I didn’t care in my teens and 20s and then suddenly in the last few years (in 35), i realized I cared tremendously.

Part of it I think is blows to my self-confidence, part is that when you have casual light social connections (school, the in-person workplace, I now wfh) you get this sense of people pseudo-caring about you.

But once that wanes (age and wfh) and you have you put effort into getting even the smallest amount of care from others. Which, in turn requires vulnerability.