The extended version of Weird that we’re building now however will include community hosting ranging between $10/$100 per month as part of a B2B play as opposed to the B2C model of Weird as-is, so that.
The quirky sensibility coming through in the copy might appeal to the demographic interested in maintaining personal digital gardens rather than a slick SaaS product. It does too me!
Not disagreeing with the thrust of your post though I would take issue with it being both "strangely eloquent" and "utterly incomprehensible". It's just awkward writing... which, for a platform called WEIRD, is perhaps the point.