You cannot achieve a dishwasher quality with your hands only. Partially because of the temperature, partially because of chemicals. I will never even try to wash wine glasses by hands.
If you wash by hand you create a lot of friction so I wouldn't underestimate it. You'll likely also have less detergent residue on your dishes if you wash by hand, which apparently could be good for keeping your gut lining intact.
While all these are valid points, you just have to compare hand- and machine-washed glasses once and will never confuse them again. I believe that standard machine cycle includes enough rinsing to wash off detergent, but you may do another rinse just in case.
If I want squeaky-clean glasses, I clean them by hand so I can't say that I relate to your experience. Perhaps the dishwashing detergent that you use contains different chemicals.
Might also be because people misuse the dishwasher a lot - by overloading the machine past capacity, and then running an underpowered (or "eco") program. All those other programs are on the dishwasher for a reason, and it's not to trick the user into wasting more water.
