At one time in my life I thought myself crazy by overthinking mathematics, and I began to hallucinate and hear voices and see huge wars happening in front of my eyes off in the distance, it all added up to a delusion Earth was in Hell. (as an atheist/agnostic it pains me to write that) In my insanity I did things I hate having done and wound up in jail. While I was in jail, I wished I had known to ignore the voices and visions, to do nothing, say nothing, just think about it and think about it, and be a “normie.”
The trigger for all of it had something to do with thinking about the opposite word to each word in a sentence. After tinkering with that for a while, my brain started to automatically invert the incoming words. Someone would say, “Good Morning” and my mind would translate it into “Bad Evening” as if everyone was saying the complement of what they actually said. Needless to say, that was a big factor in me believing the whole world had been sucked into Hell. I thought I was being mind controlled.
Another big aspect of it was this idea everything was connected to everything else. Which isn’t necessarily wrong, but in the context of thinking you’re in hell, that turns everything guilty by association in a sense.
I know it was all a delusion, and it was such a complete nightmare and made me the opposite of how I think of myself, not as an intelligent citizen who loves life and STEM, but as a psycho locked naked in solitary for months who thought everyone else was possessed.
Probably wrecked my life, but at least I’m out now and sane and able to enjoy life with family and friends again.
If you or someone you know goes “crazy,” a plan in place in advance could save you/them, because the system is often too slow to help you if you wait until you have a problem, or because you won’t trust the system when you’re crazy, because you think it’s bad somehow when you’re in that mind state.
Thus, my most hard-earned learning is to never take your own mental health and sanity for granted, and have a mental health plan for if you do experience psychosis. Never let insanity drive you to do anything you’ll regret.
The trigger for all of it had something to do with thinking about the opposite word to each word in a sentence. After tinkering with that for a while, my brain started to automatically invert the incoming words. Someone would say, “Good Morning” and my mind would translate it into “Bad Evening” as if everyone was saying the complement of what they actually said. Needless to say, that was a big factor in me believing the whole world had been sucked into Hell. I thought I was being mind controlled.
Another big aspect of it was this idea everything was connected to everything else. Which isn’t necessarily wrong, but in the context of thinking you’re in hell, that turns everything guilty by association in a sense.
I know it was all a delusion, and it was such a complete nightmare and made me the opposite of how I think of myself, not as an intelligent citizen who loves life and STEM, but as a psycho locked naked in solitary for months who thought everyone else was possessed.
Probably wrecked my life, but at least I’m out now and sane and able to enjoy life with family and friends again.
If you or someone you know goes “crazy,” a plan in place in advance could save you/them, because the system is often too slow to help you if you wait until you have a problem, or because you won’t trust the system when you’re crazy, because you think it’s bad somehow when you’re in that mind state.
Thus, my most hard-earned learning is to never take your own mental health and sanity for granted, and have a mental health plan for if you do experience psychosis. Never let insanity drive you to do anything you’ll regret.