i can relate my one experience of dealing with this where i felt that i had to confront a co-worker for boob staring. it made me feel awkward to sit there and notice him doing it, so the lady involved must have noticed too... i pulled him outside on a false pretense and simply said "stop staring at her tits, its making /me/ feel uncomfortable" and as soon as it was pointed out he was clearly embarrassed and made a concerted effort to not do it.
the lady in question was inappropriately dressed for an office situation - her boobs were literally falling out of her poorly fitted bra and tight shirt with less buttons done up than not. however, it was a client, so extra awkward.
that being said, it seems to be nearly forbidden to comment on how women dress if you are a man, even if they look like some caricature stereotype of a hooker... but, despite that, it is simply true that wearing a low cut top to the office is not suitable attire. sensible women are not offended by this idea, but they also are the ones who tend to wear sweaters to work and do all the buttons up on their blouses etc.
if the situation was reversed i'm not sure what i would do, and that is the worse situation because the lady being ogled is probably going to feel pressure to tolerate the behaviour from a client much more than a co-worker...
> it is simply true that wearing a low cut top to the office is not suitable attire.
I would tend to agree, but I believe there are many that would consider that comment "blaming the victim", or in other words, any comment at all about a female's appearance is discriminatory.
I think if women want to be taken seriously as professionals, they have some obligation to take responsibility for their appearance. A woman whose boobs are falling out of her clothing at work is not dressed professionally. I don't think that's discrimination. We don't let men show up in "muscle shirts" either. We allow women to show a LOT more skin than men and still call it "professional." I think this one restriction on keeping the cleavage covered is a very reasonable standard.
I'd agree, but i also think this applies to both genders, it doesn't make sense for women to show too much skin for a professional environment and men shouldn't be wearing beach clothing to a meeting etc. However that being said, women shouldn't feel like they're not being taken seriously just for wearing a dress/skirt (appropriate length) or anything that resembles their gender. That's when it falls in the line of sexism, I have heard some stories on how female developers got "brushed off" at conferences for wearing a dress.
It's a complicated topic. There isn't a simple, one-dimensional solution. It will take both sides working together to get it working better.
All I am saying is that a woman covering her cleavage isn't some crazy, ridiculous, sexist standard. Men also are expected to cover their chest at work.
it is true. the analogy i like to use (which is quite belittling to men i guess, and very extreme) is being burned by fire.
if you put your hand in fire, you are the victim, but its still your fault when you get burned. the fire isn't going to go cold whatever your intent behind putting your hand in it.
in the same way men will look at exposed cleavage no matter why you are wearing the low cut top. that's just nature, and blaming men for their natural behaviour is no better than blaming the fire for being hot.
the best defence is to not even go there, don't put your hand in fires and don't show your cleavage... i shouldn't have to disregard such straightforward logic because the person i am talking to is a woman. imo that is demeaning to women...
its a dangerous position to take, but for all of the wrong reasons.
(and of course, men can train themselves to not look, and especially not to stare at boobs - the fire can not train itself to be cold)
i can relate my one experience of dealing with this where i felt that i had to confront a co-worker for boob staring. it made me feel awkward to sit there and notice him doing it, so the lady involved must have noticed too... i pulled him outside on a false pretense and simply said "stop staring at her tits, its making /me/ feel uncomfortable" and as soon as it was pointed out he was clearly embarrassed and made a concerted effort to not do it.
the lady in question was inappropriately dressed for an office situation - her boobs were literally falling out of her poorly fitted bra and tight shirt with less buttons done up than not. however, it was a client, so extra awkward.
that being said, it seems to be nearly forbidden to comment on how women dress if you are a man, even if they look like some caricature stereotype of a hooker... but, despite that, it is simply true that wearing a low cut top to the office is not suitable attire. sensible women are not offended by this idea, but they also are the ones who tend to wear sweaters to work and do all the buttons up on their blouses etc.
if the situation was reversed i'm not sure what i would do, and that is the worse situation because the lady being ogled is probably going to feel pressure to tolerate the behaviour from a client much more than a co-worker...