This is the unwritten law of California first-time home ownership

That's a cop out. I bought my first home (2 br 2 ba condo) in Mountain View at age 25 with no assistance whatsoever, and at that point was still making well under 100K. I just prioritized accordingly.

To say that's the practice now is one thing, but 20 years ago? Hogwash... especially given the 2001 and 2009 drops.