I worked in a place that had several apple trees in the parking lot that led to a similar issue. The apples would ferment then drunk squirrels would chase people around sometimes. It was pretty funny unless it happened to you
I regularly see a squirrel (of the European red kind, far more reclusive and shy than their American relatives) frantically licking the varnish of a chair that lives on my balcony. Looks very much like a drug habit, I hope it's not too unhealthy.
Confirms my belief that squirrels are assholes. We have some that urinate on our deck. They also pick and take a single bite out of our tomatoes and lemons, spoiling an entire harvest just before we pick it.
OMG yes. I feed crows on my balcony, giving them a few dozen peanuts every day. I mind less that the squirrels steal them and much more that they fucking pee on the deck railing every time. I’ve taken to leaving a window open and shooting them with a water pistol; that blows their minds.
Supposedly that's how peppers evolved their capsaicin irritant. Discouraged land-bound consumers but encouraged avians who would carry the seeds further.
Pellet gun or a bow sounds like it could seriously hurt the animal, why would you prefer that rather than harmless water? They'll learn after a while to stay away with just water.
I find this reply humorous as it points out the flaw in the above posters thinking.
Having said that, I tend to lean on the side of the other poster in that harming animals should be avoided unless there's a specific reason (such as eating them)
At some point the world isn't kumbaya and the animals will learn when they tend to die or be physically hurt when approaching that activity.
You really don't want to take squirrels to your local butcher. If they don't laugh you out of the shop, there's not nearly enough meat on them to pay them for their time.
Get yourself a good, sharp paring knife or pocket knife and some kitchen shears and you're good to go.
Oh, I’ve no desire to hurt them. Squirrels are living creatures. They’re causing no true harm, and I have no ends that are served well by their deaths. One could argue about whether they aspire to true Personhood as a dog or dolphin or human, but they certainly have their own little bits of Buddha-nature, and that is to be respected.
Thought about it. My neighbors are so close that I worry about using anything other than a water gun, which was pretty ineffective, though they seem to really, really hate water, for some reason.
Yeah, but they're a lot larger than a squirrel. Unless you have squirrels the size of exhaust ports, in which case I need to know how to avoid your neighborhood!
Get a cat. The presence/smell of a cat will do even if they never directly harm a squirrel. The week after my cat passed away, I was shocked at how brazen the local squirrels became. Suddenly they were everywhere around the house.
I worked at a pet store in college. This mother came in with her daughter and they wanted to get a Pet. They weren’t sure what but definitely not a rat, and definitely not a male anything.
I worked with them for about three hours, and at the end sent them home with a male rat. Both delighted as can be.
He was a very social and playful one that I had been planning on taking home.
Yes, if you can stand the smell, and keep them active and socially-engaged, rats make excellent pets. They’re more predator than prey, with all that implies.
I find their body language pretty hard to read and their interaction to be much closer to prey (a rabbit) than predator (a dog or cat), but perhaps that is a lack of experience on my part.
I once thought squirrels were cute. Then I became a condo association president.
I removed squirrel carcasses from all rooftop A/C units, along with the harvested nutshells that they had left behind. I patched the holes they opened into the walls and crevices of the condo apartments.
Finally I helped remove the 40-year-old pecan tree adjacent to one building's slab and which had hosted these pests for decades. The tree was lifting the slab and likely would have broken the foundation.
I have resolved that buildings should never coexist with either large trees (nut-bearing or otherwise) or with rodents.
Two years ago some jackass planted two pecan trees in the condo front yard. This year the pecans are falling and the squirrels have already moved back. The homeowners' association is clueless. The cycle continues.
My parents love to put out bird seed but are in a constant war with the squirrels.
Once, years ago, they went on a long vacation. The squirrels didn't like that the humans weren't setting out the buffet, so they broke into the food storage: a bog-standard rubbermaid style 55-galon outdoor trash can. They chewed right through the lid.
Solution: replace with a bog-standard metal outdoor trash can. After the next vacation, my parents came home to find tooth marks on the lid, signs of an attempted but thwarted break-in. Battle: Humans. War: On-going.
Maybe the mouse keeper will help, a device I created when I was student. It is a motion detector duct taped to a vacuum cleaner. Works very good on mice, perhaps also on squirrels.
Where I used to live there was a pear tree in a dog park, and a huge rabbit problem in the whole city. So every autumn your dog might end up chasing a rabbit around the dog park in the middle of the night.
