in a bunch.

So I call. I hear, "Hi this is Mike Mulgrew, yada, yada, yada," I raise an eyebrow. Mike asks me to stay on hold. OK. Then I have to listen to New Age music for a minute or two until I hear...

"Hi, this is Tim, the UFT, concierge, how may I help you?"

"Is this the Bronx UFT?" I ask.

"This is the UFT," Tim replies.

"But is this the BRONX UFT?"

"This is the UFT."

I hang up and try back. I get Lance, another UFT concierge. Well, after listening to Mulgrew and more New Age music.

I inquire to Lance why am I getting 52 Broadway even though I am dialing 718-379-6200. Lance informs me that though the Bronx UFT has been open since Monday and apparently they have yet to turn on their phones.

"Can you transfer me there please?"

Lance responds, "We can't."

"Can you try?"

"OK, I'll try."

Lance gives it the old college try. While on hold I hear New Age music and Lance at the same time trying to transfer me and asking others how to transfer calls. This is my UFT and yours too, hard at work. And putting our union dues to good work.

I did eventually reach out to someone, a teacher, who actually knew what to do. So problem solved. For now. 

But, why are our dues not only going to Lance and Tim, but to a concierge service as well? The definition of a concierge as I know it is...

 a usually multilingual hotel staff member who handles luggage and mail, makes reservations, and arranges tours broadly : a person employed (as by a business) to make arrangements or run errands

Lance and Tim I believe are not concierges in the traditional sense. I believe they are receptionists/phone operators. But since they and the UFT are calling them concierges guess what? I want Mulgrew's US Open tickets for this week. I'll take quarter final tickets. Two. I'm not greedy.

Oh, and two tickets for The Who, good seats, at Jones Beach on September 15.

I don't think I am being out of line. Tim and Lance work for all of us dues paying over 100 dollars a month teachers. We here at SBSB suggest you pick up the phone ring Lance or Tim Tuesday and get what you need.

Hell, see if they can't send out fir your dry cleaning and get your shoes polished.