Don’t have kids if you haven’t already. I’ve seen this exact scenario tear apart many relationships. Where you live often reflects underlying values, so long-term sustained disagreement in this area is very hard to survive from what I’ve seen. Not trying to doom you, but look at the language you’re using: she complains every day, you’re dreading moving back, etc.

Not to imply that where you live has to be both partners’ first choice, but if you can’t be on the same page that it’s a good compromise, one of you is just going to be miserable.