After listening to Mike Mulgrew in today's town hall I am more convinced than ever that there will be 100% remote learning come September. The DOE has no idea what it is doing. They are fucking it up for everyone. The way I see it the DOE is putting hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of lives at stake through their own ineptitude. A team with a brain damaged chimp can do better.

But never to worry. We here at SBSB are smarter than all the people put together at Tweed (yeah, the bar is low, but we do what we can). We have come up with a plan.

The Crack Team spent had a weekend retreat with several world renowned New York City teachers and Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp to come up with several plans to not only insure the safety of the students and staff, but to ensure that learning, real learning, will happen.

At the retreat we decided on three proposals to share on these pages with the rank and file. These plans are making their world premiere on this blog.


The Borg Plan©

This plan was heavily debated at this past weekend's retreat. We all agreed, and surprisingly so did Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp, that assimilating the students of New York City would not be a good thing. But as usual Zippy found a way.

Zippy suggested that we get Seven of Nine to come to the Bronx wearing her hottest outfit. Zippy's reasoning is that Seven of Nine while human, still has can tie into the Borg through the Borg implants she still has. The rest of us didn't want to ask why she must wear a hot outfit.

Anyhoo, Seven of Nine will use Borg technology to impart all knowledge on all the students of New York City. No cube, no assimilation, no explosions. Just putting knowledge into the students heads however the Borg do it.

The Monsters Inc Plan©

This one is simple and to the point.

Remember those guys that came through the windows when it was thought that there was contamination? They worked for the CDA (Child Contamination Agency).

The plan is to each student, each teacher, administrator, secretary, social worker, etc... get their own individual suit. Of course each suit will be free for everyone.

We all saw how good those suits work against any child contamination. Think how good those suits will do against COVID-19!

The Get Smart Plan©

My favorite plan. The Crack Team's favorite plan. The favorite plan of the world renowned NYC teachers. But not Zippy's favorite plan.

We break into CONTROL's headquarters and steal the famed Cone of Silence. Once it is brought back to the Bronx, Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp reverse engineers the cone and removes the silence mechanism from it and adds a germ killer aspect to it, or at the very least a germ preventer. And instead of each cone being for two people, each cone is for one individual.

Once Zippy does his part, we send the plans out to a local manufacturer where these "Cones of Germ Safety" will be made and distributed for free.

Once in the hands of students and staff schools will reopen with everyone having a "Cone of Germ Safety" around them.

Those are our three proposals. We here at SBSB would like to hear from anyone and everyone with their thoughts and which plan is favored. Please leave your comments.

Some years ago, well actually in 2005 whilst doing family research, I asked my dad if his
dad ever voted. Being that my grandfather was a precinct captain in the Bronx for Tammany Hall and my dad regaled with how my grandfather manipulated voting, I was curious.

My dad's answer wasn't yes or no, but rather; "Do you mean how many times did he vote on Election Day?"

Turns out my dear old grandpa voted early and quite often on Election Day. He used different names, different birthdays. All for the guys at Tammany.

So how does this matter to you, the DOE employee? The "Return to Buildings Survey" is out!!!!!!!! (click to enlarge)


So as you read this you think, why is this blogger so excited? The Crack Team's computer guy, Zippy the Brain Damage Chimp found a flaw.

Just like my grandpa, you can fill it out early and often on the survey. Here's the link. 

Take the survey as many times as you wish. In fact, send the survey to grandma, grandpa, you family all over the world. Does your pet have opposable thumbs? Let Fido or Fluffy take the survey!!


Just remember, fill it out early and often. If doing survey on phone, look for arrow in lower right corner. If on desktop, click next.

I'm not at liberty to say who wrote this. This person is an indispensable member of MORE.

MORE plans on bring front and center in the demands of the rank and file during negotiations for our new contract. The rank and file and MORE will be heard!  Loudly, clearly, and succinctly.


Dear Brother Mulgrew,

Thanks to you and the Division VP’s for eliciting member views through the contract surveys.   I hope this is just the beginning of a local-wide conversation as we make the necessary preparations to defend our living and working conditions, and public education itself, in very challenging circumstances.

Here’s my gist on our upcoming contract negotiations:   

No Givebacks - No Zeros - No New Contract – No Work

Janus or No Janus we have a Democrat Mayor and Democrat Governor who are trimming their budgets to pass along the Federal budget cuts to the public-sector workers of New York.  No doubt de Blasio and Cuomo will point fingers at one another and the Federal government but where does that leave the UFT contract come November?  

If the Supreme Court rules as expected, the UFT will be preoccupied in the coming months to maintain its membership and financial solvency.  How does the SCOTUS ruling combined with trickle down budget cuts affect the bargaining position of the UFT?  

The best response to Janus and Trump et al is an informed and organized rank and file, in close alliance with other workers and our school communities.  The time to organize is now.

We must hold our local and state politicians accountable and demand a decent contract by November 2018. 

What a week it has been. The decision to run a joint slate between MORE and New Action has surely caused an impact from celebrations throughout the galaxy to those who remain in denial.

For those still in denial we here at SBSB recommend that the 5 stages of grief be looked into. Anger will come next, and then bargaining (Some say bargaining has been non-stop) and then depression and then acceptance.

The Crack Team came into some interesting writing from UFT Solidarity over the weekend that are curious. The Crack Team's  journalism intern Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp© was given the task of responding to the writings. As per the somewhat usual method, the responses will be within the body of the email in red. 


As we speak, there is a meeting taking place in NYC now Ooooh. Ominous words. Must be a conspiracy brewing. Another UFT group GUESS WHO???  is nominating their own UFT presidential candidate to run against me Yes, it is always about you, you, you, you, you!! and UFT Solidarity the Shlimazel Caucus. And of course bringing up the rear those who are not allowed to be named nor shown on campaign posters. In fact why are they mentioned?. This despite many repeated attempts by us to work together When these attempts are made practically every day when do they stop being attempts and being annoyances and/or OCD?  to overthrow A vote it not an overthrow Mike Mulgrew and friends Aren't Mulgrew and Friends on Nick Jr?. As they have stated, this group is not interested in winning top positions, but rather a few high school seats in the UFT Executive Board Not a few, but all. Same with middle school exec board. Those are quite winnable. MORE won a plurality of HS exec board seats in 2013 Seats we offered for them to have We did not know that here at SBSB how can that offer be refused? By the way, thank you, thank you!. We even offered top slate positions Except the presidency. Why is that? Would not someone who felt secure and grounded with themselves not be worried in a free and fair process of selecting the president. However, ego EGO? Mr Pot meet Mr Kettle. When one has already decreed that one has already one and is going to Staples (Tsk, tsk) to check out office furniture, has priced sashes, has practiced speeches dressed as UFT president in the mirror, been unable to accept criticism, and has probably inquired on how to get a replica Oval Office desk how is it ego on the part of MORE? Wouldn't it just be darn good smarts and good taste? Dang, again with the PROJECTING! got in the way and now the membership's nose is being cut to spite it's face No, someone is just upset about not getting their way. A sad day for UFT members everywhere No. What can we do, but continue to push forward Go for it. If we have to, we will beat all of them Beat? Why is this taken so personal? and bring hope and representation It would have had more (pardon the pun) resonance if UFT Solidarity was bringing balance back to the Force back to the UFT. We have no other choice Who cares. The students, staff and parents depend on this Yes, but not on UFT Solidarity the Shlimazel Caucus . The school system here in NYC depends on us winning ROTFLOAO!.

And then from the ICE List Serv....

Dear UFT brothers and sisters,  

 We had been informed of this coalition for some time now . We didn't say or do anything to stop it, because we want it to happen Yeah sure. Heck, if you remember I have been pushing for a New Action MORE for years There is a difference and besides no one at MORE was angling for a seat on exec board. http://daffyduck.org/from-the-frustration-chaos-a-new-uft-group-emerges

This is better for the membership Yeah it is, much, much, much, much better, and bad for Unity. As is the number of Unity members cutting ties and joining us 100 is a big number? Oh, what about the Captain Picard guy?. 

We, UFT Solidarity, will continue to push forward And go around in circles. We will continue to represent and support. How your groups respond to our upcoming initiatives and actions is up to you This statement is confusing. No one really cares. How all our campaigns run will depend on all of us. 

 Enjoy your weekend and good luck tomorrow. Blah, blah, blah, blah. 

No one here  or anywhere can keep up with all the spin.

Did I have a dream or did the dream have me?--Peart, Neil (2003)

I awoke in a cold sweat this first morning of Rosh Hashanah. I had dreamt that Donald Trump not only had decided to give up his quest to be President of the United States and run instead for UFT president, but thankfully had lost resoundingly.

As I lie in groggy in bed praying to YHWH that it was nothing but a dream I thought to myself, "What qualifications does The Trumpster have to be UFT president, let alone run in the election?"

Before heading off to Shul I met with The Crack Team for our annual Rosh Hashanah breakfast over bagels and lox and we put our collective minds together. We could not think of one qualification that Trump had to be UFT president.

Thankfully The Crack Team intern Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp was able to list several dis-qualifications that would enable Trump to at the very least run and which would be his downfall in losing.

Zippy has given us permission to list his ideas on this blog but since we had no bananas to give him, we promised Zippy full copyright rights over his list.

Zippy The Brain Damaged Chimp's List of Donald Trump's "Dis-Qualifications" to Run and then Lose in the UFT Election©

1. Trump is a narcissist.

2. Trump can only attack others instead of debating the facts.

3. Trump embellishes his accomplishments.

4. Trump belittles everyone who contradicts him.

5. Trump sues anyone and everyone who peels back the veneer of what he himself has built up in his mind.

6. Trump makes empty promises.

7. Trump exaggerates his support.

8. Trump is a cult of personality.

9. Trump has pissed off the very people that he should be cooperating with.

10. Trump is a bully.

11. Trump's favorite Beatles song, "I, Me, Mine."

12. Trump is a fraud.

13. Trump sinks to the level of the lowest common denominator.

14. Trump lies.

15. Trump can't take responsibility for his screw ups.

16. Trump bogarts other people's stuff.

17. Trump believes he is an agent of change.

18. Trump has tantrums when he doesn't get his way.

The Crack Team, on behalf of Zippy, ask that if you do use any of this list that you please attribute it to Zippy and not The Crack Team. This will help us in the future on paying Zippy and it will also boost his confidence.

On behalf of Zippy, thank you.

Earlier this morning, the SBSB news team received an email with something quite interesting regarding UFT Solidarity. The email was turned over to The Crack Team for analysis and confirmation.

This blog post would have been posted much earlier in the day if two things did not happen. One, several members of The Crack Team laughed so hard that they became completely incontinent and had to be rushed to the Westchester Medical Center ER. They are back to work now after being thoroughly cleaned up, checked for injuries, and their clothes sent to the dry cleaners.

Second, when fed the information in the email, the SBSB computers completely went on the fritz and since our IT person was at the ER as well (For attempting to gouge his eyes out) we had to turn to our IT intern, Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp, to get the computers up and running again.

Before we share with the SBSB readership, our legal intern, Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp (Zippy wears many hats), has suggested that we blur out any images in which our readers might find offensive and to warn those with weak constitutions, heart conditions, small children, the elderly, to avert their eyes or wear the protective visor that Spock wore when greeting the Medusan ambassador Kollos.

Are you ready? Last chance. OK, here we go.

There you have it. And just in case anyone thinks The Crack Team created this, you are wrong so go here.

As usual the autocratic nature of UFT Solidarity allows room for only one voice, one face, one opinion, one idea.

A caucus or even a union us more than just one person, it is many people contributing many ideas, opinions, voices, faces, that when meshed together join and make one larger and more importantly, stronger voice that everyone will not only listen to but hear as well.

When you run a caucus in the UFT election you are part of a team, a slate. Why anyone would want to focus all the attention on just themselves is beyond reproach.

The community, the students, the education process needs to be emphasized in any campaign poster. As written about here, just focusing on teachers is counter productive to the cause.

Besides, is this not putting the cart before the horse? Would one not have to be on the ballot first?

From an aesthetic point of view this is a mess. My dad was in advertising, my wife an artist and graphic designer. The background color is a mess, along with the matted colors of the fonts. The fonts are a mess, all out of place, some bigger than others. There is nothing to catch your eye and there are just way too many words and promises that there is nothing that stands out and there is no substance. Too many promises that are just generic or no way to keep.

But this is reminiscent of a child that decides in November he is going to be Batman for Halloween the following year. By November 2, the child already is pestering mommy and daddy if he can be Batman, watching Batman to learn how to move and speak like him.

Again, a caucus is for the people, by the people, and of the people of the caucus. Of course this is discounting Unity. Egos and personal vendettas must be checked at the door and the common good is what must be the goal. Being president of the UFT is a democratic process not a coronation.

Where is Snowball when we need him?

Throughout the summer the entire world had been hearing that UFT Solidarity was to have a rally in front of Superintendent Aimee Horowitz's office in Staten Island this past Wednesday, August 26. The world was ready.

Just an aside, Aimee Horowitz is High School Superintendent for Staten Island and Superintendent for the Renewal Schools. Aimee has also been in the news recently for several of her schools fixing grades and her ignoring the warning signs and the whistle blowers.

We do not condone Aimee Horowitz's actions and believe the world would be better off without her in education. But, this grade fixing credit recovery crud has been happening since Uncle Mike and we here at SBSB question where was the NYC media then.

Now back to the fun.

So all summer as mankind was awaiting the hordes of humanity emerging on 715 Ocean Terrace in Staten Island so that Aimee Horowitz would quake in fear of the Movement that is UFT Solidarity we here at SBSB awaited with bated breath for that day.

Sadly, I was in Lake George but news travels up I-87.

UFT Solidarity had planned not to have the rally in front of the campus of the Michael J. Petrides School on the sidewalk, but rather in front of the building itself. On the property.

The DOE put the kibosh on that and rightly so.

Your request for a permit to hold a demonstration at the Michael J. Petrides School has been reviewed and is denied. Chancellor’s Regulation D-180 does not authorize the issuance of a permit for such purposes.    

Sylvia Jamison 
Supervisor of Extended Use 
New York City Department of Education 
52 Chambers Street  New York, NY 10007 
212-374-6009 
[email protected]

Hmmm, Chancellor's reg D-180.

Someone from UFT Solidarity wrote back. Can't say who, but someone did.




Just an aside. Shouldn't the woman be addressed as Ms Jamison, not Ms Sylvia? Are we living in 1962 Mississippi?

But UFT Solidarity thinks it made a case. We wondered that too so we decided to have The Crack Team's legal intern, Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp examine D-180 and with a focus on I.F. and I.H. Here are the two lines in question;

Permits may be granted for civic forums and community centers in accordance with applicable law.
Permits may be granted for holding social, civic, and recreational meetings and entertainment, and other uses pertaining to the welfare of the community.  All such uses  shall be non - exclusive and open to the general public.

Zippy says;

"UFT Solidarity is not a community nor civic organization. UFT Solidarity does not represent the citizens. While it does have CITIZENS amongst its ranks, it is not representative of the community as a whole. Its focus is narrow and for a select few. UFT Solidarity is not open nor is it inclusive to the entire community. It is also not recreational in nature. It is amazing that UFT Solidarity can't get past their own self worth to see this!"

Zippy also added;

"However, UFT Solidarity should have attempted to try selling itself as an entertainment act. Their argument might have met with success."

So what became of this rally? As you can see in the photo, it set the world on fire (Again, identities were obscured by a photo of Tommy Lee of Mötley Crüe. We apologize to Mr Lee.

Seven people! Horowitz must have been cowering under her desk.

Yes, UFT Solidarity is a movement. A bowel movement.

She's baaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

The Bayou Schicksa otherwise known as Campbell Brown is back sharing what little grasp she has on reality with those she believes she lords over from her gilded perch.

Campbell, who converted to Judaism for her husband, Iraq War provocateur and mass murderer, Dan Senor, has now come out with a website known as Common Sense Contract hoping that she, and she alone, will be the voice of reason that all those negotiating will set eyes upon her words and say to themselves, "Hey, The Bayou Schicksa has some very good points." Sadly, but of course not surprisingly, only the New York Post feels that way.

What is it that drives Campbell to inject herself into the education debate? Is it that she has nothing to do at home all day whilst the children are out and about with their individual nanny's? There are so many self-righteous do good education deformers out there that her voice easily gets lost in the noise and if she did not have the name she has would never be given a second glance.

Perhaps Campbell can take time from her busy schedule of shopping to look into Iraq War war crimes and the lies that led to our involvement for over ten years in the quagmire of Iraq. I suggest that she disguise the bawdy talk that Dan Senor enjoys so much and ask him hard questions as to his involvement of the thousands that died for no reason.

But since she probably shan't let's go over her op-ed piece in yesterday's New York Post.

Due to the ease of just discrediting everything she spewed forth, we enlisted the services of Zippy the Brain Damaged Wonder Chimp to assist.

The Bayou Schicksa says; Teachers can be absent for up to 20 days without giving any notice or any reason and still face no penalty whatsoever. Teachers can’t be absent without notice unless there is an emergency. If they don’t show up without a reason for three straight days, they can be put on unpaid leave and reinstated only if they prove an emergency kept them from alerting the school.

Hmmmm. What does the contract say? 

  Teachers who are absent for 20 consecutive school days without notice shall be deemed to have resigned unless they have reasonable cause for failure to notify. The issue of the reasonableness of the cause and the penalty, if any, shall be subject to the grievance procedure, including binding arbitration, set forth in Article Twenty-Two

Seems reasonable. What happens if you are kidnapped, in an accident, lost, whatever. NO where does it say without a penalty. You need a pretty gosh darn good reason. But again, since there is that pesky thing known as due process, which even Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp understands better than Campbell, well tough you know what.

Seriously, how often does this happen? Twenty days without notice, even three? And what is the emergency? Teachers, even teachers that are out legitimately for over three days call in and must have some time of proof, whether medical, psychological, or even for jury duty. Zippy wants to know why Campbell feels we must be treated as children. 

The typical parent-teacher conference often lasts two or three minutes.

It does? Says who? On the elementary level parent conferences are 10-15 minutes and there are two sessions, and evening and an afternoon.

Teachers aren’t required to talk with, e-mail or respond to parents outside the narrow hours of the school day.

No, neither are we required to make home visits. But teachers do, and I can speak as a parent, make time to respond to emails, make phone calls when needed and return phone calls as well. Yes, it can be difficult at times to get a response from a teacher, but unlike the Bayou Schicksa, teachers have families and lives to lead. 

Parents should be allowed to reach out to teachers by e-mail or phone and expect a timely response, and they should be promised at least 15 minutes per child in their teacher-parent conferences.

See above. But Zippy just brought up a very good point (This is why we pay him so well). Why is the onus on the teachers? What about those parents that never show for parent conferences, never return calls, never pick up the report cards, never inquire as to their child's education? What about those parents? Where is Campbell leading the way to encourage these parents to be involved?

And where was the Bayou Schicksa for the last 12 years as Bloomberg and pals systematically cut the parents voices out of their children's education? Zippy says she was nowhere. 

Taxpayers spend a staggering $144 million a year on teachers who no longer have jobs but draw their full salary anyway. Teachers who lose their jobs may no longer stay on paid leave for the rest of their careers at taxpayer expense. Instead, they get one year to find a new position or move to unpaid leave until they do.

They did not lose their jobs, they lose their positions through no fault of their own. Why would a principal hire a 20 year veteran teacher making $90k or thereabouts instead of an untenured, 24 year year old making about $46k?

Case in point. As mentioned on these pages my school, PS 154 went without a physical education teacher from October through February. I know personally of several ATR's with phys ed licenses. None of them were brought in, none of them were interviewed, none of them were considered. WHo got the job? A 24 year old rookie teacher. 

Teachers who sexually harass children can stay in the classroom if an unelected arbitrator sees no reason they should be fired.

So if it is an elected arbitrator it is OK? Remember Campbell, it takes 2 parties to sign a contract. But, if they return to the classroom does that not mean that the arbitrator found the charges lacking? 

But maybe Campbell has a point. Such cases, if misdemeanors, should be heard in NYC Criminal Court in which the judges are; 

appointed by the Mayor of New York City to a 10-year term.

Ooops! Well maybe all sex cases can be heard in New York State Supreme Court in which...

...According to statute, however, candidates for the supreme court (the major trial court) are chosen through a party convention system, in which primary voters elect convention delegates who choose candidates for the judgeships.

 NO! Wait!! Federal court. No. Those judges are appointed for life. Dang Campbell, what to do? Zippy says he has an idea. Why not appoint Campbell judge, prosecutor, and jury and she can decide. 

Zippy also suggests that since Campbell is such a protector of children that she can look into who is responsible for all the dead and maimed children in Iraq and bring her husband to trial for war crimes.

Tenured teachers facing substantiated charges of sexual misconduct should be suspended without pay. 

They're are. Two months without pay if there is probable cause. It is in the contract Campbell.

And the chancellor should have final say on firing the teacher after a hearing — not a local arbitrator who is not accountable to parents, voters or the mayor.

So, even though a teachers is found not to have committed what they are accused of doing they can still lose their job, their livelihood, at the whim of the chancellor? Does that not violate the 14th Amendment which your die in the wool Republican husband so feverishly believes?

But I see Campbell's point. Her husband Dan Senor is responsible, directly and indirectly, for thousands of deaths and atrocities in Iraq. One person, George W. felt that Dan was above it all.

The Bayou Schicksa has too much time on her hands. She is bogarting her way into this deform debate to keep herself relevant. Perhaps it is time she returns to CNN and do what she does best. Report of kitten fashion shows.