But the spectrum of harshness is like the spectrum of spicy food. While I may be content with spicier food than my mother is, if I forced her to eat some of the food I find palatable, she would cry.
So if I want to have a pleasant, welcoming, and accessible meal, I should probably cook it to her spice level instead of mine.
You’re both right. In any other situation we’d say “ok, these are the limits between which 2 SD of the population falls, outliers will just have to deal with it”. And that would work. Here however we can’t measure anything, so we have no idea where to place the limits, or even what the distribution looks like.
So if I want to have a pleasant, welcoming, and accessible meal, I should probably cook it to her spice level instead of mine.