> I'm comfortable with noninteractive performance

Thank you. As someone who can and likes to get on stage and do public speaking/tell personal stories to an audience, I think you've succinctly described why I like to do that and not mingle. Social hacking, mind hacking, and mingling techniques aside (which help), even in my most social, I gravitate towards deep one-on-one over being the entertainer in a loud, group conversation. And, yes my deep one-on-one smacks of being so lost in listening that the other person falls in love with talking to you (non-interactive again)

Makes me wonder if there are more mental hacks to be applied - e.g. if you think of the group conversation as more non-interactive than interactive will that help?

As an aside on group conversations (another HN discussion) - I find that I can handle group conversations better if I don't try to participate (e.g. non-interactive yet again). I could listen to conversations all day (I find the interplay fascinating). I can lose myself in other people's stories (to the point of my friends saying - are you having a good time? you're not saying anything - and I usually am.)

I'm curious, for the "deep one-on-one": is this more often with people you know well, or casual acquaintances who pique your interest on a particular subject?

For as long as I can remember, I have had a keen interest in understanding more about what I don't understand. Observing is my number one passion. Since I don't understand quite a lot, I can be easily entertained and captivated. I understand that a lot of people on News.YC want to talk about intellectual topics - I fancy myself a snob because I feel like I can listen/talk about anything (as long as the other person is interested in what they are talking about)

By "deep one-on-one", I mean conversations where I am basically allowing someone to play the role of 'expert'. Not necessarily deep philosophical topics. But something the individual is keenly interested and/or passionate about. It doesn't have to be a person I know well - I've had these fulfilling mini-conversations with people on a train (and it tends to be strangers/acquaintances because I keep a moat around myself).

For example, yesterday at our office galley I got into a 5-minute conversation about soccer (with someone who plays for fun on weekends). I learned that one of the best ways to become a better soccer dribbler (foot skills) is to practice kicking a ball in the surf on the beach (because you have the water resistance to deal with). He also said that the reason why Americans aren't good at soccer (football) among other reasons is - Americans have perfect playing fields, while Brazilians, they grow up kicking stuff in the dirt, sand so the groomed soccer field is easy compared to the rough + tumble environment they learned on. I love learning about the 'hacks' (to become better faster).

Similarly I find I am comfortable with structured interaction. I'm ok if I"m meeting someone in a business setting, but I'm awkward if I'm meeting friends of friends. I don't now how to interact, and small talk with people who I am not close to is painful.