This is a problem with shipping with Fedex too. There are a bunch of variable charges that aren't finalized until after the shipment has been delivered. In practice it is rarely and issue and using post paid labels instead of prepaid shipping labels is a better system for most businesses anyways.
Is the order cost variable with digikey because the shipping weight is not known or is there another reason?
Digi-key, Mouser should have retails office ___location in Silicon Valley where anyone can order on-line and pickup in person when notified the order is ready via email/txt.