The impact that you describe very broadly reminds me of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome. I'm still learning about the subject, so the only nearby useful axis point I'm aware of is the concept of chronic trauma, which I'm surprisingly unable to find a synopsis on in Wikipedia (the closest I can find is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_..., which is vaguely in the ballpark but a couple notches too far).
Personality disorders have the potential to have the same sort of impact as water on a rock over time. I wonder how this person impacted other people at the company - and whether the boundary-defying nature of this sort of problem caused the line between "broken individual" and "DBAs are scary" to be blurred.
It could be very interesting for the various decisionmakers to wind up in a conversation with a good psychologist (psychiatrist?) who might be able to make that line a little bit clearer for everyone (and provide closure) and perhaps even outline ways to screen for this sort of thing happening in the future - which may be the speedbump everyone's (very quietly) stuck at.
It's a bad idea to start pathologizing bad behavior. The vast majority of assholes are just assholes, with no pathological reason for their shitty behavior. It also stigmatizes those with actual medical problems because "being an asshole" isn't a symptom of any disorder you've listed, yet the association is still being reinforced by comments like this.
Honestly I think it’s most akin to an abusive relationship. You love the person for their good parts/periods, but the bad in reality outweighs the good.
The impact that you describe very broadly reminds me of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome. I'm still learning about the subject, so the only nearby useful axis point I'm aware of is the concept of chronic trauma, which I'm surprisingly unable to find a synopsis on in Wikipedia (the closest I can find is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_..., which is vaguely in the ballpark but a couple notches too far).
Personality disorders have the potential to have the same sort of impact as water on a rock over time. I wonder how this person impacted other people at the company - and whether the boundary-defying nature of this sort of problem caused the line between "broken individual" and "DBAs are scary" to be blurred.
It could be very interesting for the various decisionmakers to wind up in a conversation with a good psychologist (psychiatrist?) who might be able to make that line a little bit clearer for everyone (and provide closure) and perhaps even outline ways to screen for this sort of thing happening in the future - which may be the speedbump everyone's (very quietly) stuck at.