many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors
When I talk to strangers, I often internally wonder to myself (during the conversation), "Can this person tell I actually have no interest in what they're saying, or am I properly feigning it?"
It seems that only after I come to know someone well (or I'm discussing a topic dear to me) can I manage to have a real interest in what they say, so I spend most time acting in social situations. Sometimes I'll dedicate effort to summoning all my ability to appear to care, but other times I just won't bother.
I've also found that at times when I have to both maintain my act and keep up with my internal monologue (or whatever it is), I lose the ability to retain the information being provided. For instance, until I've spoken with someone a few times, I will be unable to remember their name. I'll likely never remember what they just told me more than a few hours after it was said, either, unless it was exceptionally memorable. When trying to get me to remember someone, it usually requires a few examples of things they've said/done and a lot of context to piece them back together.
Think of all the effort; people are far more tiring than programming!
I've also found that at times when I have to both maintain my act and keep up with my internal monologue (or whatever it is), I lose the ability to retain the information being provided. For instance, until I've spoken with someone a few times, I will be unable to remember their name. I'll likely never remember what they just told me more than a few hours after it was said, either, unless it was exceptionally memorable. When trying to get me to remember someone, it usually requires a few examples of things they've said/done and a lot of context to piece them back together.
Man, this describes exactly how I feel when meeting new people and why I find it so draining.
Actually, once I realized that I'll never remember their name anyway, I stopped fretting so much about trying to memorize their name, or what they look like, or pretty much anything else about them.
If I never see them again anyway, who cares; and if I see them again enough times, that information will start to stick naturally.
It's a second and third time that may get embarassing though.
You still have not seen this person enough times, but everyone around already knows that you've been introduced. And then you need to call this person by the name. Ugh! Hate these moments. :)
I won't go into details to spare the person shame, but this happened to me recently. I hope people aren't as adept as I am at reading expressions, because they would have instantly noticed I had no idea who they were as I was shaking their hand, despite seeing them only weeks earlier.
many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors
When I talk to strangers, I often internally wonder to myself (during the conversation), "Can this person tell I actually have no interest in what they're saying, or am I properly feigning it?"
It seems that only after I come to know someone well (or I'm discussing a topic dear to me) can I manage to have a real interest in what they say, so I spend most time acting in social situations. Sometimes I'll dedicate effort to summoning all my ability to appear to care, but other times I just won't bother.
I've also found that at times when I have to both maintain my act and keep up with my internal monologue (or whatever it is), I lose the ability to retain the information being provided. For instance, until I've spoken with someone a few times, I will be unable to remember their name. I'll likely never remember what they just told me more than a few hours after it was said, either, unless it was exceptionally memorable. When trying to get me to remember someone, it usually requires a few examples of things they've said/done and a lot of context to piece them back together.
Think of all the effort; people are far more tiring than programming!