I am not a parent, so I'll admit a skewed perspective here, or perhaps a lack of context entirely, but I think you need to be very careful about putting forth authority -- what I assume you mean as discipline and respect -- as a sufficient basis for different standards of behavior.
From watching people grow up in my generation under the same sort of philosophy, I've seen them develop the mind set that anything put forth by authority must be correct, and in the process hold obviously contrary points of view without batting an eye. One of the causes I've been able to gather is that they spent a large part of their growing years being told how things are and to accept that as sufficient evidence, but not having what is asserted jive with their own impressions. Enough of that, if they don't rebel they develop the sense that their own impressions and intuitions are completely flawed, and should never be trusted without someone else to tell how things are.
I'm not saying that you are wrong to enforce a no swearing policy with your kids -- that's an entirely different discussion that you have already said you don't want, so I won't push for it. But from my teenage perspective of not so many years ago, I can imagine being very different -- less curious, less assertive, less independent -- if my parents had been more authoritarian, and not to be harsh but less reasonable, approach to setting ground rules for my behavior.
I understand where you're coming from, but if you knew me better (or, I imagine, any parent that writes on HN), you'd know that isn't an issue in this case. And, there's a difference between thinking for yourself and growing up incapable of recognizing boundaries.
I've gathered from enough people that being a parent runs a moderate likelihood of changing my perspective on this; time will tell. And I also wasn't presuming on your capabilities as a parent, or anything else about you; just on the argument you laid out here. :-)
And I agree, there is a difference between thinking for oneself and learning about boundaries. Except that I could imagine my 10-12 year old self wondering why my primary role models seemed to be demanding one form of behavior, and then exemplifying a different form. At this point, I could only imagine thinking a boundary had been placed on where I was allowed to think for myself. They'd seem like boundaries for the sake of having boundaries. Maybe you see it differently or don't care what I think, but I'm still confused.
From watching people grow up in my generation under the same sort of philosophy, I've seen them develop the mind set that anything put forth by authority must be correct, and in the process hold obviously contrary points of view without batting an eye. One of the causes I've been able to gather is that they spent a large part of their growing years being told how things are and to accept that as sufficient evidence, but not having what is asserted jive with their own impressions. Enough of that, if they don't rebel they develop the sense that their own impressions and intuitions are completely flawed, and should never be trusted without someone else to tell how things are.
I'm not saying that you are wrong to enforce a no swearing policy with your kids -- that's an entirely different discussion that you have already said you don't want, so I won't push for it. But from my teenage perspective of not so many years ago, I can imagine being very different -- less curious, less assertive, less independent -- if my parents had been more authoritarian, and not to be harsh but less reasonable, approach to setting ground rules for my behavior.