Dear HN,
As a community of creative, passionate, and ambitious people, I have a question for HN.
I am at an interesting point in life. I am 25 yrs. old, and I am a programmer. I know what I want to pursue, but I don't know how to do it. I have tried. I saved up money and quit my job 2 months ago to pursue my passion. I am going to move to a different city in a few months anyway, so that decision was low risk and easy to make.
My "passion" has many sides. I love 2d/3d real-time graphics. I also love programming language design. I am deeply devoted to the Scheme programming language, and I love using it to construct 2d/3d worlds which I can interact with. I like games, and obviously I should be working with games, but I definitely don't enjoy game programming (game logic, AI, etc.).
My love for programming language design leads me to compilers, syntactual abstraction, macro transformers, etc. I believe that graphics programming is currently bulky and complicated, and I would like to see more languages compiling itself into vertex/geometry/fragment shaders, scene graphs, etc.
It's been 2 months. I have found that I haven't even been able to work on the things I'm interested in - I have to make products that sell, right? I've been developing an iPhone game, and 95% of the work has been making 3d models, putting graphics together, marketing, integrating audio, developing a menu system, integrating fonts, and building the actual game logic.
It's a struggle. I want to do research, and I think I'd be good at it. But I have to make money. It's either one or the other, I can't possibly do both at the same time, unless I get paid to do the research I want to do. I'm going to finish my iPhone game, but I doubt I'll make much off it. From here, my options are, in order of preference:
* Work on a graphics engine and do the interesting work. License it and sell it for something like $100/license.
* Find contracting work to do graphics programming for games.
* Look for part-time contracting work and work on the interesting stuff on the side.
* Get a normal full-time programming job and try to be satisfied.
These are in order of "passion <=> practicality". The problem is that there's a linear correspondence to "lack of money <=> money".
With all that said, I truly do believe that if I was somehow funded for a few years, my passionate work would truly pay off and I could start making money off of it. It's a bootstrapping problem.
I would also love to meet people with my interests and/or passion. I know you are out there, those who can either supplement or complement me with the same or different talents, and I want to be shaped and inspired by you.
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm whining. I think it's extremely important that you figure out how to do what you LOVE in life, even if it takes a long time to build up to it. I'm not looking for quick solutions, I just want to know how I can build up to it. Any advice?
You can see the work that I've been doing here: http://jlongster.com/blog/
To be brutal, it sounds like what you're in love with is noodling around, with no particular deliverable.
As Jobs said "real artists ship".
My two pieces of advice:
1) keep honing your ideas until you've got something that is: * bounded * achievable * of interest to someone else ...then try to develop and productize that
2) in the mean time, keep the lights on and Ramen cooking by doing some contract work. It's a challenge to keep booked up 40 hrs/week, even if you're trying, so you shouldn't have trouble keeping it down to 20 hrs/week, and working on your passion in the other 20-40.