I'm sorry you are feeling anxiety and somehow "less". I've felt like that. I know others have too. It sucks, but its common and it will pass.
As for everything else, the biggest lesson that I have learned from my mentors this year is that everything is relative. For every choice you can make as a developer there are pros and cons. This language or that one. This framework or another, the list goes on and on and on. In fact making choices is a big part of everything we do. Naming variables is hard, primarily because we have to choose the best name. But how do we choose?
Learning how to make an informed choice is a powerful skill. The power I think, is from learning how to make a choice that once made, is satisfying to you. In other words the choices are hard and anxiety inducing: because they are choices. A silly assessment, but true. Pain is unfortunate because it hurts. Choices create anxiety becuase we have to make a choice and live with an unknown outcome.
So the hack, the trick, is to spend less effort on choosing and the majority of the effort on defining the context around the choice.
To your final statements: "I just want to work without feeling bored or overwhelmed. Any suggestions?"
I would say you should really evaluate the space of boredom, and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Spend most of your time just defining this. Give it a day or to and think about it, sleep on it.
Were you bored because you were just doing tutorials for no clear reason? >> Pick a project or outcome not an implementation.
Do you feel overwhelmed when you don't know what is next? >> Find a mentor.
Obviously these are just guesses, I don't know your situation. And if you just want another human to bounce ideas off of let me know.
As for everything else, the biggest lesson that I have learned from my mentors this year is that everything is relative. For every choice you can make as a developer there are pros and cons. This language or that one. This framework or another, the list goes on and on and on. In fact making choices is a big part of everything we do. Naming variables is hard, primarily because we have to choose the best name. But how do we choose?
Learning how to make an informed choice is a powerful skill. The power I think, is from learning how to make a choice that once made, is satisfying to you. In other words the choices are hard and anxiety inducing: because they are choices. A silly assessment, but true. Pain is unfortunate because it hurts. Choices create anxiety becuase we have to make a choice and live with an unknown outcome.
So the hack, the trick, is to spend less effort on choosing and the majority of the effort on defining the context around the choice.
To your final statements: "I just want to work without feeling bored or overwhelmed. Any suggestions?"
I would say you should really evaluate the space of boredom, and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Spend most of your time just defining this. Give it a day or to and think about it, sleep on it.
Were you bored because you were just doing tutorials for no clear reason? >> Pick a project or outcome not an implementation.
Do you feel overwhelmed when you don't know what is next? >> Find a mentor.
Obviously these are just guesses, I don't know your situation. And if you just want another human to bounce ideas off of let me know.