be a founder or a consultant, not a founding engineer. build up a set of specialized skills in something you love doing, network your face off, keep lifestyle inflation under control, and keep a large amount of your savings liquid(ish). if the right people and opportunity comes along, be ready to tap those savings and live off them for at least a year while you build the company or be selective about your next consulting job. like the old cliche says, luck is where opportunity meets preparation.

if you're not that ambitious and simply want to live comfortably, then go to those early stage startups and negotiate for higher cash comp and a smaller slice of the options.

you can make great money as a SWE, but there's a massive leap between that rung on the income ladder and the ones above it. it takes a dedicated effort to get there.