Did management explain that this was surely the only round of lay-offs, and did people manage to stifle their laughter, or keep from rolling their eyes so hard as to snap their optic nerve?
I bet installing a nursery for colicky babies in the now-empty cubicles would have less of an impact on productivity.
I don't quite recall what they told the rest of us, but another 20% of the remaining employees submitted their resignation within a few weeks. Those who stuck it out were given the option to receive payment as stock and take a pay cut.
I think they may have considered your colicky-baby-nursery idea as a way to make up for office space costs, but they eventually settled on renting 33% of the floorspace to another company.
I bet installing a nursery for colicky babies in the now-empty cubicles would have less of an impact on productivity.