I was sitting here mulling over why you wouldn't think that people are essentially good and it dawns on me that a lot of people are scared and likely have behaviors that suggest they aren't good (e.g. drive by someone with a flat tire in the rain because they are scared it's a robbery setup for passer-bys)
I think if you just look at your day to day interactions, most people are decent. I doubt many people are trying to rob you, hit you or actively steal from you. Sure there are outliers, but the majority don't do this.
Lastly, as a reformed paranoid "everyone is out to get me", I would make the observation that the energy you put out there has maybe 70% to do with the types of reactions you get back.
A friendly, open-faced "Hello" gets a hell of a different response from a shrouded, closed off, nervous "Hello".
Try and be more free for 3 days and see if the experience you have with others is better.
Hey, don't get my wrong! I'm probably one of the most cheerful and happy people you'll ever meet in real life. I'm always smiling and enthusiastic with everything I do. And you're right - people tend to (usually) treat me the same way. Everything is beautiful on the surface, and that's just about never where I have a problem.
I've been betrayed by a lot of people I trusted, and I've had to do some things (not for my own good) that I'm not proud of myself. I'm in the process of blogging it (http://shenglong.posterous.com/a-prelude-to-eternity), but unfortunately, it's very long and I've only had time to finish the prelude. In the end, I've seen what people are capable of when they think they can't be held accountable, and that's the primary driver of my cynicism.
Regardless, I still treat every person I meet with respect. It's just, in the back of my head, I'm cautious about what could happen.
Edit: I don't know if I can post links like this. If not, let me know and I'll edit it out. It's for reference, not for publicity.
I hope you continue your blogging, as it seems like quite an interesting story. It sucks you've been betrayed so many times by those you trust, but I hope you don't lose faith in your fellow humans.
It truly saddens me to know people don't believe in the innate goodness of fellow human beings.
Having said that, I have an overdeveloped sense of vengeance, and I do not trust the law to protect me suitably. I wish I were better at the approach taken by Gandhi, but I have not internalized his wisdom yet, though I recognize it (so that gives me hope).
I think most people are good but not because it's innate. I think humans are like electricity, seeking the path of least resistance. Attracted to pleasure, averse to pain, people judge circumstances and weigh their options according to what they think will be the most pleasant / least unpleasant set of consequences. Skewed by their predilection for short-term or long-term consequences. This results in people being essentially good, but not because it's intrinsic but rather because "good" generally has more positive consequences associated with it than evil.
"Should I steal this?" is always weighed more heavily against "Will I get caught?" and/or "Will this cause me guilt or affect my self-worth?" rather than "Is it wrong?"
Maybe it's the difference between "people act good most of the time" and people truly being good. I don't think the vast majority of people are up to something criminal right this moment, but I might be less confident that 99% of people are motivated by good intentions. "Good intentions" and "not a criminal" are very different standards, but that's the point.
The fear thing made me think something else entirely: does it count as being good if a person acts good out of fear? (Of being caught/punished.) Everyone's answer to that question may also colour their views on peoples' goodness.
This just reminded me of an interesting idea one of my highschool teachers proposed: mother that doesn't love their child, but still performs all of her motherly duties because she feels a responsibility towards the child?
Is she worse than a mother that loves her child? Is she better because she can 'do the right thing' even though her feelings might opposed?
I'm not so sure about this. People might know what is good (for the most part), but in weakness it is violated, and in strength it is often ignored to pursue self-interest.
Let's just say that, I've been betrayed, and I'm very aware of the circumstances needed to be betrayed by people I care about -- some of them are impossibly extreme (and some aren't so much), but they do exist, and you do have to navigate that. Whether the person would be apologetic or not after the fact really doesn't enter into it.
If one lives, I think you automatically develop protections against other people. I think that you've set up a protection zone around yourself just like everyone else. But it's a good one -- instead of withdrawing, you simply force the surface interaction to be a positive one (as much as you can). Sometimes this translates, sometimes it can backfire. For what it's worth, I think this is the right way to go. You can be wary, but still positive about your interactions.
But there's a necessary bit of detachment -- I can wave to people on the street, but I'm not going to let just anyone into my apartment.
I'm with you, but I'm not so sure that it's not that people aren't good, but that the human race is inherently selfish, and many of the good ones are afraid of conflict.
I think if you just look at your day to day interactions, most people are decent. I doubt many people are trying to rob you, hit you or actively steal from you. Sure there are outliers, but the majority don't do this.
Lastly, as a reformed paranoid "everyone is out to get me", I would make the observation that the energy you put out there has maybe 70% to do with the types of reactions you get back.
A friendly, open-faced "Hello" gets a hell of a different response from a shrouded, closed off, nervous "Hello".
Try and be more free for 3 days and see if the experience you have with others is better.