That's why my company is looking for investors who are interested in being at the forefront of the data revolution, using our data rowboat that will allow you to proactively leverage your data synergies to break down organizational data silos and use analytics to address your core competencies in order to leverage a strategic advantage to become the platform of choice in a holistic environment.
Tell me if this sounds familiar, your company has tons of data but it is spread out all over the place and you can't seem to get good info, you end up hounding engineers to get your reports and provide you information so you can look like you are making data driven decisions. Maybe you've implemented a data lake but now have no idea how to use it. We've got you covered with our patent pending data rowboat solution.
This will allow you to impressive everyone else in the mid level staff meetings by allowing you to say you are doing something around the "data revolution" in your org. The best part is that every implementation will come with a team of our in house consultants that will allow the project to drag on forever so that you always have something to report on in staff meetings and make you look good to your higher ups.
Now you may be an engineer looking to revolutionize your career and get involved in the next step of the glorious October data revolution. Well we've got you covered for a very reasonable price you can enroll in our "data rowboat boot camp", where you will spend hours locked in a room where someone who barely speaks English will read documentation to you.
But act quick otherwise you'll end up as one of the data kulaks as the new data rowboat revolution proceeds into a glorious future with our 5 year plan.
Brb, running to trademark every nautical data metaphor I can get my hands on.
What happens when your data rowboat runs ashore? Introducing Data Tugboat™, your single pane of glass solution for shoring up undocumented ETLs and reeling your data lineage safely into harbor.
Sir, I'm sorry, but a rowboat just won't scale, my needs are too vast. What I'm proposing is the next level of data extraction. You've heard of data mining? Well meet the aquatic equivalent, the Data Trawler. To find out more, contact our solution consultants today!
That's why my company is looking for investors who are interested in being at the forefront of the data revolution, using our data rowboat that will allow you to proactively leverage your data synergies to break down organizational data silos and use analytics to address your core competencies in order to leverage a strategic advantage to become the platform of choice in a holistic environment.
Tell me if this sounds familiar, your company has tons of data but it is spread out all over the place and you can't seem to get good info, you end up hounding engineers to get your reports and provide you information so you can look like you are making data driven decisions. Maybe you've implemented a data lake but now have no idea how to use it. We've got you covered with our patent pending data rowboat solution.
This will allow you to impressive everyone else in the mid level staff meetings by allowing you to say you are doing something around the "data revolution" in your org. The best part is that every implementation will come with a team of our in house consultants that will allow the project to drag on forever so that you always have something to report on in staff meetings and make you look good to your higher ups.
Now you may be an engineer looking to revolutionize your career and get involved in the next step of the glorious October data revolution. Well we've got you covered for a very reasonable price you can enroll in our "data rowboat boot camp", where you will spend hours locked in a room where someone who barely speaks English will read documentation to you.
But act quick otherwise you'll end up as one of the data kulaks as the new data rowboat revolution proceeds into a glorious future with our 5 year plan.