The comment you replied to isn't about whether friendships are transactional. They detailed a long list of ways that your theoretical and "realistic" friendships are bad and unrealistic definitions. If you didn't have friends closer to your first definition in most ways than your second, you haven't had a close friend, which isn't something to be shamed over but is something to consider.

> Is the idea that friendship might be transactional too scary a thought to consider head on?

Rather than be defensive, it was designed to shock you out of your current thought patterns on friendship, because they are almost delusional. Neither movie idealised friends nor real-life friendships have any of the characteristics you describe, and that is distorting your view of the world.

Pretending real friendship is a Hollywood myth is self-selecting yourself out of one of the most rewarding aspects of life. Don't do it to yourself.

> The study authors gave a survey to 84 college students in the same class,

Come on, time to get offline and go make some friends.

I liked the answers from both of you. I can see both sides.

At the end of the day though? Yeah, maybe just a good reminder for us all to get outside and meet people.

> Oof, I really struck a nerve huh?

No, you're misreading the tone here. It's more gentle paternal nudging.

Don't let confirmation bias mislead you into a lonely life, especially not based on a study on somecollege students.

I know it's more comforting to believe real friendships exist only in fiction rather than admit you haven't experienced it, but in the long run, this belief only hurts you.

Paternalism in all of its forms is bad on face. You clearly got triggered hard by these comments.

I suspect this may be projection.

Based on your comments, maybe some paternal advice wouldn't go astray.