You're not working hard enough. That's why they want you back in office for 5 days/week. Should stay off HN and get back to work. :)

I don't work there anymore, but when they introduced 3 days/week RTO I just said 'Nope, fire me if you want. Also, I want a 15% raise'. I got the raise and continued working fully remote until I got a better offer. It's amazing what you can get when you have self-respect you're not focused on deepthroating the boot all day long :)

Now, I think you might want to take your own advice :)