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I spent a full week away from the sports world and returned just in time to watch the Giants gift the NFC East lead to Kirk Cousins.
How does that expression go? Death, taxes, and Eli Manning interceptions?
Anyway, this week we're going straight to the picks!
[Record on the year: 83-77-6]
[Record last week: 8-8]
(Note that in the charitable spirit of Thanksgiving I passed the NFL pick duties along to BI writer Scott Davis for Week 12. Last time I'm doing that!)
Green Bay Packers (-3) @ Detroit Lions
Morry Gash/AP
The Lions technically still aren't eliminated from playoff contention, which is shocking considering they were the single worst team in football only a few weeks ago. The Martha Ford Magic continues!
But Aaron Rodgers is due for a big game. How many weeks is it now that we've said this?
The Pick: Packers -3
San Francisco 49ers (+7) @ Chicago Bears
Jay Cutler is quietly having the best season of his career ... and the Bears are sneakily kind of good?
The pick: Bears -7
Cincinnati Bengals (-9.5) @ Cleveland Browns
Austin Davis is the 24th different quarterback to make a start for the Browns since 1999. 24! You could field an entire offense and defense just with Browns quarterbacks.
Didn't these two teams just play? Do they really have to do it again?
The pick: Titans -2.5
Houston Texans (+3) @ Buffalo Bills
Bob Levey/Getty
Let's not over-think this one: Brian Hoyer on the road? No thanks.
The pick: Bills -3
Baltimore Ravens (+4) @ Miami Dolphins
I like the Dolphins to win this one but the Ravens somehow manage to keep everything close. Fun fact: I saw Will Hill play in high school and he returned at least two blocked FGs for touchdowns.
The pick: Ravens +4
Carolina Panthers (-7) @ New Orleans Saints
Upset of the week! Saints win outright! (Or at least keep it close? Possibly? No?)
The pick: Saints +7
Seattle Seahawks (PK) @ Minnesota Vikings
Best game of the week, and a possible playoff preview. Even without Jimmy Graham, I think the Seahawks eek this one out. The more interesting question is where Marshawn Lynch ends up next season.
The pick: Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals (-5.5) @ St. Louis Rams
Rob Carr/Getty
Yo, what happened to the Rams? How many more weeks of Jeff Fisher? One?
The pick: Cardinals -5.5
Atlanta Falcons (+2) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I have a very important $1 bet with aforementioned BI writer Scott Davis (see above) on whether or not the Falcons will make the playoffs. Help me out, Jameis!
The pick: Bucs -2
New York Jets (-2) @ New York Giants
Patrick Smith/Getty
Odell Beckham vs. a depleted Jets secondary? Yes, please!
The pick: Giants +2
Denver Broncos (-4) @ San Diego Chargers
Why did Peyton Manning only help Brock Osweiler out at halftime? Why wasn't he on the sidelines? What kind of LEADER is he? I smell a quarterback controversy!
The pick: Broncos -4
Kansas City Chiefs (-3) @ Oakland Raiders
I like the Chiefs, but I'm not sure the Raiders are three-point underdogs at home.
The pick: Raiders +3
Philadelphia Eagles (+9.5) @ New England Patriots
Justin Edmonds/Getty
The Boston Red Sox are spending $217 million on a 30-year-old pitcher who has been terrible in the post-season throughout his career!
The pick: Patriots -9.5
Indianapolis Colts (+7) @ Pittsburgh Steelers
The Steelers are going to be a very scary wild card opponent ... if they can make the playoffs.
The pick: Steelers -7
Dallas Cowboys (+4.5) @ Washington Redskins
Just give it up, Jerry. Come on. It's just getting sad at this point.